News - Diary Of An ADI

Bus Lane Bingo Bonanza

02/03/2017

This BBC story reports that bus lane enforcement cameras make £31m per year in fines. One particular lane, in Newcastle, made £1.5m on its own – and that’s after you consider that the BBC contacted 160 local authorities for financial data.

The fun part is where a spokeswoman for Newcastle said:

We would firmly stress that bus lanes are not there to generate income – they are there to help us to manage our road networks efficiently.

Liar. Bus lanes CAUSE congestion, and they have done so since the day the first one was introduced. You have to be a complete idiot (or pathological liar) either not to realise that, or to argue the point. So sticking cameras on them can only be to make easy money.

A prime example in Nottingham is the A52 Derby Road heading into the city via the Priory Roundabout. It used to be three lanes in merging to a single lane going out, past Wollaton Park. There was always serious congestion during rush hour. Then, they turned the left lane into a 24-hour bus lane, and suddenly three lanes of traffic was forced into just two, with still just a single lane leading out. The only benefit was to buses, which were now able to skip about three-quarters of a mile of gridlock and force their way back in at the roundabout (“force” being the operative word when Barton, Indigo, or YourBus are involved). Since much of the congestion was caused by buses stopping for extended periods of time on the single lane side (all the stops are next to the University, and you can imagine the difficulty most students are likely to have getting on a bus), having them all get down there more quickly made the congestion even worse. Admittedly, it doesn’t have cameras on it, but there are plenty that do.

Using a Mobile Phone When Driving

01/03/2017

DOAADI

Bad Drivers, DVSA, News, Training

From today (1 March 2017) the penalties for using a mobile phone when driving have increased.

If you get caught now, it’s 6 points on your licence and a £200 fine. New drivers – those who passed their tests less than 2 years ago – should bear in mind that the points will put them at the limit provided during the probationary period. In theory – and, hopefully, in reality – that means you’re banned.

DVSA’s photo used in the news release carries the words “make the glove compartment the phone compartment”. Unfortunately, this is unlikely to happen – the typical 17-year old can only put their phone in one of two places: in their hand, or between their legs. Well over half of my new pupils try that at first, and I know for a fact that however much I emphasise the dangers and penalties, when they pass they’re going to do it. I also know that they will use their phone while they’re driving – it is a condition of 17-year olds today.

I fully agree with higher penalties. The only form of education which stands any chance of working is one which carries a significant punishment with it.

Nearly Another Boaty McBoatface

25/02/2017

DOAADI

News

It seems that the new £1 coin – which will soon be put into circulation – narrowly escaped having a picture of a fried breakfast on it.

How long will it take for the arseholes who run this country wake up and realise that “having a vote” on important decisions by involving the general public is like having your dog guard your kebab. It isn’t going to work, no matter how much you try and convince yourself it will.

It was almost Boaty McBoatface all over again.

Amusingly, the design chosen – from a 15-year old, and against the huge number of suggestions for a fried breakfast image – incorporates a rose, leek, thistle, and shamrock. Thanks to Brexit, at least one of those is likely to end up out of place in a few years’ time.

In the words of Kent Brockman:

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Democracy simply doesn’t work

Or Winston Churchill:

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter

Football Reaches New Low

24/02/2017

DOAADI

News, Sport

It’s hard to believe that only 6 months ago Claudio Ranieri was being hailed as a god for leading Leicester City to the unlikeliest Premiership title ever. In all honesty, he deserved that accolade. What he achieved was incredible, and it showed what a great manager he is.

I was amazed that Leicester maintained their run of form last season. I fully expected their bubble to burst, and for them to finish mid-table. But they didn’t – and they won the title comfortably. It wasn’t a fluke, and their success was down to both Ranieri and the players.

This season didn’t start (nor has it continued) so well, and even just a handful of matches in there were calls from Leicester supporters for Ranieri to be sacked (I heard one dickhead on 5Live saying that). Given that these same supporters had, less than three months earlier, been dancing in the streets as a result of an almost impossible Premiership title, words such as hypocrites, scumbags, idiots, backstabbers, and so on sprang to mind.

I just saw in the news that he has been sacked.

For the first time ever I agree with something Jose Mourinho has said (in a tweet):

CHAMPION OF ENGLAND and FIFA MANAGER of THE YEAR⚽️.sacked. Thats the new football claudio.keep smiling AMICO.nobody can delete the history you wrote.

Gary Lineker adds:

After all that Claudio Ranieri has done for Leicester City, to sack him now is inexplicable, unforgivable and gut-wrenchingly sad.

The people who have failed are the ones who run around on the pitch.

Those morons calling for Arsene Wenger to leave are just as bad as those who turned on Ranieri.

