And another one from last week. Heaven only knows what was going through their tiny minds.
[vplayer id=27782]In this case, it was a relatively new pupil who can also be a little jumpy. She wanted to be dropped off in the city centre, and at that time in the evening it is pretty quiet. The Mercedes (reg. no. FP20 JDZ) just stopped inexplicably at green traffic lights, and didn’t move even with us coming up behind. They weren’t even aware we were there until I sounded the horn.
And a couple of weeks ago, this one. Another elderly driver, though that’s not why I am posting these.
[vplayer id=27784]The pupil in question on this one is quite jumpy, and he just about shit himself when this happened. Then I just about shit myself when I saw a 3.5 tonne truck behind us slam his brakes on at the last moment.
Once more, the driver who emerged – and I couldn’t quite see his registration on the video, but it was FH14-something – likely has a clean driving licence, and would use that as evidence he wasn’t a danger on the roads. But he is a danger.
Sometimes, the message that you should hang up your driving keys is loud and clear. You just don’t hear it.
[vplayer id=27786]This happened on a lesson last week (it was an elderly driver). Click the video to start it. As the clip opens, note the dark red car (YG65 FPT) in the left hand lane on the roundabout in the distance. He’s all but committed to taking the exit, but decides at the last minute to cut across firstly two lanes of traffic, and then across another once he’s managed it in order to take a different exit. I knew he was going to pull in front of us, which is why we made no attempt to go past in our lane. Then, for reasons best known to him, he stopped at green traffic lights with traffic going past on all sides. Finally, he decides to move back over into the left lane. He remembered he had indicators for that one.
There is another roundabout about 200m further along where he was originally heading, where he could safely have doubled back if he’d gone the wrong way.
Ironically, he probably has a clean driving licence, and uses that to argue his age group shouldn’t be questioned over their driving ability.
This is an old article which was updated several times over the years to maintain a link to an up to date DL25 – which was the name of the form used to record the result of a driving test. However, since November 2019, DVSA has switched to using an electronic version of the DL25 via iPads during the test. There is no longer a paper record created at the end of the test. And I have since discovered that as of April 2021 (and apologies if the link has been broken longer than that), DVSA no longer provides the DL25 for download. I guess it makes sense that they don’t, since it is now obsolete and would not reflect any changes to the test going forward.
What happens now is that the candidate is told whether they passed or failed, a debrief is given the same way it always has been (referring to the faults displayed on the iPad), and a copy of this same results list is emailed to the address given when the test was booked.
It’s a straightforward exercise getting the pupil to email or text you a copy if you really need it. Quite frankly, in most cases you don’t – you can refer to the pupil’s copy the next time you see them, and you’ll already be aware of what they failed for by listening to the debrief.
However, right now having a copy of the old DL25 is useful when conducting lessons – especially for new instructors. The test is still marked pretty much the same as it ever was (at the moment), it’s just reported differently. And the test report (explanations of what is expected) is useful to anyone learning to drive.
Here is a PDF file of the last DL25 form that I had. Note that some of the pages were for examiners’ internal use, and are not relevant to pupils.
The test report is explained in detail in this article (and note that DVSA has recently updated its own guidance on the test result/report as of May 2021, and this supersedes any articles concerning the DL25 in paper form).
Can instructors use an iPad when doing mock tests?
The short – and correct – answer is no, they cannot. There’s no point arguing about it: you can’t.
When a candidate is on their test, they are not classed as a learner driver. Therefore, the examiner is not the supervising driver. That is why the examiner is not breaking the Law by filling in an iPad form.
