Well done to Arsenal, who walloped Nottingham Forest 4-0 last night in the “League Cup” – in spite of certain Forest supporters convincing themselves Forest would run up a cricket score and get Arsene Wenger sacked.
In the words of the inimitable Fry in Futurama – the Bicyclops Built for Two episode:
Kicked YOUR ass!
Imagine this. You’re competing at the Olympics. You’ve won a few gold medals and you’ve left the Olympic Village to have a few drinks with your team mates one night. You end up pissed out of your skull – or at least pissed out of it enough to allegedly do a bit of vandalism and pee up the wall behind the petrol station you ended up in. You forgot you were in a country where security guards carry guns, even though you come from one where anyone above the age of five is allowed to, and when stopped at gunpoint and told to pay for the damage you opted for an alternative solution.
The alternative you chose was to claim you were robbed at gunpoint and add some stuff that made you out to be Rambo. However, you were too dumb to consider the possibility that CCTV might be operating in the store where it allegedly happened. After changing your story several times, the CCTV was seen and you were identified as the cowardly liar you really are.
Lochte managed to escape back to the States after his false claim. Bentz and Conger had almost made it when they were removed from their flight by police. Feigen has ended up agreeing to pay around $11,000 to a Brazilian charity so that all charges can be dropped. The full story is somewhat confused and Feigen, at least, appears totally innocent. Lochte would appear to be the least innocent.
True American Heroes they ain’t. And at least one of them should be stripped of any medals he won. He’s already lost a lot of his sponsorship.
If Lochte and his gang of masterminds represent one stagnant pool of humanity, their actions certainly have highlighted another.
Most of America is appalled by what they did. Unfortunately, some of these “appalled” Americans don’t have a limiter on the pendulum which determines how they feel about something, and they allow it to swing freely from one absolute extreme to the other.
The simple truth is that Lochte and co. are merely a bunch of over-privileged assholes. That’s all there is to it. But this is the internet age, and things are never that simple when there is a whole heap of conspiracy theories to run with. Therefore, the events in Rio have stirred up the usual crowd of web loonies.
Loony #1 – Tariq Nasheed tweets:
If Black athletes pulled that… stunt, the headlines would read “Black Lives Matter Thugs Caused Terror At The Olympics”
Loony #2 – WendyBrandes tweets:
If Ryan Lochte lied about that robbery, how can we ever believe any man’s allegations of robbery?
I reckon that second one is a certifiably insane man-hater (I admit I’m reading into it with “man-hater”).
On a related note involving a different story, Ellen DeGeneres posted a tweet a few days ago showing herself piggybacking with Usain Bolt, with the comment:
This is how I’m running errands from now on.
Ms DeGeneres, who I have always liked and still admire, is married to another woman, and is probably all too aware of the problems that come with prejudice. I don’t think for a second that she was referring to anything other than Bolt’s speed but I seem to be in a minority on that. You see, American historical media libraries contain numerous images from the 19th and early 20th centuries of white people sitting on the backs of black servants and slaves. Many images simply show white children sitting on the backs of black servants playing “horsey”, though there are some unsettling ones of adults treating black people as furniture. The net loonies have drawn an immediate parallel and pilloried Ms DeGeneres.
But Ellen DeGeneres couldn’t win on this. If she’d have posted a picture of Usain Bolt riding on her back, these lunatics would accuse her of parodying those archive images.
A few months ago, Ms DeGeneres got caught up in a similar fiasco when she collaborated with clothing firm Gap. The advertisement had a simple and innocent photograph of four children, and yet the net loonies managed to read into it and declare it “racist”. Why? Simply because a taller white girl was apparently resting her arm on the head of a smaller (and younger) black child. The loonies had a field day over that – even the fact that the black child was shorter than the white one was somehow “racist”. No one mentioned that by the same token it was also sexist, since it showed four white girls (or possibly three and one boy). The loonies reckoned it was “passive racism” (their new Big Phrase). I charge – with my tongue in my cheek – that is was “active sexism”.