New £1 Coin Imminent

18/02/2017

DOAADI

ADI, News

A new £1 coin with 12 “sides” is being launched in March 2017. The old £1 coin will cease to be legal tender in October 2017. People are being advised to cash in their piggy bank and whisky bottle collections as soon as possible so they don’t lose out.

Apparently, there is £45 million worth of counterfeit £1 coinage circulating in the UK. I can well believe it – I regularly get obviously fake coins in my change. You can tell by how rough they look, their colour, and (in many cases) the fact that machines frequently won’t take them. I have to be honest when I say it is a major pain when you want to buy a parking ticket and the only £1 coin in your pocket gets repeatedly spat out by the ticket machine. Fortunately, handing these coins off to someone else isn’t a problem.

I saw an article a few months ago where supermarkets were saying that shopping trolleys were able to accept the new coins. I don’t think Asda falls in that bracket. When I shopped there last Saturday, I used my trolley token on my key ring to release a trolley as usual. Tonight, I noticed that the chains and keys had been removed from all trolleys!

This could go one of two ways. Either Asda has removed the chains prior to having new mechanisms fitted. Or it has just dealt with the new coin problem by ensuring that half the trolleys end up adorning verges and off-road footpaths by mid-summer. I’ll wait a little longer before commenting further.

Incidentally, being able to take card payments from pupils has significantly reduced the risk of being handed counterfeit notes (and coins) when receiving payments for lessons. I used to hate getting £50 notes in payment for 2 hour lessons because a lot of places won’t accept them since so many are counterfeit.

Darwin Awards 2017: A New Candidate

16/02/2017

DOAADI

Funny, News

Andrew Jackson had an interview with Greater Manchester Police for a job in their IT department. The problem was that he stank of alcohol, and when casually questioned about whether he had found the interview location easily enough, commented that he’d had a job finding somewhere to park.

Alarm bells duly rang, he was breathalysed after the hour-long interview, and still blew positive. Proper tests even later at Bury police station still gave a reading of 46 mcg (the legal limit is 35 mcg). He had apparently been drinking the night before, though he denied drinking before the interview. He pleaded guilty in court.

He was banned for a year, and fined £235. I am assuming he didn’t get the job.

Definitely an early contender for the 2017 Darwin Awards (that’s my version, not the official ones).

Unicef BLANKET 70007 Text

16/02/2017

DOAADI

Movies & TV, News

I was watching TV just now, and an appeal came on for Syrian children asking for a donation of £3 to buy a blanket. I suddenly felt quite benevolent (actually, I do occasionally make donations, usually through DEC, and once or twice through crowdfunding websites). I usually resist formal charities like the plague – and I was reminded why, yet again.

I was just about to text and make my donation when I had a thought. A quick Google revealed that if you do text Unicef, you subsequently receive nuisance phone calls and texts every day, with absolutely no way of stopping them. The calls are trying to pressure people into further or increased donations.

Sorry, Unicef. Sort the problem out yourselves. If you’re so thick you can’t see the negative impact such behaviour has on your campaign, there’s no way I could trust you with a bottle cap, let alone £3 of mine.

Idiocy Is An Epidemic

12/02/2017

DOAADI

News

That could be a song title by an experimental, post-punk, alternative rock/dance band. Instead, it readily describes a woman from Birmingham who has gotten herself into debt over a trivial matter.

Don’t let the title of the Birmingham Mail story fool you (link removed, article no longer exists). This is no miscarriage of justice or anything. What she did was crystal clear, and it begins with her parking on a yellow line – something for which she would have correctly been ticketed and fined for doing. If she’d have paid the fine immediately, it would have cost £30. But that was too simple. The following can be gleaned from the news report:

at the time of the offence, she didn’t have a parking permit for parking outside her home
in any case, she parked on a yellow line, which had nothing to do with the permit
it isn’t clear why she didn’t pay, even though she admits she was at fault – so the bill rose to £60 after 21 days
she “ignored things”
she hadn’t told DVLA of her change of address (that’s illegal, I believe) and correspondence was therefore being misdirected
bailiffs turned up at her old address 8 months later and only then did her previous landlord contact her
she set up a monthly scheme with the bailiffs and defaulted immediately
she continued to ignore the situation
the bailiffs turned up two weeks before Christmas with a bill of £400
her partner told them to take the car – worth £100 as scrap – but refused to hand over the keys just to be awkward
again, the bailiffs backed off, but are due to return this week with a new bill of £600

Even though her explanations are peppered with “I was at fault” or the like, she is still rattling on:

“This is my home,” said Sam, “And I am being charged over £600 for parking outside my home.”

No, you’re not. You’re being charged for parking on a yellow line and ignoring all attempts to get you to pay the fine. You’re lucky you’re not in court for failing to alter your vehicle registration documents (which carries a possible £1,000 fine by itself), particularly since it can be done very easily – if you actually have the log book in the first place, of course. Legally, failure to update your address leaves you entirely at fault for any fines and fees which accrue due to correspondence going astray.