However, when they are on lessons, pupils are still learners, and that means the instructor is the supervising driver. It is illegal for whoever is in overall control of the car to use a handheld device while the car is moving (or if the engine is on, even if you’re stationary, if you’re going by the letter of the Law),
Personally, I have never understood the fascination many ADIs have with ‘mock tests’. The only test that matters is the real one – because it is conducted by someone who is specifically trained and authorised to administer them. Anything else is just play-acting and the outcome is pointless. This is even more true when the test conductor insists on dressing up in hi-vis jackets and farting about with a clip board. In these situations, they’re not examiners – they are still the supervising driver. And the pupil knows it is you, and not an examiner, so the perceived benefit of generating ‘the test situation’ is moot.
Having seen many paperless tests in action (i.e. no big deal at all), I can assure you that filling in a DL25 by hand on your mock-test pantomime sessions instead of on an iPad is not going to ruin the impression anyone has of you.
Where can I get the 2021 (or any later year) marking sheet?
There isn’t one. It is now marked electronically. However, the old DL25 is still completely relevant for developing lesson plans.
This was originally published way back when the blog was still new. It has been updated several times since.
As of 2019, DVSA no longer uses a paper test report (the DL25 form). It is all done using an iPad, and an email copy of the test result is sent instead. It means that there is no longer a maintained copy of the DL25 on the GOV.UK website, and that further means that there is no longer an explanatory sheet given. This article deals with that explanatory sheet when it still existed.
However, DVSA now provides an online explanation of what is required. It is effectively the old test report in a new format, and it is very informative.
The benefit of the new format is that it refers to the existing test manoeuvres, whereas the paper DL25 was never fully updated when the new manoeuvres were introduced in 2017, and so didn’t detail possible faults with those.
The original article follows.
A lot of people find this site using search terms like ‘driving test report explained’ or ‘what are S and D on the test report’. I’ve explained everything below. This is taken from the sheet you get [prior to 2019] whether you pass or fail your test, which is officially known as the DL25. The explanation sheet you receive tells you what the examiner was looking for, and why he or she marked you as they did.
I always give out copies to – or at least run through certain sections with – my pupils.
1(a). Eyesight Test
At the start of the test the examiner asked you to read a vehicle registration number. If you do not meet the eyesight standard then your test will not go ahead. If you need glasses or contact lenses to make sure you can read the number you must wear them whenever you drive or ride.
If you can’t read the number plate of a car the driving examiner (DE) chooses outside the test centre then you can’t take the test, i.e. you ‘fail’ immediately.
2. Controlled Stop
You may have been asked to show you were able to stop your vehicle in good time and under full control, as if in an emergency situation. Remember, when driving in wet or icy weather conditions, it will take you longer to stop safely.
One in every three tests gets a full-blown emergency stop, and you will need to be able to do it the way your instructor taught you. In addition, the DE will ask you to pull over and move off again several times during your test, and at least one of these may involve stopping behind another parked vehicle or obstruction, and then moving off again.
3, 4, 5 and 6 Reversing and turn in road exercises
Depending on the test you took, you may have been asked to complete one or more slow speed manoeuvring exercises. You needed to show you were able to keep control of your vehicle. This needed to be done whilst taking effective observations and acting correctly on what you saw.
This covers all of the manoeuvres, although you will only be asked to do one of them during a normal test. The manoeuvres are:
It is/was very rare for someone taking the test in a car to be asked to do the right corner reverse (it is/was usually vans which get that one) – but you could have been asked to do it (that came straight from my local test centre manager). Likewise, some test centres don’t have parking bays and therefore don’t usually ask candidates to reverse bay park, but that doesn’t mean they never will (forward bay park is done away from the test centre in a supermarket or council car park). Your instructor should have at least run through any questionable manoeuvres with you because you’ll need to know how to do them once you’re driving on your own.
For all the manoeuvres you must be in control of the car (e.g. no stalling, not too fast or too slow, and not too jumpy). You must also be safe (e.g. looking for other road users before and during movement, and dealing with them appropriately).
7. Vehicle Checks
It is important that the vehicle is in good working order before you start the engine. The examiner asked you some safety questions of a ‘show me / tell me’ nature. You needed to show a basic knowledge of the checks you should make on a regular basis. These include checks on oil and water levels and tyre pressure and tread depth.
