Update: February 2020 – take a look here (Clifton Bridge closed).
Update: If you want to know what the problem was on 21 November 2012, take a look here.
The simple answer is: because the Nottingham City Council is the biggest bunch of pillocks on the planet. Let’s explain that in a little more detail.
Gas Main Replacement
Standard Health & Safety procedure dictates that no work is allowed within 3 hours of sunrise or sunset, or at weekends. Outside of these times, workers are expected to stand around playing with their mobile phones or reading newspapers in their vans. Regulations also stipulate that any activity within 0.5km of a road requires half of it blocking off and 3 or 4-way traffic lights installing. These lights should be programmed to freeze at least once during out-of-hours periods. The Work Fairy will come along from time to time and make sure just enough gets done to make some progress.
Electric Cable Replacement
Morgan Sindall is apparently contracted to do something with the underground electricity cables, and again this work has been authorised to commence all at once in various locations around Nottingham, and at the exact same time as all the other works. The sign says these works are scheduled to last for two whole weeks.
Severn Trent Water
A typical Severn Trent project involves someone (like me) seeing a leak and reporting it. The Report-a-Leak hotline will behave as if it doesn’t know what you’re talking about, and will not have a clue what location you are trying to identify unless you can give them a house number, postcode, and the inside leg measurement of the bloke who lives there (which isn’t easy when you merely drove past it and saw water running along the road). The leak will then persist for up to several months until either a) enough people have reported it, or b) a chasm opens up and it becomes serious enough for people to take more notice of it. Then, within an hour, the road will be cordoned off and 3 or 4-way lights installed for up to 7 days while the now huge problem is fixed.
Water pipes seem to have a tendency to be situated right in the middle of the road – and even if they’re not, you can bet that the actual leak will be. This ensures that any work involves major disruption.
(Seriously, I’ve reported two leaks, but I will never do it again.)
NET and The Tram Extension
The tram system is obviously green and eco-friendly, and while the NET workers are tearing up greenbelt land and digging up roads in their eco-friendly way, it is essential that they do so for as long as possible (12 months is cited on most signs around the city) and cause tens of thousands of motorists to sit stationary with their engines running every weekday between about 3.00 in the afternoon and 8.00 in the evening.
Assorted Other Problems
While the above works are taking place, Nottingham City Council (and, surprisingly, the police) will have decided that the city “can cope” and will, for example, allow things like the Nottingham Marathon with its associated road closures to go ahead on the same day (and at a similar time) to Nottingham Forest’s home match against Derby County at the City Ground. And also commencing the same day will be a week’s worth of road closures associated with the massive Goose Fair. Oh, and on one day this week there was apparently a big trial on at the Crown Court which required half the Nottingham police force armed with machine guns to be in attendance (according to a pupil of mine).
I have seen the following roadworks in progress just today(5th October):
- Clifton – top end of Farnborough Road, 3-way lights due to tram works
- Porchester Road – traffic lights for gas main works
- Carlton – road closures, one-way systems, and 4-way traffic lights for gas main works
- Sherwood – on Mansfield Road out of the city, 3-way lights for electricity main works and down to a single lane.
- Arnold Lane – near the church, 3-way traffic lights for gas main works
- Keyworth – Nottingham Road near the Indian restaurant, Severn Trent encampment and traffic lights.
- University Boulevard – single lane outbound and intermittently single lane inbound due to tram works.
- Beeston – traffic lights on Middle Street due to tram works.
- Ruddington Lane – now closed for 6 months due to tram works.
- Middle Hill – in City Centre, now closed due to tram works.
I know that there are plenty more around, but these alone enable us to answer the question about why Nottingham is gridlocked.
The recent work in Sherwood is causing traffic to back up from early afternoon all the way back into the city centre via Huntingdon Street, and down London Road towards West Bridgford. People seeking alternative routes are therefore blocking other roads as they’re hindered by the roadworks in other places. All of this is on top of the usual congestion along routes out of the city.
Those Sherwood works are the straw that broke the camel’s back. There is literally no viable alternative route past this gridlock… and it’s all thanks to those halfwits in the City Council.