It’s been a while, but there has been a clutch of new mega-annoying adverts recently – mostly on the radio. As I’ve mentioned before, I listen to Planet Rock a lot. For anyone who might still be confused by that, they play rock music.
Volkswagen Commercial Vehicles
It begins with some bloke shouting over the noise of a busy factory, then cuts to what seems like 10 minutes of brain-numbing whispering by some stupid woman. To me, it’s like having a screwdriver rammed in each ear repeatedly. Thank God for the mute button.
KFC
A nasal London-accented street poet rattles on, and on, and on, and on… Ian Wright can get away with this kind of accent (even then, only just), but not this prat. KFC seems to have got it into their heads that their typical target customers are hoodies and chavs.
Co-op Funeral Care
Look, when I’m listening to the radio I want to be cheered up. After being pissed off in turn by Volkswagen and then KFC, absolutely the last thing I want to hear is about how someone’s dad was a crap accordion player before being told he sorted out his own funeral before he died. It’s depressing, and it isn’t going to get me anywhere near Co-op Funeral Care either now or in the future.
Macmillan
And after that, I don’t want to hear about bloody cancer, either. That’s even more depressing. There’s a time and a place for these things, but every sodding commercial break on Planet Rock is not it.
Heinz Soup (Again)
I’ve mentioned Heinz before, but their ad with that grotesque woman coming in out of the cold, having a bath, dressing like Ugly Betty, then getting tomato soup all over her lips has resurfaced. Where? On Angry Birds of all places. There is no escape from these damned things.