This refers to the show-me-tell-me questions. Make sure you can answer them for the car you take your test in – for example, knowing how to check the oil using the dipstick is one thing, but being able to identify where it is another matter entirely.
Note that from 4 December 2017 one of the questions will be asked while you are actually driving. I’ll update this article nearer the time.
11 Precautions
These checks are simple but important. Before you started the engine, you needed to make sure that your seat was adjusted correctly to allow you to reach all your driving controls with ease. This is because an incorrect seat position can affect your ability to take observations and keep proper control of the vehicle.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a pupil who was asked to go through the cockpit drill on their test. However, I have heard stories of candidates being asked to do it, so make sure you know how to adjust your seat and mirrors properly.
12 Control
Throughout the test you needed to show you can use all the controls smoothly and at the correct time. This means less wear and tear on your vehicle and a smoother ride for your passengers.
This covers use of the clutch, brake, and gas pedals as well as the steering and other controls. Make sure you can use them properly.
13 Move off
You needed to show that you can move away on the level, on a slope and at an angle safely, under full control, taking effective observation. Move off only when it is safe to do so.
This covers moving off in control (e.g. without stalling) and safely (e.g. looking all around, including your blind spots, and signalling if necessary). Examiners tend to be quite relaxed about signalling when it isn’t strictly necessary, but they will pick up on not checking your mirrors and blind spots – so even if you signal correctly, if you don’t check properly you could be faulted for it. This is a common cause of failing the test.
14 Use of mirrors – rear observation
You should have used the mirrors safely and effectively acting correctly upon what you saw. Where mirrors are not enough, for example to cover ‘blind spots’, then you must take effective rear observation. You must always check this carefully before signalling, changing direction or changing speed. You needed to demonstrate you can use the Mirror – Signal – Manoeuvre (MSM) routine effectively.
This relates to using the mirror-signal-manoeuvre (MSM) routine properly in all situations. It is another common reason for failing your test – particularly if you encroach on the lane next to you at multi-lane junctions and on roundabouts.
Check your mirrors (and blind spots, if relevant) before you change lanes or position (e.g. when passing parked cars or other obstructions). Make sure you look properly and don’t just go through a robotic routine – it is surprising how many times I see learners apparently look somewhere and yet fail to actually see the lorry or car coming straight towards us.
15 Signals
You should only use the signals shown in the Highway Code. On test you should have signalled clearly to let others know what you intend to do. This is particularly important if it would help other road users or pedestrians. You should have always signalled in good time and ensured that the signal had been switched off after the manoeuvre had been completed. You should not beckon to pedestrians to cross the road.
Forgetting to signal is a common fault – especially during the independent driving section of the test. Forgetting to cancel a signal is also common. Make sure you don’t signal too early or too late, and don’t signal to overtake every obstruction.
16 Clearance
You should have given parked vehicles and other obstructions enough space to pass safely. You needed to watch out for changing situations such as pedestrians walking out from between parked cars, doors opening and vehicles trying to move off. You should have been prepared to slow down or stop if needed.
Although it seems to vary depending on where you are, most DEs are very strict when it comes to passing parked vehicles. One common problem is when the candidate slows down for an obstruction on their side to let an oncoming vehicle through, and gets too close to the obstruction. As they steer out they often “shave” the obstruction (i.e. get close to it). Going too fast for the situation is also marked quite harshly.
Response to signs and signals
You needed to show that you can react correctly to all traffic signs, road markings, traffic lights and pedestrian crossings. You should have obeyed signals given by police officers, traffic wardens, Highways Agency officers and school crossing patrols. You should watch out for signals given by other road users and carry on only when you are happy it is safe.
