Over the last few weeks I have lost count of the number of pupils who’ve got in my car with some sort of lurgy (or cancelled because of more serious lurgies). So far, I haven’t succumbed – but it’s only a matter of time.
In fact, I’ve been sneezing the last day or so, and I just feel like something is coming – you know how it goes this time of year. What’s more, over the weekend my tongue decided to cosy up with a couple of those mouth ulcers.
While I was in Asda, I decided to buy some Listerine. After all, anything that is antibacterial can’t do any harm, can it?
Now, I have never used Listerine before. I’ve used other mouthwashes, but I thought I’d get some of the stuff that makes out it is the Big Daddy of mouthwashes on all the TV ads. But it wasn’t that simple: standing in front of the Listerine (and other mouthwash) shelf is like being in an off-licence. You are spoilt for choice.
I used my innate male expertise on these matters. The green one? No – that must be spearmint, and I hate spearmint. The orange one? Well, that would be minty orange, wouldn’t it? That’s right out. The blue one? Yes, that must be peppermint – I’ll take that one.
My God, Listerine tastes bloody awful.
I’m going to use it to creosote the shed. Or it’s going down the sink without going via me. I haven’t decided yet.