I’ve mentioned oxymorons before, so seeing the phrase “personality test” in the same sentence as “Scottish” did initially make me do a double take.
The article itself is even more amusing. Apparently, Edinburgh tram drivers will have to take a personality test to identify “risk takers” and weed them out. Reading between the lines (no pun), you can only conclude that Edinburgh’s current crop of drivers are wont to put their foot down, start doing doughnuts, and basically drive to places that are different to where the tracks are supposed to take them.
Lothian Buses (who operate the trams) refused to comment. I’ll bet they did. And the reason for that is because only someone who works for the council would be able to say the following line with a straight face – and probably even believe it:
[The recruitment process to] build an enthusiastic and skilled team to operate the service is progressing well.He said the tests were standard across the rail industry and “considered good practice”, adding: “It ensures we have safe and competent people driving Edinburgh’s trams.”
Please don’t vomit all over your keyboard, people. This is what modern business deals with – and the bigger the business the worse the crap is that they spout. Councils simply take it to the next cringe level and beyond.
Don’t think that it is cost-effective, either. They’ve got to employ bouncers to keep people off the trams while the tests are being conducted (so they’re not written tests – they’re based on observation). I have a feeling that the source may have got its wires crossed here (or written its story poorly) and be talking about a separate kind of testing (i.e. of the carriage, not the driver), because for some unexplained reason (I guess you’d know if you were a tram driver), further additional staff are to be employed, tasked with:
…sitting in on test runs through the city centre as trams stop at each of the 16 stations and open their doors to ensure the mechanisms are working correctly.
You couldn’t make it up. Why make something so simple so complicated? The answer, unfortunately, is contained in the word “council” which – by definition – means using 10 or more people where one would suffice.