Be ready for traffic lights changing if they have been on one phase for a long time (going through an amber when there was time to stop is a common fault). Watch out for pedestrian crossings, and look for pedestrians standing near them – they will have pushed the button, so the lights could change at any moment. Look for school crossing patrols (be aware of the time of day), and don’t miss speed limit changes or other relevant signs. Read the road ahead by seeing what is happening and predicting what might happen next.
18 Use of speed
You should have made safe and reasonable progress along the road. You needed to keep in mind the road, traffic and weather conditions, road signs and speed limits. You needed to show confidence based on sound judgement. Remember, at all times you should have been able to stop within the distance you can see to be clear.
Don’t go too fast, and don’t go too slow. Don’t take chances. Plan ahead.
19. Following distance
You should have always kept a safe distance between you and the vehicle in front. You should be able to stop safely, well within the distance you can see to be clear. You should leave extra distance in wet or slippery conditions. Leave enough space when you are stopped in traffic queues.
A lot of people are caught out by getting too close to the car in front – either when driving or when stopping at lights.
20. Maintain progress
On test you needed to show that you can drive at a realistic speed appropriate to the road and traffic conditions. You needed to approach all hazards at a safe, controlled speed, without being over cautious or slowing or stopping other road users. You should always be ready to move away from junctions as soon as it is safe and correct to do so. Driving too slowly can frustrate other drivers which creates danger for yourself and others.
I once had a pupil who was a great driver, but who collapsed mentally whenever she took her test. One day, just as we were going off to a test, her mum came out to give her a pep talk: ‘Now don’t forget what we told you, Jane. Drive everywhere slowly’. I could have screamed. Less than 90 seconds after driving away she tried to merge with a busy 50mph dual carriageway (where most people do 60mph) at just under 30mph!
Don’t hold other people up, and don’t drive differently to the way you do on your lessons.
21. Junctions including roundabouts
The examiner would have looked for correct use of the Mirror – Signal – Manoeuvre MSM procedure. The examiner was also looking for correct positioning and approach speed at junctions and roundabouts. This is because these skills are essential for dealing with these hazards safely. Turning right across busy roads/dual carriageways is particularly dangerous. To drive safely and pass your test you must be confident that you can judge the speed and distance of oncoming traffic safely. You also need to look out for other road users emerging and turning at junctions and be ready to alter your course or stop. Be extra watchful in poor light or bad weather conditions for the more vulnerable road user, such as cyclists and motorcyclists.
This is self-explanatory. Inappropriate speed is the learner driver’s worst enemy in many situations – if you can’t do the damned things at the best of times, why should attempting a junction at Mach 3 make it go any better? Think and plan ahead – and make sure you know how to handle situations in the first place before you take your test.
22. Judgement
Your examiner will have assessed your judgment skills throughout the test. You will have needed to show sound judgment when overtaking, meeting or crossing the path of other road users. You should have only done this when it was safe and legal. You should have made your intentions clear and been sure that you understood the intentions of other road users.
Again, speed comes into this for many learners. If you see a car coming towards you and there is a narrow gap that only one of you can get through, do not try and plough through – even if you technically have right of way (i.e. the obstruction is on the other side of the road). The Golden Rule as far as I’m concerned is don’t trust anyone else out there (and especially not if you’re in a car with L plates on it). Check your mirrors, slow down, and watch the other driver carefully… and remember that for most people who mess this up, it isn’t that they have deliberately decided to take the other car on – it’s just that they haven’t thought anything at all!
23. Positioning
You should have positioned your car in a safe position; normally this would be keeping well to the left of the road. You needed to keep clear of parked vehicles and be positioned correctly for the direction that you intend to take. You needed to look for and be guided by road signs and markings. Other road users may judge your intentions by where you are positioned so be aware of where you are at all times.
Don’t weave all over the road, and stay in lane (unless you are deliberately changing lanes for some reason). And watch the kerb, especially on bends (and when looking at the speedometer, and when checking mirrors, and when changing gear, and… you get the idea). Don’t get distracted by looking at or dealing with one thing for too long.
