I was on my way to a pupil last night during the rush hour. I was travelling south along the Nottingham Ring Road, just at the junction with Nuthall Road – here, the road is temporarily three lanes wide (or four if you include the right-turn only lane towards the M1), but it merges back to two as soon as you get past the traffic lights. I was in the 2nd lane.
The lanes were just merging when I saw this dark grey or black Volvo V70 approaching at extremely high speed in my mirror in the outside lane (reg. no. YP09 ZTF ). The guy driving it literally forced me into the left-hand lane. He had no intention of stopping or of giving way.
Obviously, I used a variety of hand signals to explain to him the inadequacy of his genitals and the absence of anything between his ears. He seemed to understand this, because when I passed him he was holding his finger up in such a way that he recognised what he was. I should also point out that his physiognomy was most typical of his kind.
"Crybaby" Jim Breaks
I don’t know if anyone remembers a wrestler in the 70s called Jimmy Breaks (nicknamed “crybaby”). I don’t want to be disrespectful to Jimmy, because he was a great entertainer, but he did have a certain appearance which went in tandem with both his image and his profession. Essentially, he had a face which looked like it had just encountered a wall at high speed.
Well, the zygote driving this Volvo had exactly the same appearance – small and inferior-looking, with piggy little eyes close together. He also had the kind of hair and fringe which looked like someone had run some masking tape around his head, then farted on it whilst suffering from the biggest dose of the galloping gazungas ever encountered. You know what I mean: cropped short, dead straight fringe with no deviation, extremely dense (just like what was underneath).
But the speed he was doing in that 40mph zone must have been close to 60mph (they do it between the speed cameras when they try to queue jump in heavy traffic) and his driving so dangerous that if it were caught on film he would be looking at a jail term. Seriously, you had to see it to believe it! Oh, yes. And he had a woman in the car with him. I bet she was dead impressed.
Now, I know that this sort of behaviour is a growing problem – especially with the sort of pondlife which drives like the guy in the Volvo (reg. no. YP09 ZTF – I’ll mention it again so the search engines pick it up well). But I was out with a pupil today, and bearing right at Trent Bridge to go down Radcliffe Road there was this woman in a blue Renault Scenic (reg. no. FD07 POJ ) who was in the left lane, and she forced us out in order to get past parked cars without stopping.
Once again, I used hand signals to explain the obvious weakness with whatever it was which passed for intelligence in her species – but I don’t think she saw because she was deliberately not looking in the mirror (like they do). I caught a glimpse of her face and she, too, bore a striking resemblance to the guy in the Volvo (with the exception of longer hair and no doubt something defining her femaleness (which would need to be determined in a laboratory, seeing as it wasn’t that apparent otherwise).
At the Lady Bay traffic lights she got behind another learner. I can imagine the cursing which was emanating from her front orifice – she had what appeared to be a young girl in the passenger seat – and when the lights changed she forced her way across several lanes to both over- and undertake at more than than the 30mph speed limit in force on that road.
These kinds of people – who really should be prevented from breeding – are a frighteningly growing phenomenon on our roads. They aren’t just dangerous, but dangerously illegal in their behaviour. Something really needs to be done about them.