A New Way to Peel Spuds?

On the surface of it, this story from Cosmopolitan (no, I don’t read it – this was an MSN aggregate feed) had me all “ooh! I must try that”. But then I did a quick, mental reality check.Potatoes

In the real world, potatoes usually have ‘eyes’ and other bits you don’t want. If they are anything other than straight out of the ground, they develop various dark patches which extend several millimetres deep into the flesh. Store-bought ones may have gashes which go deeper still. And however hard you try to stop them, they WILL start to sprout – especially in warmer weather. Some will have odd, natural, and very deep creases – almost as if two potatoes have fused together, but retained their individual identities.

I gave up peeling potatoes using a knife many years ago. My favoured way of peeling spuds is to use a peeler like this one (this is the OXO Good Grips Peeler, but I have used others over the years).OXO Good Grips Potato Peeler

It also peels carrots, swedes, and pretty much anything else with a skin. The best part is that if you have an ‘eye’ or other blemish, you just give it a few more scrapes and take it down until the unwanted feature has been pared away. You can peel enough potatoes for four people in just a few minutes, and you NEVER cut yourself (unless you’re stupid).

The potatoes – well, I should say ‘potato’, since there is only one featured – used in the demonstration video are absolutely perfect. Nothing like those you’d want to peel at home.

This ‘new’ method involves cutting a slit in the skin, then placing the potato in boiling water. It effectively cooks the flesh next to the skin, which therefore goes soft, and the skin then appears to come off just like sliding off a glove. I might give it a try next time I get a chance, but in all honesty I think my peeler is probably much less bother.

Incidentally, if you buy potatoes in bulk like I do – whole sacks of Maris Pipers – they stay fresh MUCH longer if you transfer them to a proper Hessian (Burlap in America) potato sack. Store the sack in a cool dark place.

Severn Trent, National Grid, et al Take Note

On 8 November 2016, a massive sinkhole 30m across and 15m deep opened in the middle of Fukuoka, Japan, just after 5am. This is what it looked like.Fukuoka Sinkhole

By the morning of 10 November – also in 2016, just in case Severn Trent or National Grid staff are reading this – this is what they had done.Fukuoka Sinkhole Repaired

To be fair, the area didn’t actually reopen until November 15 because of safety checks. Even so, they fixed it in 2 days, and it re-opened exactly one week after the sinkhole first appeared.

You have to consider the magnitude of this situation in order to realise what a bunch of lazy and incompetent prats certain British companies appear to be when they take weeks or months to complete even the smallest of jobs.

M&S Closures

It’s been in the news a lot over the last week that Marks & Spencer is going to be closing a many of its stores or converting them to food-only outlets due to poor sales.M&S Store Front

M&S has not identified which stores will close, but that hasn’t stopped the Daily Mail – that well-known xenophobic, right-wing publication – producing a list of its own, and frightening the hell out of M&S employees pretty much in every location throughout the country. And right before Christmas. Twats.

But it got me thinking about something I’ve discussed with a lot of my pupils over the last few years. If M&S is seen as having “too many stores” in some cities (that’s the official analysts’ view – there are 12 in Nottinghamshire), are the likes of Lidl and Aldi likely to come unstuck in the future as they continue their aggressive expansion policies in the UK? I mean, if you just look at overall sales per customer, and don’t consider the actual store they shop in, how can Lidl, Aldi, M&S, Co-op, Tesco, Morrison’s, and so on possibly succeed in locations where ALL of those names have stores virtually next door to each other?

Even when comparing like for like, Aldi has 16 stores in Nottinghamshire – with several further sites earmarked for development. Lidl has 10, and quite possibly other sites in the pipeline.

At Netherfield, for example, there is a Lidl, a Morrison’s, and an M&S Food Hall all within a 250m radius. Less than a mile away there is a Tesco superstore, and at least one small Sainsbury’s. Sainsbury’s are about to build a superstore right next to Morrison’s in this same location. You don’t need to be a genius to realise that being the ONLY food store is likely to produce a bigger turnover than being one of half a dozen or more all serving in the same catchment area.

