I’ve noticed something over the last week just reading newspapers and the Sunday Supplements, and it prompts the question…
Why is it that the moment someone achieves even minor celebrity status, they start covering themselves with tattoos?
I mean, they look bloody awful even when they are small and fresh, like this one on Angelina Jolie.
Why would anyone want to do this to themselves? in the first place?
But it doesn’t stop there. Most people are not Angelina Jolie (last time I checked, only Angelina Jolie was Angelina Jolie). In fact, most people are lardarses, and a tattoo’s natural progression from razor sharp obscenity to dull and smudged obscenity is accelerated by the entropy which seems to accompany most young people – especially women – these days.
So this then poses the question: Why would someone do THIS to themselves…?
When in only a year or so it will start to look like this (and I mean the alien face this guy has had covered up with the big tattoo)…
That’s what happens to them even on normal people. The colours fade and the edges blur. Let your skin start sagging or stretching and you are going to look a right prat a lot sooner than you imagined. My dad has one on his forearm that he had done when he was in the Navy when he was 18 (he’s over 80 now), and it is a hundred times more faded and blurred than this – but it has been like that for as far back as I can remember.
It seems like it is always really attractive girls who do it to themselves, as well. What can possibly be going wrong between their ears for them to want to mutilate themselves like this? Is it a variant form of self-harm?
There are some photos out there of children (even babies) with tattoos – it’s hard to be sure whether they are real or mocked up, but that is more down to my reserve than other peoples stupidity. Knowing how stupid people CAN be, I’d be surprised if there aren’t tattooed kids out there. Remember Kimberley Vlaminck who had her face tattooed and tried to blame it on the tattooist? She subsequently admitted she’d done it deliberately – so you see how stupid people are.
But you see girls out clubbing with ugly great things across their lower backs and shoulders, around their biceps (nothing uglier than a 30-something with a blurring/fading ring of thorns around her bicep – it looks plain stupid), on their ankles and feet. Why, why, why?
Is Lady GaGa any better a performer by virtue of being disfigured by a multitude of huge tattoos? It even appears that they are airbrushed out of her photos (when they are clearly visible in her videos if they aren’t covered up). So it seems people have an ambiguous attitude towards them – on the one hand, something makes them mutilate themselves, but on the other hand they try to hide the evidence the rest of the time.