I was doing the show me/tell me questions with a pupil last week just prior to her upcoming test. I was doing the under-the-bonnet ones, and the conversation went like this:
Me: Tell me how you would check the oil level in the car.
She: [points to the power steering fluid reservoir]
Me: No. That’s the power steering fluid. In your own car you’d need to check that regularly, but you don’t need to worry about it on your test. What are you looking for when you check your oil level?
She: The dipping… thingy.
Me: OK. The dipstick – so what looks like a dipstick inside there?
She: [eventually points to the dipstick]
Me: Good. So how would you check the oil level with it?
She: Make sure it is between the marks.
Me: Yes, but what would you do if you were really going to do it?
She: [points to a bit of tissue I keep pushed behind the battery, and which I got her to use to check the oil the first time we did the questions] I’d wipe it using that piece of tissue.
Me: OK. And what then?
She: Ummmm.
[At this point, I demonstrated again how to check the oil, then got her to say the whole thing in a coherent single sentence]
Me: Right. Now where would you check the engine coolant or radiator level?
She: [points to the power steering fluid reservoir]
Me: No, that’s the power steering fluid, remember. We don’t have to worry about that one so just forget about it. Whereabouts is the radiator? It takes air in from outside, remember.
She: [surprisingly, she points to the radiator]
Me: OK. Now look where the hoses go from the radiator. Where would you top it up?
She: There [points to the coolant reservoir]
[She quite happily explained about the MAX and MIN markers]
Me: Where would you top up your windscreen washer fluid?
She: [points to the power steering fluid reservoir]
Me: NO. That’s nothing to do with us. Remember it’s got a picture of a windscreen on it.
[She points to the reservoir and explains how to check it and fill it]
Me: Where would you check your brake fluid level… and if you mention the power steering fluid again you’re walking home.
It reminded me of Elizabeth a few years ago. She always had a set of brand new nails on, and she used to fall out with me whenever I got her to open the bonnet. On one occasion:
She: [haughtily] I don’t know why you’re making me do this. I’m never going to do it myself – I’m always going to get someone to do it for me.
Me: Just do as you’re told. You’ve got to know how to do it for your test, so get on with it.
Mind you, I was doing the show me/tell me questions with a male pupil a couple of months ago, and I was having to tease every single aspect of checking the oil level out of him. In the end, I said (and bear in mind he is a Chelsea supporter, and I’m Arsenal, and we have a good laugh together):
For $#%&’s sake, stop mumbling and give me an answer. The examiner expects you to tell him in one go and he isn’t going to play games with you. Just bloody well say it.