Category - ADI

When It Rains, It Pours…

Clock FaceMy evening pupil cancelled his lesson earlier today (stuck at work). Yesterday, another pupil had moved his evening lesson tomorrow into a cancellation slot I’d just acquired earlier in the day. So I sensed a free afternoon today when my two o’clock pupil jumped at the chance to move her lesson to 6pm tomorrow. I needed to go to the bank anyway.

I’d driven about a quarter of a mile when I heard a rumbling sound. It rapidly got louder – and I knew what it was. A puncture. This was at 2.05pm.

I’m in the AA, and there is no way I am getting my hands dirty and stripping my knuckles (as well as destroying my trousers and shirt) arseing about with that tiny socket wrench and scissor jack to get the wheel off. The guy on the phone said they’d have someone there before 3pm – well, that’s OK. I could still go to the bank then nip to Kwik Fit and get the tyre fixed.

I got an almost immediate text telling me the AA man was on his way. He arrived less than 10 minutes later – the wheel was replaced by 2.25pm. I nipped to the bank, then made off for Kwik Fit on Huntingdon Street.

I arrived at 3.05pm. It turned out that one of my other tyres was down to 3mm, so I ended up having to have two of them replaced. But Kwik Fit, too, gave good service, and it was all sorted by 3.50pm.

I wish all breakdowns went like this. No lost lessons, and fixed almost immediately.

Women! (Part III)

I picked a pupil up this afternoon. She ran through her cockpit drill, then we did the summary of the previous lesson. The ensuing minute or two went like this:

Me: OK, drive off when you’re ready.

[Readjusts seat]

Me: What’s the matter?

She: I feel like I’m too close.

Me: OK. When you’re ready, off we go.

[Sets gas, moves left foot a bit, looks all around, handbrake off… nothing happens]

Me: Hold on a moment. Have you forgotten anything?

[Starts to readjust seat again]

Me: No, it’s not your seat. Set the gas and find the bite.

[Sets gas, moves left foot a bit, looks all around…]

Me: Have you got the bite? Try again… go on, raise your toes until you feel it…

[Sets gas, raises foot a bit… raises it some more… then some more… then eventually all the way up… no movement of the car]

Me: Right, so what does that tell you?

[Looks all around her feet and the steering wheel… possibly considering readjusting the seat again]

She: Ummm…

Me: Look at the gear lever.

She: [screams] Oh, I feel so stupid. I was having a blonde moment.

[We’re still in neutral]

She’s actually a decent learner driver, but everyone has these aberrations occasionally. Except men.

Some Driving Instructors…

They might see themselves as being perfect – passing the Part 3 apparently means you become faster than a speeding train, are able to stop a bullet with your testicles (or the female equivalent), are capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound, and so on. But they aren’t.

Wysall Lane

Wysall Lane

Someone should perhaps explain that to the one I saw yesterday on Wysall Lane, in Bunny.

He’d stopped on this narrow country lane just on the brow of a slight hill, and just ahead of a right bend. About 5 metres behind him was a farm field gateway, which he could have used, and which mkost sensible people do. The road is national speed limit (NSL) and people in cars (especially 4x4s – it’s rural, after all) come flying round that corner. The road is barely wide enough for two vehicles unless they move very close to the grass verge (and slow down, which most don’t).

Quite honestly, he’d chosen a very dangerous place to stop and begin lecturing his pupil. Doing it on test would be an immediate fail.

EXCERPT FROM HIGHWAY CODE

242
You MUST NOT leave your vehicle or trailer in a dangerous position or where it causes any unnecessary obstruction of the road.

[Laws RTA 1988, sect 22 & CUR reg 103]

243
DO NOT stop or park:

  • near a school entrance
  • anywhere you would prevent access for Emergency Services
  • at or near a bus or tram stop or taxi rank
  • on the approach to a level crossing/tramway crossing
  • opposite or within 10 metres (32 feet) of a junction, except in an authorised parking space
  • near the brow of a hill or hump bridge
  • opposite a traffic island or (if this would cause an obstruction) another parked vehicle
  • where you would force other traffic to enter a tram lane
  • where the kerb has been lowered to help wheelchair users and powered mobility vehicles
  • in front of an entrance to a property
  • on a bend
  • where you would obstruct cyclists’ use of cycle facilities
    except when forced to do so by stationary traffic.

As the adverts often say – anyone can become a driving instructor. Unfortunately.

Hesitation…?

