Take a look at this half-witted thug. His name is Darnell Miller, of Stockhill Circus in Basford.
He’s now the current front-runner for the 2015 Darwin Awards as a result of his less-than-perfect criminal master plan.
So how did it work? Well, he appears to have been just smart enough to be able to open up the Gumtree website in his browser. Once there, he saw the pretty pictures of mobile phones people were selling and agreed to meet them with the idea of purchasing the phones. Once he had his hands on the merchandise – and this is the clever part (to him, anyway) – he ran away like the snivelling coward he was.
His intelligence ran out at that point. You see, every one of his victims was able to give an absolutely perfect description of him. Furthermore, the master plan had the obvious flaw in it that after the first time you executed it, the chances of further success became progressively lower as word got around. Miller was simply too stupid to realise this.
The thing is, his life was already in the gutter for him to have even tried this in the first place. Now that he has a 5-year prison stretch to deal with, the gutter is going to seem luxurious compared to where he is likely to end up.