{"id":22410,"date":"2018-09-30T21:37:26","date_gmt":"2018-09-30T20:37:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.diaryofanadi.co.uk\/?p=22410"},"modified":"2018-09-30T21:37:26","modified_gmt":"2018-09-30T20:37:26","slug":"heinz-salad-cream-stays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/diaryofanadi.co.uk\/?p=22410","title":{"rendered":"Heinz Salad Cream Stays"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"SaladEvery year, like all big corporations, Heinz will take on a bunch of new graduates and let them loose with flipcharts, Lego bricks, Play-doh, finger paints, and all the other things that pass for good Team Meeting props these days (I\u2019ve worked for a big company, so I know that\u2019s what happens). Also like all big corporations, every 5 years or so, Heinz decides that it needs to do Something Big – whether it needs doing or not – and duly assigns the current crop of graduates to come up with something (I know THAT happens, too). In Heinz\u2019s case, this typically seems to boil down to removing the flavour from one of its existing successful products, changing the texture of one so that instead of being able to stick to vertical surfaces, it\u2019ll run even on a flat one, or renaming one so that it appeals to people who listen to rap music and watch the Teletubbies. Sometimes, Heinz will do all three of these things at the same time to just one product.<\/p>\n

Unlike the company that I used to work for, where the products were medicines, and so pissing about with the formulations and presentations was a no-no, Heinz makes food products, and these have no such protection. Consequently, if he or she is lucky and arrives at just the right time, the average new graduate can really carve out their future career by having a field day changing things using such tried and tested methods as removing salt, sugar, fat (and therefore any taste or familiar texture), and putting less of it in a pack and selling it at a higher price.<\/p>\n

The current flavour of the month is Salad Cream, which Heinz owns, and which appears to be on some sort of hit list. To anyone who doesn\u2019t know, salad cream is a thinned down mayonnaise-like dressing with a tangy flavour. It goes great with salads, whether they\u2019re on a plate or between two slice of bread. It also works with plain ham, tuna, even cheese sandwiches – with or without salad items included. A drizzle before adding the top slice of bread brings the sandwich alive. But the thing is, it\u2019s called \u201csalad cream\u201d because it\u2019s always been called that.<\/p>\n

Heinz has tried to rename it at least once in the recent past, and I also seem to recall some historical issues over recipe tweaking. They\u2019re on the case again<\/a>, and the upshot seems to have been that someone somewhere decided that since not everyone who uses Salad Cream pours a nice round dollop (see the photo above) on a plate alongside two lettuce leaves, two spring onions, and half a tomato, the name \u201csalad cream\u201d is grossly misleading and must be changed forthwith. As an aside, you\u2019d have a job putting a \u201cdollop\u201d of Salad Cream on a plate these days thanks to the aforementioned recipe tweaks. It\u2019d be more of a \u201csquirt\u201d. But that\u2019s a different story.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m pretty sure that students – who, after all, are the immediate precursor to graduates – might be involved here, since they\u2019re likely to put it on anything from Mars Bars to crisps (potato chips, for American readers). If they\u2019re short of money, they\u2019d probably eat it neat, and I wouldn\u2019t be surprised to find out that they also used it as a lubricant when they\u2019re having sex. As a result of all that – and, I mean, it\u2019s obvious when you think about it – it should immediately be rebranded as \u201csandwich cream\u201d (and I just realised there\u2019s a double entendre there, which is purely accidental).<\/p>\n

Fortunately, Heinz has seen sense (until the next time) and bowed to public pressure to leave it alone. Bearing in mind that Heinz had decided to go ahead with the change until the public found out, and had probably had the label artwork at least partly produced, they could have saved themselves a lot of money by just asking me first.<\/p>\n

Digressing slightly, I remember an episode years ago at a squash club I was a member of. The young (17 year old) son of one of the members was in the bar one night, and he ordered a pint of orange juice and Coca Cola, mixed. It was apparently the \u201cin drink\u201d at University. It looked like diarrhoea, and to make matters worse, he had just crunched his way through a whole pack of Polo Mints – and we all know what anything<\/strong> tastes like after you\u2019ve eaten mints. I just thought he was a berk, and that orange juice and Coca Cola would happily survive as separate drinks into the future (and I was right). The kind of people who run companies like Heinz would immediately see it as an opportunity to get rid of both orange juice and Coca Cola because they \u201cdon\u2019t appeal to younger drinkers\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every year, like all big corporations, Heinz will take on a bunch of new graduates and let them loose with flipcharts, Lego bricks, Play-doh, finger paints, and all the other things that pass for good Team Meeting props these days (I\u2019ve worked for a big company, so I know that\u2019s what happens). Also like all […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[93,87],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22410","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food-related","category-news"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/diaryofanadi.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22410","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/diaryofanadi.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/diaryofanadi.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diaryofanadi.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diaryofanadi.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22410"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/diaryofanadi.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22410\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/diaryofanadi.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22410"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diaryofanadi.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22410"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diaryofanadi.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22410"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}