I saw someone posted this question on one of the forums:

If a pupil is on test and they are unable to exit a junction because the road is just too busy, and nobody lets them out, how long will the examiner allow them to stay there and will they intervene at some point…if so, how?

All the answers centre upon the premise that it really is impossible to get out, and that any attempt to go would be wrong.

They’re right, of course. If you can’t go, you can’t go. Simple as that. But the reality is that there is always a gap or someone prepared to give way in circumstances even remotely approaching the one described here.

On top of that, examiners are testing new drivers – not Lewis Hamilton – so they are likely to offer a little advice without it affecting the outcome of the test.

The instructor should make it clear to pupils going to test that they should not take risks if they are held up because, as I said above, if you can’t go, you can’t go. So don’t try.

EDIT 29/11/2010: As an update to this, I had a pupil fail her test a few weeks ago for pulling out of a junction when a car was coming. This is the junction in question.

Nottingham A60 City Centre

This is on one of the Nottingham City Centre routes. The small slip road has two lanes at the give way line (red and yellow dots). You can just see from the picture that the slip road is at an angle and joins the main one-way road (A60) on a slight bend. This means that if you are in the lane marked by the red dot and steer too sharply in line with the kerb to the right, your vision of traffic coming from your left is impaired.

My pupil did exactly that, and pulled out when a car was coming. The examiner had to use the dual controls to stop her.

You’d think it was a clear-cut situtation. But my pupil has done nothing but go on about how she couldn’t have done anything else. I’m not making this up, but her argument is:

But if I couldn’t see, what choice did I have but to go? The examiner’s head was in the way. I didn’t want to get a fault for hesitating.

She will not accept that she was wrong, and is trying to find convoluted reasons to support her case.

My explanation to her is simple:

You can always see if you try hard enough. If you can’t see, you don’t go. It’s that simple. If the examiners head is in the way, ask him to move it. Just going when you can’t see is like playing Russian Roulette.

One lesson to be learned is that you don’t put yourself in that situation in the first place. Plan ahead.

And another one is that if it’s a choice between a minor hesitation fault and a serious collision situation, you take the safer option. You’ve got kids: are you going to put them at risk when you’re driving around with them screaming in the back?

Women!

I picked a pupil up for a lesson yesterday at 11am. She got in the car, rushed through the cockpit drill, then started to fiddle with her hair in the mirror. The ensuing – and totally politically incorrect – exchange went like this:

Me: Are you finished?

She: What?

Me: Messing with your hair.

She: I’ve just got up. I look like a tramp.

Me: No you don’t. You’re just doing that thing women do.

She: Men do it as well.

Me: No we don’t.

She: Yes they do. I’ve seen them.

Me: Well, not real men. Anyway, when no one’s looking we just pick our noses in the car.

She: OK, I’ll give you that one.

You watch next time you pull up behind a woman at traffic lights. You can virtually guarantee that you’ll see her lean across and start tousling her hair.

Another thing worth watching for: when you pull up behind someone who has their rear view mirror adjusted properly, you can see their eyes (or the top of their head if they are trying to avoid making eye contact because they just cut you up and they know that you are waiting to use International Drivers’ Sign Language or Exaggerated Lip Exercises at them).

Often, if the driver is female, you’ll notice that the mirror shows a slightly lower part of her anatomy. That’s because she’s got it adjusted so she can see herself in it.

Honest. It’s true!

Get A Life!

They never give up, do they? I saw this post on a forum:

Since when has it been compulsory to give the pupils email address when filling in the booking form. I’ve never done until tonight. When did we recieve notification it was going to be compulsory.

Another money saving excercise no doubt.

A deliberate attempt to start another whinefest about the DSA. But if this “expert” had bothered to read the DSA information about this – circulated back in June – he wouldn’t have needed to try and show how clever he is and have it backfire on him:

Practical test online booking and appointment confirmations

From now, you’ll need to provide a contact email address when you book or change your practical test online to receive your booking confirmation.

Booking confirmations for tests will no longer be posted out to you.

If you’re an approved driving instructor (ADI) and are booking a test on behalf of your customer, you’ll need to consider which email address you’d like the confirmation to go to.

No need to bring appointment confirmation

You’re no longer required to bring your appointment confirmation to the test centre on the day of your practical test.