But the bottom line is that this is an absolute non-story. For a start off, it is obviously sanitised to make it look one-sided (you can imagine the underlying attitude towards being fined for “parking outside my own house” which surfaced when the original ticket was first issued). However, Birmingham City Council has halted all bailiff action, and has given the woman the means to submit a declaration to the Traffic Enforcement Centre and have the charges revoked. All she would then have to do is pay a £70 fine, though I suspect she would even screw up that simple get out of jail free opportunity (in spite of having said she wishes she’d paid up earlier). She can still dispute it, and I suspect the effort on her part being necessary to close this off will prove to much for her to accept.

Of course, someone somewhere is going to have to foot the bill for all the leg work involved here, and taxation is something I assume that even people like her have to partake in. Hence the title of this article.

I think we have our first contender for the 2017 Darwin Awards.

You Couldn’t Make This Up!

12/02/2017

DOAADI

Funny, News

Hot on the heels of that last story about companies employing retards and allowing them to make business-shaping decisions, Sainsbury’s appears to have done it again with one of its Valentine’s Day crapola range items. They’re called Hugging Bear Mugs, and they come in pairs. You will note that – if you make the obvious connection based on visual appearance – they are both male.

Assuming that it’s true (a lot of fake news around now that fake news is in the news), you have to wonder any of the following:

who would be stupid enough to buy one?
who would be stupid enough to THINK someone would be stupid enough to buy one, and that they should become a stock item?
who would be stupid enough to think you could sell enough of them to make it a profitable line?
who would be stupid enough not to see the overt visual reference to male genitalia?
who would be stupid enough not to realise any of the above at any stage of the buying process, and allow the product to end up as an SKU?
Who would be stupid enough to recruit – and to continue to employ – people who made or failed to spot these crass decisions beforehand?

Apart from a few students – and admittedly, probably a few more than would have before, now that this has been in the media – you’d need the mentality of a Brexit voter and no class whatsoever to buy one.

What’s more, I would suggest that having it on display – in full view of children – is a breach of the UK’s obscenity laws.

It’s obvious what the mugs are supposed to be showing, and the covert message they are obviously trying to convey. It is unbelievable that Sainsbury’s could have got so many decisions so wrong in order for these to go on open sale.

When Teamworking® Goes Wrong

12/02/2017

DOAADI

Food, News

I’ve written before of my still-recurring nightmares about Teamworking and the hell I had to put up with for the final ten years of my time in the rat race. Not that long ago, Sainsbury’s made the mistake of allowing “the Team” to become involved in things which were really none of their business, and which were well beyond their wit to consider the full implications involved. Of course, also of similar magnitude on the Stupid Scale was the Boaty McBoatface fiasco, and the “decision” to leave the EU.

It’s just what happens when idiots allow even bigger idiots to become involved in important decision making.

Weetabix has now had a go at demonstrating how stupid its staff are, and is just as guilty of not ring-fencing the situation as Sainsbury’s and the British Government (specifically, ex-PM David Cameron) were to protect itself from the subsequent and inevitable bad publicity.

For anyone who doesn’t know, Weetabix is a breakfast cereal which, in its most common form, comes as formed blocks of cereal. Like any 21st Century cereal, on its own it tastes like cardboard, and is only rendered edible – it’s actually rather nice – by the addition of milk and a little sugar sprinkled on top. Technically, it only remains “nice” for a few minutes before it turns into a gloop that is almost identical to wallpaper paste, but that’s a different story.

Weetabix staff appear to have held a brainstorming session at some point (this is by its own admission), and “the Team” came up with the idea of putting ham and poached eggs on the top! It’s apparently a “British version of Eggs Benedict”. Weetabix management is now frantically trying to underplay the negative reaction to it:

Weetabix admitted staff got “a ‘little’ enthusiastic” during a brainstorming session, adding it “seemed like a good idea at the time”.

“We hope we can put this behind us and still make breakfast work, perhaps with something more traditional like milk and fruit,” they added.

“This recipe is for those who like a little more adventure with their cereal.”

I don’t doubt that there will be some who go so far as to try it – and even claim it tastes good. But of course, some people voted for “Boaty McBoatface” and Brexit.

Incidentally, Weetabix management seems to be turning lack of control over its staff into a bit of a habit. I’ve noticed a few times now that there is a new advert for LIQUID Weetabix – a so-called “breakfast drink”. I have to avert my eyes when it comes on, as it makes me want to throw up. Gloopy Weetabix is bad enough, but a version which is manufactured so it is pre-gloopy (or conveys that image) is just obscene.

Category - News