The Co-op has problems which are unique to it, It has been in financial difficulties for pretty much the whole of the last decade, and it has closed numerous stores. But it has also built many others. One of the best examples of the apparent incompetent management style responsible for it’s dire financial situation can be seen in Clifton. The Co-op used to occupy a large unit on Varney Road (the “bottom shops”, as the location is sometimes called). A few years ago – in the middle of it’s near collapse – it closed this store, only to reopen on the site of the former petrol station on Farnborough Road a few months later. The new, purpose-built store is only a few hundred metres away from the original location, which is now operated as a Mace store. The two were approximately similar in terms of floor area.

M&S is accused of having too many stores – and its bubble is about to burst. The Co-op is frantically pumping air into one end of its bubble, while it gushes out at the other. So what logic should we apply to Aldi and Lidl who are currently inflating their own bubbles so that they’re bigger than anyone else’s – right next to those others?

Associate EU Citizenship

I mentioned this a few days ago. The subject of associate EU citizenship for the very slight minority of us who weren’t so racially motivated (or so thick) as to vote to leave the EU.

Here is what Charles Goerens has to say on the matter in a letter sent out to those who have supported his proposals:

Dear Madam or Sir,

Let me first thank you for your email expressing your support for my amendment 882 asking for “associate EU citizenship” for citizens whose country withdrew from the European Union.

I am aware that you are numerous to worry about your future and I was actually overwhelmed by your spontaneous and many times very personal reactions that you shared with me in your emails.

Please accept my apologies for not being able to answer each and every email personally, but I want to let you know that me and my staff looked at every single email that was sent to me.

I would like to take the opportunity to explain the idea behind my amendment, which hopefully also gives an answer to the concerns that some of you have raised.

I tabled my amendment to the own-initiative draft report by Guy Verhofstadt entitled “Possible evolutions of and adjustments to the current institutional set-up of the European Union”, which aims at looking at the possibilities to improve the functioning of the European Union by a change of the Treaties. I have to acknowledge that these proposals are set-down in a so-called “own-initiative” report, and thus carry no legal weight at this stage. However, with the Brexit negotiations coming to a term, and given that the withdrawal of the United Kingdom, as one of the larger Member States, and as the largest non-euro-area member, affects the strength and the institutional balance of the Union, the European Union will have to revise its Treaties. This is where Mr. Verhofstadt’s report could serve as a basis for the revision.

In fact, in his report, Mr. Verhofstadt raises the idea of a type of “associate status”, which could be proposed “to those states in the periphery that only want to participate on the sideline, i.e. in some specific Union policies”, underlining that “this status should be accompanied by obligations corresponding to the associated rights”. This new type of “associate status” could thus be one of the possible outcomes of the negotiations about the future relationship between the EU and the UK. My proposed amendment could hence go hand in hand with Mr. Verhofstadt’s proposal and could be seen as a solution satisfying all UK citizens who wish to maintain a close relationship with the EU, whether they live in or outside the UK territory.

Of course, some might argue that the “associate EU citizenship” would grant UK citizens a privilege that EU citizens, who might have to quit their jobs in the UK, do not enjoy. Yet, we have considered this issue and therefore propose that the associate citizens pay an annual membership fee directly into the EU budget as an own resource of the Union, following the reciprocal principle of ‘no taxation without representation’.

Citizens, who, against their will, are being stripped of their European identity, are likely to tumble into situations, which may entail personal tragedies. Some of those concerned might even never have lived in the UK and yet be forced to move to a country that they might only know through visiting their relatives or spending their holidays. Imagine a UK national living abroad for decades but never staying long enough in one country to be eligible for citizenship in this host country. This is actually the case for some, as I have witnessed through your emails. An EU that praises mobility and thus makes it possible for all its citizens to travel throughout the continent without borders should become active when this great achievement is at stake.

Finally yet importantly, I want to point out that I am perfectly aware that all of the above is far easier said than done.

Currently the Treaties specify that European citizenship stems directly from the national citizenship of its Member States. However, it also specifies that citizenship of the Union is additional to and does not replace national citizenship. Creating an individual citizenship to the Union would thus require treaty change, not in the least to specify its rights and duties, but it would not infringe upon national citizenship.