You must still bring the following items – if you don’t, the test may not go ahead and you may lose your fee:

  • an appropriately insured and licensed vehicle, displaying L-plates (except for taxi and Approved Driving Instructor (ADI) part two tests), that is suitable for the purpose of the test
  • the appropriate theory test pass certificate (or confirmation) if you are not exempt; for lorry or bus theory tests, you’ll need to bring both your multiple choice and hazard perception pass letters or your overall theory test pass certificate letter
  • both parts of your photo card licence – if you don’t take both parts of your licence, your test will not take place and you’ll lose your fee
  • if you have an old-style paper licence, you must take your signed driver licence and a valid passport – no other form of photographic identification will be accepted
  • for both modules of the motorcycle test you must present your compulsory basic training certificate (CBT)
  • for module two of the motorcycle test you must present your motorcycle module one test pass certificate

There’s no change to theory test bookings and theory test requirements.

Pretty clear, isn’t it? But I guess it must be wrong to save money (and trees) by not sending out letters for online bookings when there is a confirmation on screen, and now an email confirmation, sent anyway.

What Dead Badger?

Badger Stops Line Painting

Badger Stops Line Painting

I saw this story in the Salisbury Journal – a gang of chimps employed by the Hampshire Council were painting white lines on a road but when they came to a dead badger, instead of removing it they just stopped painting and started again on the other side.

As you might expect from a bunch of unionized and copiously bureaucratized council neanderthals, the story is far more complex than you might imagine, and it is perfectly sensible and right that the badger should be left where it is and the lines not painted – no matter how much extra it will cost to send the primates out again to finish the job.

Mel Kendal, Hampshire County Council executive member for the environment, said: “We would usually liaise with our colleagues at the district council, who dispose of animal carcasses on the highways, to ensure the badger was removed before the white line-painting crew did this stretch of road.

“This appears not to have happened in this case and the white line-painting crew did what they thought was best until arrangements could be made to dispose of the carcass.

“These arrangements have now been made and the gap in the white lines will be filled in, at no extra cost to the council tax-payer.”

Mmmm. I wonder how this will not cost the tax-payer? Any money the council wastes – sorry, spends – is covered by the tax-payer one way or another, so quite how they think they can gloss over that is anyone’s guess. Maybe having to send the crew out again (and closing the roads to do it) will come out of Mel Kendal’s wages?

I particularly like the part about how the “crew did what they thought was best”. Obviously, thinking isn’t the crew’s biggest strength, and it is clear that Hampshire County Council also think that, too (though they can’t say it, of course).

Wheel Clamping At Colwick: Update

Clamped Learner Car

Clamped Learner Car

I posted a few weeks ago about the wheel clamping problem which has started near the Colwick Test Centre. The situation is quite confusing as far as motives and honesty go.

You see, City Estates wrote to the DSA to advise them that the “landlord” of the industrial park had introduced wheel clamping for “health & safety reasons”. When you then look up City Estates’ website, you realise that the “landlord” is… City Estates. They glibly refer to “parking laws” – which is gobbledegook, since this is a private estate with private and misleading rules of its own.

Anyway, the owner of the clamped car in the picture has contacted me. He says:

…The car you have the picture of was mine. It cost me £140.00 to get the F****** thing off…

…I was showing a client the test centre when I got clamped. I had even made sure that we arrived 10 mins after test time to give anyone doing bay park on test the time to leave the area. The van that was carrying the clamps was a builders van he even had ladders on the roof. When I first saw the van my first impression was he was fly-tipping. He told me that the owners of the industrial estate were employing the company. And that the clamping stopped at the target cafe. BUT I have noticed in the last few days that the clamping signs now extend further down the road.

The signs are black and white that I could produce on my computer.

Most are also above eye level or missing.

It’s worth pointing out that in the last couple of weeks I have seen overseas lorries parking overnight in many of the usual places (curtains drawn, etc.). Not a sign of a clamper.

And the “landlords” don’t seem too eager to do anything about the idiots who work down the far end near the gravel pit and go flying up and down that road at 70mph plus (two weeks ago, some dickheads in a grey uber-pratmobile – a Subaru or Mitsubishi – were using it as a drag strip and they were easily doing 90mph).

Is it double standards? Are they just targeting driving school cars? It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

Can I Fail For Rolling Back?

I’ve had several people find the blog on the search term “can I fail my driving test for rolling back?”

The short answer is yes, you can fail for rolling back – but not automatically. It all depends on how far you roll, the circumstances, and who else is around. For example:

  • if you roll back a few centimetres you’re unlikely to fail
  • if you roll back a few centimetres and there is a pedestrian walking behind you, you’re more likely to fail
  • if you roll back significantly – and by that I am thinking of ¼ metre or more – you could very easily fail
  • if you do it every time you try to move away you could very easily fail

It all comes down to the examiner’s interpretation of the actual situation, so it’s impossible to state what will and will not result in a fail.