24. Pedestrian crossings
You should have been able to identify the different types of pedestrian crossing and take the correct action. You needed to monitor your speed and time your approach to crossings so that you can stop safely if you need to do so. You should have paid
particular attention where crossings were partly hidden by queuing or parked vehicles. You should also show consideration for elderly or infirm pedestrians who are trying to cross the road.
Self-explanatory. Look and plan well ahead and watch for pedestrians pushing buttons.
25 Position / normal stops
You should have chosen a safe, legal and convenient place to stop, close to the edge of the road, where you will not block the road and create a hazard. You should know how and where to stop without causing inconvenience or danger to other road users.
Self-explanatory. Don’t stop in driveways, opposite junctions, too far from the kerb, and so on. The examiner will ask you to pull over and drive off again several times, and they will be looking for mirror checks, signals, and your choice of location.
26. Awareness and planning
You must be aware of other road users at all times. Your examiner is looking to see that you plan ahead to judge what other road users are going to do. This will allow you to predict how their actions will affect you and react in good time. You needed to anticipate road and traffic conditions, and act in good time, rather than reacting to them at the last moment. You should have taken particular care to consider the actions of the more vulnerable groups of road users such as pedestrians, cyclists, other motorcyclists and horse riders.
Look and plan ahead and always assume the worst. Cyclists in particular are likely to change position or direction without warning.
27. Ancillary controls
You needed to show that you can operate all of your vehicle’s controls safely and effectively. The examiner was looking to see that whilst on the move you kept proper control of your vehicle whilst using secondary controls. These include demisters, heating controls, indicators and windscreen wipers.
If it rains, make sure you know how to use the wipers and washers. If it’s cold, make sure you know how to demist the windows inside. If it gets dark, make sure you know how (and when) to turn on the lights.
Eco Safe Driving
You should drive in an ‘eco friendly manner’, considering your impact on the environment. Plan well ahead and choose appropriate gears, avoid heavy braking and over revving of the engine, particularly when stopped or moving off. If you have to stop for a long period such as at road works or railway crossings, consider stopping the engine to reduce pollution and save fuel. The examiner will assess this on your test; however this assessment will not affect the overall result of the test. If there are areas that need improvement you will receive appropriate feedback at the end of the test.
As it says, you can’t fail for this (not yet, anyway), but driving in an eco-friendly way will save you money in the long run.
So how does the examiner mark you? If you look at the driving test report itself, you can see columns with ‘S’ and ‘D’ over them – that’s for ‘serious’ and ‘dangerous’ faults (often referred to as ‘major’ faults), and you are not allowed to get any of those (you’ll notice that the eyesight check only has a box under ‘S’ – if you can’t read the number plate the DE points out to you then the test doesn’t go ahead and you effectively fail there and then).
You can get up to 15 driver faults (often called ‘minors’) and still pass – but you need to understand that there is no way any DE is going to let someone get all 15 in a single category. So if you stall the car once when moving off, you might get a single driver fault. Do it two or three times when you move off and you are sailing close to the wind. Do it more times than that and it will more than likely become a ‘serious’. However, it is quite possible to stall just once – in the wrong place at the wrong time – and end up with a ‘serious’ or ‘dangerous’ fault for it. Likewise, you could stall several times, each time in a different situation, and get away with much more.
What is the difference between a driver fault, a ‘serious’ fault, and a ‘dangerous’ fault? There’s no definitive answer, but an example would be moving away safely: if you don’t check over your right shoulder and no one is there (and you only do it once), that might be a driver fault. If you don’t do it and someone is coming (or if you do it repeatedly), that would be ‘serious’. And if you don’t do it but whoever is coming is close enough for you to cause a problem, that would be ‘dangerous’.
It is amazing how many people go to test without knowing the basics, and yet are fully clued up on how many faults they can ‘get away’ with! Don’t rush going to test. Failing is not nice. Passing first time is – and it gives you great street cred!