Although it is ugly and wrong, racism is something which on the whole just happens – it isn’t calculated and constructed like a complex machine, and to suggest that a company like Gap (or Ellen DeGeneres, who has had to endure prejudice herself). Most racists couldn’t explain the mechanisms involved in their prejudice if they tried (which is probably why “passive” is used to describe it). Most would have trouble writing their name, though they could probably just about manage to put an “X” in the “Leave” box on a voting form.
But that’s a different subject.
I mean, we know that the Paralympics begins when the current ones end, but when does the one where we acknowledge that men can win medals start?
For the last week and half the BBC has been talking up every medal won by a female at the expense of those won by men – except in cases where there was no female equivalent or “alternative lifestyle” card to fall back on. Not just those won by British athletes, but overseas ones as well. They had the most pointless tagline I’ve ever seen in “Why Simone Manuel’s Olympic gold medal in swimming matters” in response to a female black swimmer breaking a world record (actually, her medal only matters inasmuch as it is a gold medal and it is not the political watershed they are suggesting).
Today, they went too far, with “Support as China’s Fu Yuanhui breaks period taboo” – a story about a Chinese swimmer who became “an overnight sensation” for competing while having her period. In actual fact, her period resulted in her under-performing, and she was apparently in agony afterwards (pain is rarely a good sign, extreme pain even less so). But it hasn’t stopped calls for “more research” into the issue. Quite frankly, I can’t help wonder why this has not been more of a problem before. But then again, when your hormones are being controlled by a state physician – which history suggests has often been the case, and not just in China – and the big question is what sex you belong to, periods don’t enter into it. To be honest, it’s not much different to allowing babies into swimming pools, and carries similar questions about health and sanitation.
Then there was the Daily Mail, who published a story last month about a teenager who’d been picked to represent Britain at skeet shooting. The girl in question is already a dab hand at promoting herself on social media, and the Mail includes a large handful of stereotypical selfies (complete with pouting and enlarged eyes). She’d gone so far as to show that she was a “girly girl” (her own words) by having pink shotgun cartridges made with her name on them in gold (the Mail identifies this as “adding a feminine touch to the sport”). In a follow up story yesterday, the Mail reports on how she failed to win a medal, along with a photo of her in an evening dress, high heels, and her shotgun over her shoulder outside some stately home.
Don’t get me wrong. Anyone who wins a medal – or even competes – at the Olympics really deserves admiration. But turning it into something it isn’t just ruins the whole thing, especially when it’s a feminist or political agenda that’s being pushed.
I can’t be doing with the Olympics. You don’t know who is competing honestly and who is… well, getting a bit of outside assistance from the pharmaceutical industry. For some countries, the latter course of action would appear to be more or less mandatory if recent news reports are anything to go by.
However, I did notice this story today. It concerns the men’s 10m synchronised diving competition, in which GB won a bronze medal. As the name suggests, the participants in this sport are not singular in relation to each country – they’re plural. You see, it wouldn’t be called “synchronised” if there was only one of them. The upshot is that two divers dive off a platform, do stuff while they’re falling – this is where the synchronised part comes in, you understand – and then hit the water together. The more synchronised they are, the better their score. And whatever the result, barring a complete cock-up by one of them, they are both equally responsible.
All of the foregoing is only true if you’re not a newspaper editor, though. You see, the GB pair who won the bronze medal consists of Tom Daley and Daniel Goodfellow. But in most of this morning’s newspapers – and as you’d expect, the Daily Mail was at the front of the queue – only photographs of Tom Daley were shown. Daniel Goodfellow’s mother is understandably upset over this, and well she might be.
In the BBC story I’ve linked to above, they quote “an expert” from the media – Bob Satchwell, from the Society of Editors – who makes the one comment (in bold) which appears so suddenly that it is guaranteed to mean exactly the opposite of what it says:
Often an editor will make a decision according to the space available, and in this case most likely needed something ‘tall and thin’.
I don’t think there’s anything more sinister than that.
Yes, Mr Satchwell. I’m absolutely certain that Tom Daley’s well-publicised lifestyle choice (which has hardly been out of the bloody newspapers since the last Olympics) didn’t enter into it, and it needed you to make that clear for everyone right out of the blue like that. The truth is that if it hadn’t been for all that coverage about Tom Daley’s sexuality over the last four years he wouldn’t have been singled out like this – his diving partner is just as photogenic. Tom Daley is what he is as far as media targets go because of the coverage of his private life – and because the world is currently trying its damnedest to show how tolerant it is. And that is somewhat more sinister than you suggest.