My proposal is first of all a political impulse to push the boundaries, on different levels. In fact, at a first stage, the coming six weeks are going to be decisive when the Committee for Constitutional Affairs is going to vote on the report and my amendment on 21 November and later, in December, when Parliament as a whole will be called to pronounce its opinion at plenary level. In the meantime, I will have to gather the required majority in this house to pass this amendment by convincing my colleagues of the necessity to make a statement.

At a later stage, when it comes to the negotiations on the future relationship between the EU and the UK, my idea could also serve as a means to convince the UK government to accept freedom of movement of people along with the other three freedoms, which the European Single Market seeks to guarantee.

In all the cases mentioned above and in particular in the eventual case of treaty change, political determination will be of utmost importance and I will definitely not content myself by truckling to those who consider my proposal unfeasible. I am determined to bring this idea as far as I possibly can on the European level. Indeed, history proves me right when we look at the achievements, which European citizens enjoy nowadays. Who thought, for instance, that one day, EU citizenship would give every EU citizen the right to vote for and stand as a candidate in municipal and European Parliament elections in whichever EU country the citizen resides, under the same conditions as nationals. This is reality today and yes, it needed a tremendous effort and, above all, the political determination to get this far. Why not exert ourselves for this cause and make the “associate EU citizenship” happen?

P.S. What can YOU do? A great number of UK MEPs have already expressed their support for the “associate EU citizenship”. Make sure that they are going to persuade their colleagues in their respective political groups to back this proposal, too.

Please note that similar initiatives are currently under way. Feel free to support those, too.

Yours,

Charles Goerens

A Super Supermoon

I wonder if anyone proof-reads BBC articles anymore? They’re riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes, with numerous typos thrown in for good measure.The Moon

But it’s the content that has me worried. Take this article, entitled How to see biggest supermoon in almost 70 years.

Well, just like on any other night, the usual trick is to go outside and look upwards towards that big, round, glowing thing in the sky and hope that there aren’t any clouds. I almost feel embarrassed at having to explain this.

Incidentally, the photo above is one I took last year. I didn’t have any trouble finding the moon in this instance, nor did I have to look up how to do it.

A Way Out?

This story screamed out to me like a million watt PA system when I saw it. Apparently, the EU Parliament is considering allowing individual Britons to opt-in to EU citizenship.

Let me make it clear right now – if it wasn’t already apparent. I consider myself European and I am ashamed of Britain and those antiquated troglodytes who consider themselves British who voted to leave the EU. I am equally ashamed of our so-called government, who couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery, let alone manage Brexit in a way which is likely to avert complete ruin for this country.

If I could opt-in to EU citizenship, I’d do it now. Immediately.

Unfortunately, the extremely small majority who voted us out of the EU was effectively swung by a crowd of juvenile retards who are trying to carve out a career for themselves, probably having graduated (or, in most cases, who are currently in the process of graduating and thus meddling in things they don’t understand) in soft subjects which have no value in the real world.

One such person – not young, but still a vicious little xenophobe who can’t see past her prejudices by the sounds of her – is Jayne Adye, director (sic) of the Get Britain Out campaign (an organisation which seems to be a combination of UKIP and the Nazi Party).

Charles Goerens, an MEP from Luxembourg, has proposed Article 882, which would give provision of…

…European associate citizenship for those who feel and wish to be part of the European project but are nationals of a former Member State; offers these associate citizens the rights of freedom of movement and to reside on its territory as well as being represented in the Parliament through a vote in the European elections on the European lists.

Adye has described this as…

…divisive and said it was “totally unacceptable” for British people to retain the advantages of EU membership.

“This is an outrage. The EU is now attempting to divide the Great British Public at the exact moment we need unity. 17.4 million people voted to ‘Leave’ the EU on June 23rd and as a result the UK as a whole will get Brexit”.

This stupid Essex woman absolutely does not speak for me. She makes me even more ashamed to be British, though she unfortunately represents what Britain has become.

If Brexit goes ahead – and I pray that something comes along which means that it doesn’t – then I sincerely hope that the amendment is ratified. I definitely want in.