What do the ‘S’ and ‘D/C’ boxes mean at the top of the form?
I believe that the ‘S’ box is ticked if the car used for the test is a driving school car (as opposed to a private vehicle), and the ‘D/C’ box is ticked if the car has dual controls fitted.
What does ‘DF’ mean?
It stands for ‘driver fault’. A driver fault is what most people refer to as a ‘minor’ fault. You can get up to 15 driver faults, but no ‘serious’ (S) or ‘dangerous’ (D) faults (often referred to as ‘major’ faults).
What do ‘R’ and ‘C’ mean under Reverse Parking?
‘R’ means you did it on a road somewhere (i.e. it was a parallel park), and ‘C’ means it was done in a car park (i.e. you reversed into a bay).
Where is ‘dry steering’ marked?
It isn’t. Dry steering isn’t marked anywhere because it isn’t a fault. As long as you’re in control you can steer pretty much any way you want.
What does ETA mean?
It means ‘examiner took action’ and it can be marked under V (‘verbal’, meaning the examiner said something like ‘STOP’) or P (‘physical’, meaning the examiner used the dual controls or grabbed the steering wheel). You can assume that this is always a serious fault.
When marked – for example, if the examiner used the dual controls – many learners argue that they were ‘going to stop, but the examiner got there first’. My explanation to them is always that if the examiner had to do it, then they were too late and so they don’t have a valid argument. The examiner is not going to wait and see if you cause a pile-up before deciding you were at fault. He will let the situation go so far, then he will step in whether you like it or not.
A new game appeared across social media over the last year. It’s called ‘why don’t you put your prices up to £40 like me?’ Apparently, it is played every two weeks, and each round has to assume it has never been played before.
It started off fairly innocuously, but it’s turned into another tool of the mind-game brigade – these are the ones who want to sell you coaching courses so you can put your prices up, because obviously you can’t unless you pay someone some money first. The problem is, the people on the other end are often already in the group that doesn’t understand the difference between turnover and profit, the one that didn’t know there was an SEISS grant until just before Christmas, or the one that likes to collect acronyms to use in their lessons (because the more acronyms you have, the better an instructor you are, right?) Consequently, if you believed everything you read on social media, you’d be forgiven for thinking the average lesson rate throughout the country is currently somewhere between £35 and £40 per hour.
I already know what typical lesson prices are in various locations. I also know why they are higher in some very specific locations, and lower in rather more others. But I decided to do a bit of current research, and this is what I found.
I used Google Maps and searched for ‘driving schools [location]’, and then had a look at the websites that came up. I only chose the independents or small local schools I’d never heard of (I’ll mention the nationals later), and I chose as many as ten examples for each location (64 sites in total). I chose common or garden locations across England, and deliberately sought out several in what I know are affluent areas.
Table now deleted – it listed a number of schools who claimed high lesson rates, but which offered huge discounts. Most did not offer high prices because they would have priced themselves out altogether.
A few of these schools did not offer one hour lessons – it was either 90 or 120 minutes, so I adjusted the figures to get hourly rates. Some, especially around Swindon and Exeter, had extra conditions for rural locations (approximately £2 per hour greater). Many offered larger discounts for bigger block bookings (I have used the 10 hour block discount figures in all of the above).
One thing is obvious. Only a very small number of locations are charging anywhere near £40 an hour, and fewer still are offering such prices across the board. Saffron Walden came close, but one school there was genuinely advertising almost £10 per hour lower than the others. Swindon schools had the most variable charges depending on pickup location (along with Exeter).
London was interesting. Chelsea – an extremely affluent area – skewed the results significantly at the higher end. Bow, Hendon, and the eastern side had the lowest rates. Morden and the south had the highest behind Chelsea. But Chelsea aside, London was little different to most other places.
