GDPR

This site is not a business site. It is a personal blog. Opinions herein are mine, so if you don’t like them just walk away.

Most GDPR wording should start something along the ingratiating lines of ‘we respect your privacy’. However, I have no interest whatsoever in violating your privacy, and never have, so there’s no need for me to confuse the issue by slathering on off-the-shelf phrases as if I somehow did.

This site does not routinely collect any personal data from you (the ‘reader’).

It only collects IP addresses, which are necessary for both the blog and the internet to function correctly. Heck, it’s not my fault you need an IP address to get here, so don’t blame me if I see it when you do. IP addresses are logged by my security software specifically for security purposes, and nothing else. They can only be related to individuals by Internet Service Providers (ISPs), and not by me.

Technically, the site is built around WordPress, and it uses cookies to function properly. The reader may choose to opt out of those cookies at any time. Since the blog allows neither membership nor comments, there are no cookies involved which are even remotely connected to the reader. The only issue likely, therefore, is if the reader has tinkered with every possible security setting on their device and denied access to all cookies, and the site won’t load. In that case, just accept it and go away.

There are no targeted ads generated by this site. The Google Ads are standard code units provided by Google, and the content shown in them is decided by Google. Their placement within the blog is decided by me. If Google is displaying ads based on the reader’s browsing habits, then it is because of cookies or other data already on the reader’s computer. It is nothing to do with the blog. Other adverts – mainly Amazon and eBay carousels – have been hard-coded by me. They show precisely what I want them to show, where I want to show them, and they do not place cookies on your machine.

In summary, and for all practical purposes, the site is ‘read-only’ and does not automatically collect any data from the reader or their computers other than IP addresses.

Readers may choose to contact me using the Contact Form. They do this under their own free will. No details are recorded by the blog software or held in any database, but any information submitted via the form becomes personal and goes to my personal mail inbox. I delete emails periodically if I’m having a clear out, but they are kept in the same way as any other email I might receive.

Readers may choose to ‘follow’ the blog in any one of a number of ways under their own free will. They can ‘unfollow’ at any time, also under their own free will. The ‘follow’ relationship is between the reader and their chosen social media network – the blog has not triggered it, and the blog cannot therefore un-trigger it.

No data are ever passed to third parties except where a criminal act is involved. Remember this: if you decide to be an asshole by sending offensive emails or attempting unauthorised access, you have waived any rights you had under GDPR, and I will report you – with a big smile on my face as I do it (and an even bigger one if I subsequently hear that I hit the jackpot, and you had a visit from law enforcement representatives).

Although I do not have the ability to resolve an IP address to an individual, ISPs most certainly do, and I will not hesitate to report the IP address to the respective ISP of any asshole who attempts the aforementioned unauthorised log ins or who sends abusive comments. After that, it’s between you and your ISP (and the Police, if your comments warrant it).

A similar thing goes for dashcam footage and stills. I cannot identify individuals from the dashcam data, but the Police can. So, if there is video evidence of you behaving like a prat and you try to play the GDPR card, it will be between you and them – with the video footage I’ve passed on playing right on the table in the interview room as you try to weasel your way out of it. I would point out that Nottinghamshire Police have – at long last – started accepting online dashcam submissions. And believe me, they do take action if I submit one. This is part of the standard response they send when footage is submitted:

Officers have reviewed the footage and, on this occasion, there is sufficient evidence to take further action against the driver of the vehicle.

Due to data protection and GDPR, we are unable to tell you the specific action we are undertaking, but the outcome for the driver will be one of the four options listed below, dependent on the evidence that has been submitted.  Those are:

  • Sending a ‘Close Pass’ warning letter
  • Offering a Driver Education Course
  • Offering a Conditional Offer (fine and points)
  • Prosecution through the Courts

If you’re not happy with any of this, go away and find somewhere else to play before you discover how serious I am.

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