The saddest part is that the media and those loopy Olympics hangers-on are wetting themselves over what is only a bronze medal, after all (I know, I know – but let’s just be honest). The two people who should really should be proud and excited by it (because they won it) are Tom Daley and Daniel Goodfellow. Thanks to the Daily Mail and the rest ballsing it up because of their warped agenda, the event of a lifetime has been ruined for one of them.
All the best with the new England job, Sam.
Just be bloody careful and look after yourself after your heart scare a while back.
I was looking forward to the Euro 2016 competition. Naively, perhaps, the thought of violence among the fans hadn’t even occurred to me – until reports began to surface of incidents between police and English supporters in the days before Saturday’s match.
You can get into the argument about whether they are true “fans” or not until the cows comes home – the fact remains that they ARE English, they ARE there, and there ARE a lot of them. The single picture above makes it clear that it’s not just a “small minority”. Clearly, a very large number of those at the Euros are so incapable of holding their drink, many will fall to violence two seconds after sniffing a pint of beer.
Every single one of them should be deported. When they get back, their passports should be confiscated for life, and any one of them who already has a criminal record should be chemically castrated so that they can’t breed (although most of them have probably already been doing that since they were fourteen). This is exactly what happens when you don’t punish people when they’re younger, and it needs to stop.
Mind you, if England is portrayed as being “full” of football hooligans, it has to be said that Russia can boast a similar title – with the word “hooligan” replaced by “psychopath”. Russian media is incapable of seeing the truth in anything, be it world events or football, and God forbid that it should admit to any blame lying with its own people, some of whom had managed to get into the ground for the match with martial arts equipment. If what I saw on TV was anything to go by, some of them were pretty much trying to kill people (and yes, Mr Russian reporter, that’s what your psychopathic countryman is trying to do when he is seen repeatedly stamping on someone’s head, or launching his whole weight into a punch to someone’s face).
As it happens, Uefa has threatened to expel both Russia and England from the competition. Personally, I think they should do it right now – kick England and Russia out today.
Although it is unlikely to do anything for the collective Russian psyche, which is about 90 years behind the rest of the world at the best of times, it might provide a suitable wake-up call over here.
So. Manchester Utd finally sacked Louis van Gaal after he lifted the FA Cup. Mind you, they didn’t tell him. Oh, dearie me, no. That would have been too simple and far too professional.
It seems that Louis learned of his fate from his wife, who had in turn read it on the BBC website on Saturday after the cup final. The Utd hierarchy waited until today to tell him.
What makes me laugh is how the BBC is now talking of his shoddy treatment, yet it was they who gleefully stirred up the shit and created much of the problem – and almost all of the embarrassment.
And the photo below – assuming it was taken on Saturday – is also sickening when you consider what Ferguson must have known at that time.
The truth of the matter is that Manchester Utd were showing significant cracks during Ferguson’s last season in charge. Yes, I know they won the title, but cracks were evident (they went out of the Champions league early on). Since then, it has been fashionable to blame the subsequent lack of success on David Moyes, and now van Gaal – as if Manchester Utd have some God-given right to win everything, every year. It’s bollocks. They had a bunch of players who were past it, but who no one had the guts to get rid of. They didn’t have enough new talent to replace them. That’s why Utd didn’t do so well the following season – finishing 7th.
Van Gaal managed 4th, then 5th this season (though you have to remember that he did win the FA Cup – the last time that happened was more than 10 years ago under Ferguson and they finished 3rd in the league that year). Of course, when the only acceptable outcome is to win everything, that’s unacceptable. This is why van Gaal was sacked.
Louis van Gaal has maintained his integrity throughout this sorry affair. The same can’t we said for Ed Woodward and the Glazers. Or the BBC.
Can you imagine how van Gaal must have felt, going from the FA Cup celebrations at the weekend (with that grinning gargoyle at the side of him), to finding out from his wife via the BBC that he’d lost his job an hour later?