It was the south of the country where rates were highest overall. Swindon and Saffron Walden had by far the most examples of websites which wouldn’t give the prices unless you contacted them.
In all of these areas, the national schools were generally towards the higher end of the ranges.
Obviously, there are other places you could find which are affluent and where the same higher rates tend to be charged. But there are also plenty of others which mirror the lower rates. My data above is just a sample, but it is a fairly large sample which covers England fairly well, and so paints a realistic picture of what is being charged around the country. And it is nowhere near £40. Somewhere between £27 and £30 appears to be the average.
I am not criticising what anyone charges (though that school in Saffron Walden charging £10 less than everyone else is missing a trick, in my opinion). If you can charge, it, then charge it. But what I am criticising is the idiots who keep asking the damned question, and those who then throw fuel on the fire, all of them acting all smug because they live in one of the few areas where you can get away with it. It’s all very well saying ‘charge what you’re worth’, but it doesn’t work too well in places like Newcastle, where people simply can’t afford £40 lessons. And they can’t, no matter what Tarquin from Pleasant Valley (it’s in Saffron Walden) might say. North of The Thames, the average is typically closer to £30, and North of Sheffield it’s even less.
And another issue on the periphery of this is the deliberate decision to increase prices solely in order to try and make up for loss of earnings during the last 12 months. Personally, I find that rather cynical, and it is difficult to separate this from the repeated argument about £40 lessons.
Phew! That was a relief. I was worried I might not get the fourth SEISS because my 2019/20 profits were down as a result of the start of the pandemic, and it was touch and go as to whether my self-employment income amounted to more than my private pension. Fortunately, it did.
I went through the claim just after midnight, and I’ll be getting a windfall of £3,000 – which will help enormously as I gradually build back up to a decent number of hours.
It’s funny, that. I started work on the first day the lockdown was eased, but I specifically spaced lessons out so that I’d have time to sanitise the car, and kept one day free for taking the weekly Asda delivery (though I’ve started going back in over the last fortnight, and will return to a normal shopping at some stage). I didn’t try to fill each day, and if one or two were empty, no big deal. I also spaced lessons out so I could take it easy starting up again, because I knew that after a year out it might be tiring.
As it happens, it hasn’t been. It’s been fun, and I hadn’t forgotten anything. The only problem was finding out what new roads had appeared since I last went out, and which ones had either disappeared or now have roadworks on them (and Nottingham City Council decided that many roadworks should start on the same day everyone went back to work, as is their wont). But I did see that those who had tried to fill their diaries to the brim from Day One have been complaining about not enjoying it anymore (and thinking of retiring or staying in their lockdown jobs), being stressed, and being exhausted.
You only have yourselves to blame. You can’t expect to be able to run a marathon, for example, if it’s a year since you last did any jogging.
An email alert from DVSA is encouraging people to take lateral flow tests on a regular basis. I should stress that this is currently only targeted at Wales – and I have no idea why that is.
I have been ordering free test kits from the NHS, and run one twice a week. Each kit contains seven tests, and each test consists of a swab, a small pod of buffer solution, a sample tube, and a test strip/cartridge in a sealed pouch. You break the buffer pod and squeeze it into the sample tube. You open the test strip and lay it on a flat surface. Then you wipe the swab around your tonsils and up your nose. Dip the swab into the buffer for 15 seconds, squeeze it out as you remove it, and then clip the lid of the tube shut. It has a small hole in it, and you place two drops of the liquid on to the test strip. Wait 30 minutes, and your result is indicated in a window on the strip. You also get seven Ziploc disposal bags to bin everything neatly. Full instructions are provided, and there are online videos to show you how to do it.
Test kits can be ordered on the GOV.UK website. I did it on the basis that I am working with young people who might be infected. You can order one kit pack per day, and they typically arrive next day (my last one was ordered Sunday and arrived Monday). You can also collect them at various pharmacies, or get tested at a testing site.