Test Passes

I’ve not been reporting these lately, so here’s a bit of a catch-up since the last one I posted back in April.

TickLena, who passed with 6 faults on 17 May 2016.

 

TickHannah, who passed first time with 9 driver faults on 7 June 2016.

 

TickConnor, who passed with just 2 driver faults on 8 May 2016.

 

TickBen, who passed with 8 driver faults on 16 June 2016.

 

TickLauren, who passed with 6 driver faults on 9 July 2016.

 

TickMichelle, who passed first time with 6 driver faults on 21 July 2016.

 

TickJodie, who passed first time with 9 driver faults on 30 July 2016.

 

TickToody, who passed first time with just 3 faults on 9 September 2016.

 

TickJay, who passed with 9 driver faults on 20 September 2016.

 

TickAnna, who passed first time with 6 driver faults on 7 October 2016.

 

TickNatasha, who passed with just 4 driver faults on 13 October 2016.

 

TickLucy, who passed with 6 driver faults on 29 October 2016.

 

TickHelen, who passed first time with 11 driver faults on 31 October 2016.

Clifton Test Centre to Close in January 2017

This took me by surprise. An email alert from DVSA announces that Clifton Test Centre will cease operating on 25 January 2017. It is not relocating, which means Nottingham will have three test centres instead of four going forward (pending any further announcements, of course).

I’m sure there will be those who will find fault with this. Clifton doesn’t request a bay park manoeuvre (it has no bays), and while DVSA is already trying its hardest to dumb the test down so that all you have to do to pass is to be able open the car door in less than three tries, there are already plenty of instructors working towards a similar goal in their own way by avoiding having to teach the bay park manoeuvre wherever possible.

Note that there is no suggestion that Nottingham will be conducting fewer tests – another likely conclusion that will be drawn by some. The examiners at Clifton rotate anyway, and they’ll just work out of the main centres.

Ticket Touts

They keep going on about this topic, but here’s the latest wannabe pop star trying to make a name for himself by jumping on the band wagon and trying to ban gig ticket reselling.Horslips ad from 1970s

A bit of history. The first band I ever saw live was Horslips, circa 1977 or 1978. I found out about the tour in Sounds, one of the best music newspapers of all time, and wrote away for a ticket with a postal order enclosed (I didn’t have a credit card back then). Kids today haven’t got a clue what it was like before the internet – the only way you could hear music was by buying a record, and the only way you heard about developments was through printed media (or decent music shows on TV, of which there were a few at that time). The ticket arrived, but being a naïve teenager It wasn’t until I arrived at the Birmingham Hippodrome that cold winter evening in January or February that I discovered I was on the front row. Considering the Hippodrome’s curved layout meant that there were only about a dozen front row seats – and that the show was sold out – I’d obviously got a good deal. And this was through a postal application, remember.

At the same time, I was also a Rush fan. In those days, Rush filled places like the New Bingley Hall in Stafford, which was all standing (it was a cattle auction shed during the day, I believe). Rush were my second live band, and even back then I used to go to every show they performed at the New Bingley (I think I remember a three-nighter on one occasion). Those hot, sweaty gigs with everyone packed in like sardines and jumping around to the music are something I’ll never forget. It was a great venue, and as long as you got there sensibly early, being near the front was no problem at all.Rush in the 70s

Jumping to the 80s and Rush started filling big arenas. I’d go to all the Birmingham NEC and London Wembley shows, and by then I was booking tickets over the phone (there was still no internet). Throughout those 80s arena tours, I’d either be in oxygen mask territory up the side, or on the floor about 30 rows back (on one notable occasion I’d drunk about four litres of Stella prior to a gig and can barely remember it). Even in the 80s there were plenty of “my girlfriend wants to see better and I’m hoping to have sex later, so she can sit on my shoulders – and f—k the 2,000 people behind me” types, not to mention the fact that almost everyone smoked (and not just tobacco). It’s only now, with hindsight, that I can analyse it this way. At the time it was just the way it was. Or so I thought.