Take a look at the post Your Driving Test Report Explained. Under the section on Moving Off, it says:

Do not allow the vehicle to roll back.

It’s as simple as that, so don’t do it and you won’t have anything to worry about! Any roll back is wrong, but examiners are usually reasonable and don’t always fail people for a single minor fault. In most cases a small backward roll of a few centimetres is not even recorded, and is usually a minor issue at most on your test. However, at some point a “small” roll becomes a “moderate” one, and the precise point at which that change occurs is easily influenced by pedestrians walking behind you. You could hurt them if you rolled into them, and the examiner will note that.

You need to learn to look around, assess situations, and use the handbrake when it is necessary. As I said above, the ideal scenario is that you move off without rolling back at all.

There is no reason why you should be worried about it on your test. It isn’t rocket science to be able to move off properly on a hill or gradient rather than worrying about being allowed to get away with doing it badly.

One final thing: although some examiners might (usually) accept a small roll, what is acceptable to one might not be acceptable to another. And the flip-side to that is that what you see as  “small” roll might be seen as a bigger one by the examiner – and the examiner’s decision is final.

Can I fail if I roll back on my driving test?

Yes. It isn’t a guaranteed fail, but if you roll back too much – or if someone is behind you when you do it – it can be. Don’t do it and you won’t have anything to worry about. Make sure you can find the bite reliably and it is much less likely to happen.

How much do I have to roll back to fail my test?

You shouldn’t roll back at all. However, examiners are usually very reasonable over small amounts of roll back, so stay calm and deal with it properly. If you begin to roll back, apply the foot brake and, if necessary, the handbrake. Then try again to move off properly. There is no set distance that the examiner is working to, and it all depends on the situation at the time, and how you deal with it. It also depends on how much you do it, who or what is behind you, and how often it happens – rolling back every time you move off is asking for trouble. For example, one of my pupils forgot to put the car in gear when asked to drive off right at the start of his test in the test centre car park. The car park is on an incline, and he rolled back almost a metre. The examiner marked it as a driver fault because she knew he was nervous. If he’d have done that out on the road with cars behind, though, it would almost certainly have been a serious fault.

Why did I roll back?

You didn’t have enough bite. That can occur if you don’t lift the clutch pedal far enough, or if you aren’t in gear in the first place. Make sure you check that you have the correct gear selected before trying to move off again.

What should I do if I roll back?

Stop the car rolling immediately by finding the bite or by applying the foot brake and – if necessary – the handbrake. Restart the engine if you stalled, check that you have the correct gear selected, then set the gas and find the biting point. Make sure you know how to find the bite.

Why is rolling back wrong?

If you roll back, then you’re not in control of the car. Not being in control is enough to get you a serious fault on your driving test. In reality, a very small roll back is likely to go unmarked on the test, though if it happens repeatedly or at the wrong time, it may get picked up.

The problem is that the car could weigh in the region of 2 tonnes, and if that sort of weight pushes against the knee of, say, a pedestrian walking behind you, it could cripple them. If it were a child, it might easily kill them. Of course, many people do roll back a little quite frequently by a few centimetres. Some people roll back a long way, though, and since I started driving many moons ago I’ve had people roll back into me more than once – do that on your test, and it is a deserved fail. These days, if someone is rolling towards me – and I keep my distance – I sound my horn to let them know I’m there.

If you start to roll back, use the brake – don’t sit there with the stunned rabbit-in-the-headlights glaze. Do something to stop it, then figure out quickly why it happened before trying to move off again.

What if I hit someone when I roll back?

I’ve noticed a small blip in traffic to this article from a cycling website, where a driver rolled back into a cyclist (no harm done to either party). The cycling fraternity viewpoint is that the motorist was absolutely in the wrong. The motorist appears to have been of the opinion that the cyclist was in the wrong.

Actually, they both were to some extent. Fortunately, no one was hurt, so it might best serve as a lesson to be learned. Motorists shouldn’t roll back – but in the real world, some do. Cyclists shouldn’t put themselves in a position where they are more likely to get hurt if it happens – but in the real world, some do. Sure, the motorist will most probably be the one who is prosecuted if someone is hurt – and in this case, the motorist appears to have been a complete prat anyway – but you need your head looking at if you think that that would somehow compensate for having both your legs crushed along with your bike.