While others can carry on arguing about whether COVID is real or not, whether it’s legal to ask people to wear masks, and threatening to appeal to the Court of Human Rights over the mere suggestion you might not be allowed to go on piss up to Magaluf unless you’ve been vaccinated or can prove a negative test result, I will carry on taking it seriously and trying to stop anyone else catching it.
Before going back to work, I was running over a few things in my head – and was worried that I had forgotten stuff!
Once I was in the car, it was like I’d never been out of it! The only fly in the ointment was the bloody roadworks. Nottingham City Council, for example, decided to wait until Monday (the first day back for virtually the entire country) to close lanes on several City Centre routes to install cameras. I mean, they’ve had nine f***ing months, and they waited until Monday.
Today, I had a lesson in Hucknall, followed by one in Clifton. I’d left an hour between for travelling time. Going out, I timed the journey (the long route, via Wollaton and Bulwell, and it took just over 30 minutes). Coming back towards Clifton I decided to risk the Ring Road, reasoning that traffic isn’t as heavy right now and it would probably be free flowing. I had to detour at the start because of queuing traffic on Hucknall Road near that new Aldi. Once on the Ring Road, everything was fine until I got to the Aspley junction to the M1. Traffic was at a standstill.
It turns out that there are roadworks there, and you can’t turn right. I was particularly impressed by the ‘advanced warning’ sign that announced this, and which was still on show – how the f*** would I have seen that during lockdown? So I was stuck in the queue. It was made worse by the fact that three twats had had an RTA at Beechdale, so it was down to one lane there. But it was also down to one lane up to it, because the f***ing twats at the council had decided that today would be a good day to cut the suckers off all the trees that line that route. I mean, they could have cut them off last week when it was quiet (or even during winter, when it’s best to do it anyway), but Nottingham doesn’t work like that – everything has to be half-assed and inconvenient. And now I think about it, the lane closure probably had something to do with that RTA in the first place. It took an hour and ten minutes.
I should have gone back the long way. In normal times, I rarely take the shortest route because it is often the longest in terms of time. The rat runs are always best, and that was the only thing I’d forgotten.
A nice easy start to work today. Began with a new pupil who’d contacted me during the lockdown, and who needs a manual licence having driven automatic in her home country. No real issues other than a bit eager with the indicators for everything, and a tendency to brake for everything. But nothing that can’t be sorted. And she’s block-booked ten hours.
Second lesson was with a pupil who is test ready, and who has been driving with his mum and dad anyway. His test is booked in June, and it is likely he’ll go in his own car for that. No problems with his driving, other than he has a Corsa and has somehow got it into his head he needs to go into 2nd gear at 6mph. I explained that that might be the all right on his petrol Corsa, but in my diesel Focus that rumbling noise is the engine saying it’s not happy with it, and he should be listening to the engine rather than watching the speedometer otherwise he’ll stall it (he did once) – or worse.
The last one was with a pupil who’d only had two lessons back in September before we had to stop again. She was a bit nervous, but she remembered most of it and we got going quite quickly.
I did a Lateral Flow Test yesterday and, unsurprisingly, came up negative. Doing the test reminded me how much I hate anything other than food touching the back of my throat – I nearly threw up.
Last weekend, a pupil who I taught several years ago booked her son in with me. His lesson is provisionally set for this weekend. However, when she called me it became apparent that they hadn’t even applied for his provisional licence, so I told her to get a move on because it might not arrive in time. Fast forward one whole week. She’s transferred a block booking of ten hours to my account, but then told me they still hadn’t applied for his licence because they couldn’t find his NI number, and needed to wait until at least Monday (today) to get it. I don’t think the lesson will happen this week.
I also discovered my local hairdresser has made it through the lockdown, and I’m booked in for a trim later this week. My hair hasn’t been cut for about 18 months, and I look like Sideshow Bob. Mind you, I probably still will look like Sideshow Bob afterwards, since I like the length – just not the split ends.