I was in West Bridgford today and I noticed this For Sale/To Let sign on a building. At first glance, you don’t really give it a second thought, and especially if you just drive past it a lot. But you notice a lot more when you’re on foot.
Look closely, and the first thing you might notice is the wooden structure holding the sign to the wall. Those beams are very well weathered, suggesting the sign has been up for a while (and thinking about it, the sign has been there for some time).
But it really hits home when you actually stop and look at this potential “stunning contemporary office building”.
Let me just state clearly that the building in question is the one the sign is fixed to, and not the one you can see in the background (that one has already been let according to the sign in front of it).
No. Our “stunning opportunity” involves this windowless, rectangular, and almost monolithic structure, which in its previous life had a completely different function to that being offered here. The two boarded up doors are the giveaway, even without the “Ladies” and “Gents” signs. Better still is the fact that it is less than 20 metres away from Wino Central – the war memorial, where the local down and outs spend most of the day drinking 2L bottles of cheap cider.
It’s a sad fact (in some ways) that public conveniences are disappearing from our city streets. The only one I can think of which is in any way accessible if you’re driving is in Carlton, and whenever you go in it there’s always an old guy with a carrier bag who’s there before you, who keeps looking over his shoulder at you while you take a leak, and who is still in there after you’ve washed your hands and left. And there’s always somebody in one of the cubicles chain smoking (or there’s the rank smell of someone having done so in the recent past). On top of that, about three times a year some twat does something inside – like stuffing a mattress or lawn cuttings down one of the pans – which means they close it for weeks at a time until it gets fixed.
Actually, I avoid using public conveniences whenever I can. McDonalds toilets are the only ones I’ll use (because they clean them regularly and the seats are usually free from urine, which is not the case everywhere else), and on the rare occasions I need to use a cubicle I’ll use the disabled toilet because it has a sink and running water. Men’s rooms are universally disgusting – which reminds me of this Dilbert cartoon.
If there isn’t a convenient McDonalds, give me a field on a quiet country road anytime.