2015 Darwin Awards – Two New Candidates

Make a note: Richard Yates and Dean March. This is what they look like:Richard Yates and Dean March

What they did – and it is hard to imagine that anyone could be so thick – is cause almost £600,000 of damage to the East Coast Mainline, affecting 129 trains and resulting in the equivalent of two solid days of delays.

Why did they do it? To steal metal cable with a scrap value of £43. Yes, that’s forty three pounds – no missing decimals or anything.

The funny thing is that when they were together, they probably imagined that they’d committed the perfect crime, and £43 was quite possibly the most money either of them had ever seen. Neither of them looks like they could hold down any form of honest job. I mean, even a McDonalds burger flipper would get more than £43 for a single day’s work – without the added risk of a jail term. These two twats got jailed for between 2 and 3 years each.

One of them looks like he couldn’t breed if he tried. Both of them look like they shouldn’t try. For the sake of society, guys, take the Darwin Awards nomination and stay celibate.

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