Where are all those mouthy Spurs supporters who were so cock-sure they’d finish above Arsenal only two weeks ago – and some of whom reckoned Arsenal wouldn’t even finish in the top four?
There was a BBC article with comments enabled, and they were full of themselves. I wonder what they’re thinking now?
Last day of the season, and all the major decisions had already been made. Leicester had won the title – and they bloody well deserved it with the consistent performances they’ve put in throughout the whole season. Aston Villa, Norwich, and Newcastle were relegated. The only parts of the puzzle still undecided were who would get the final Champions League place (Manchester City or Manchester Utd) and who would finish as runners-up (Arsenal or Spurs)?
Arsenal were playing already-relegated Aston Villa, and Spurs were at already-relegated Newcastle. Earlier this week I was praying that Sunderland would still be in a dogfight with Newcastle on the final day so that – in theory – Newcastle would be up for it against Tottenham. But Sunderland condemned the Geordies on Wednesday by beating Everton. So, with Spurs being two points ahead of Arsenal going into the final game everyone assumed that they’d hammer Newcastle, so whatever Arsenal did to Aston Villa wouldn’t matter.
But it didn’t quite turn out as expected. Newcastle absolutely hammered Tottenham with a 5-1 victory. So with Arsenal beating Villa 4-0, the Gunners ended up finishing second!
I was on a lesson with a pupil who is a Spurs fan, and we had the radio on intermittently so we could keep tabs on what was happening. Arsenal had gone one-up within a few minutes, but with Tottenham at 0-0 – and still expecting an easy victory – that didn’t really mean much. Until Newcastle scored. Then scored again. My pupil was gutted when the lesson finished at that point. But as I continued to listen to the match reports as I drove away, it was me who was gutted when Spurs pulled one back, and when Newcastle went down to 10 men I thought that was it.
But Newcastle had other ideas. They scored again. And again. And then, again. They took Tottenham apart.
The only thing I’m hoping for now is that those idiots who keep clamouring for Arsene Wenger to be replaced give it a rest and go back to whatever they do for a living. Arsene is the only man for Arsenal. Period.
How much do Arsenal get for finishing 2nd?
Someone found the blog on that search term. Well, apparently, they will get more than Leicester – as a result of being televised more. They’ll get £101m, compared with Leicester’s £93.3m.
Every team in the Premier League gets a basic £55m. The winner gets another £25m, and each position below that is worth £1,236,083 less. So Leicester got £25m for winning, and Arsenal got £23.7m for coming second (£1,236,083 x 20 places = £25m more or less). Then, each appearance on TV is worth £750,000 (plus a little bit for being on MOTD). Leicester got on TV 15 times, whereas Arsenal were there 27 times!
Arsenal would still have earned the most even if they’d have finished third. The full pay-out table is thus (from the Independent):
1. Arsenal – £101m
2. Manchester City – £96.8m
3. Manchester United – £96.3m (if they finish fifth by either drawing or beating Bournemouth on Tuesday)
4. Tottenham – £95m
5. Leicester – £93m
6. Liverpool – £90.4m
7. Chelsea – £87.1m
8. West Ham – £85.6m
9. Southampton – £84.5m
10. Everton – £82.9m
11. Stoke City – £79m
12. Swansea City – £75.3m
13. Watford – £74.1m
14. West Brom – £73m
15. Newcastle United – £72.7m
16. Crystal Palace – £72.4m
17. Sunderland – £71.7m
18. Bournemouth – £70.4m (if they remain 16th by losing to Manchester United)
19. Norwich City – £66.7m
20. Aston Villa – £66.2m
A big upset in the rugby World Cup today, as Japan beat South Africa in what is being touted as the biggest upset in world cup history. I love this photo, which has emerged on the web.
South Africa have won the world cup twice, and they’re one of the biggest names in rugby. Japan last won a world cup match back in 1991, and they’re hardly the first on anyone’s list of top rugby teams.
Mind you, when you see names like Thompson, Leitch, Broadhurst and Hesketh in the Japanese line-up, you know times they are a-changing!
All great fun though.