For various reasons, Rush didn’t tour in the UK for 11 years from the early 90s until their comeback in 2004. When that tour was announced, I was on the phone at 9am the instant tickets went on sale. The ones I got for both nights at Wembley Arena were right at the back in the top corner, and the bloody place is longer than a football pitch which meant I was going to be a long way from the stage. When I queried this with the woman on the phone, pointing out that I must have been one of the first few dozen callers, she just said “tickets go out to the agents first”. I never found out precisely what that meant.

When I turned up for that first night at Wembley and was walking from the car park to the arena, there were the usual touts with their spiel. I’d always assumed touts were scammers selling bogus tickets, so I can’t now explain why – when one of them uttered those immortal words “anyone need tickets” as I passed – I said “what have you got, mate?” To cut to the chase, I paid him £70 for a £39.95 ticket and ended up a mere nine rows from the front!

I will declare right now that on that night – 8 September 2004, at approximately 7.00pm when I got to my seat – I experienced what can only be described as an epiphany. I said to myself: “what the f—k have you been doing all these years?” So, the next night at Wembley I walked straight up to the first tout I saw and asked him what he’d got. Same price, and this time I was only five rows back!

I kept in touch with that second one, who runs a ticket agency, and he got me even better tickets for Birmingham, Manchester, and Glasgow on that R30 tour. For all subsequent Rush tours (and a few other gigs), I just phoned him up, told him to do the bizzo (first five rows, centre stage if possible, not up the sides), and he came through. He’s only ever let me down once, and that was with a London O2 Rush gig, though he made amends on the next tour at the O2 with second row tickets.

More recently, he got me a ticket for Ritchie Blackmore at the Birmingham Arena. This gig – the only one in the UK – sold out in approximately 15 minutes. The ticket he’d got me made my eyes water when he first told me about it – the ones I’d been looking at had face values of around £60, but this one’s was £185. It turned out to be a VIP ticket with special parking and a meal thrown in. And it was on the second row! All things considered – and I could have simply said “no thanks” – the £360 I paid was an absolute bargain.

The nearly-a-popstar in the BBC article says:

They’re [ticket touts] making money out of real genuine fans of music.

Actually, that’s not correct. For a start off, the official beef is with online ticket sellers who often don’t come up with the goods (it’s the fact that they often don’t which caused the original uproar that this latest moan fest comes from). Furthermore, the vast majority of people who go to see most bands are not “genuine” music fans at all, and they’re certainly not serious fans of the artists in question. Ticket sales are frequently (and, I suspect, deliberately) directly influenced by publicity stunts – of which laying into secondary ticket selling is a good example. Real music fans don’t want to be stuck a quarter of a mile away from the stage at an altitude where breathing is difficult. Sea of iPhones at a gig

They don’t want to be behind several thousand arseholes with their girlfriends on their shoulders, or who stand for a solid hour and a half videoing the entire show on their bloody iPhones (one prick at Rock City a few years ago was doing it with a sodding iPad), or taking selfies and talking loudly the whole time with hardly a glance at the stage. Real music fans don’t get good seats at the expense of someone more deserving, and then leave 20 minutes before the end “to beat the rush”. Slightly more controversial, real music fans don’t take their bloody 7 year old kids to a gig, and then let them keep “going to the toilet” every 15 minutes because – like most 7 year olds – they’ve got the attention spans of gnats, and would much rather be running aimlessly around somewhere unfamiliar getting on everyone else’s nerves than sitting still listening to music for anywhere between 90 minutes and (in the case of Rush) three hours. And real music fans don’t go to gigs solely because they saw the act in question on Later… with Jools Holland and decided they were now hardcore groupies.

The bottom line is simply this. If I – or anyone else – who actually IS a genuine fan is prepared to pay to get around all that shit, why shouldn’t I be allowed to?


Incidentally, when The Darkness were an up-and-coming band the first time around, I was planning on going to see them at Rock City in Nottingham. Then, disaster struck. The Sun did a big spread on them the week before tickets went on sale, and they sold out in under 10 minutes. I’ve seen them a few times since – but I bet very few of the people who bought tickets to that Nottingham show ever have.