Archive - March 2013

HTC One Superphone

The HTC One SmartphoneI’ve got mine on pre-order from Amazon. This really is The One that I’ve been waiting for!

My last three or four phones have all been HTCs, and I have never had even the slightest cause for complaint. However, I am on Orange pay-monthly, and the annoying thing about that is that your contract runs independently of any new phones being introduced. As a result, if you upgrade you can bet your life that a month later a new and much-improved model will be released, so you’re stuck with 18-months or more of contract to deal with.

The last two upgrades I knew which phone I wanted – it had been sitting there smiling at me as the months ticked away to the point where I could renew without having to buy myself out of contract. Then, as soon as I’d got it, out came a better one soon after.

Since December last year I’ve been eyeing up 4G under the mistaken impression that as an Orange customer I would be allowed to skip contracts and move to EE. At that time, though, I didn’t like any of the phones on offer. Hell will have to freeze over before I buy any Apple hardware, and the problem with most current smartphones is that they’re trying too hard to be almost-but-not-quite tablets. They look ridiculous (anyone who holds one of those up in front of me at a gig is going to get a mouthful). Most are bigger than anything I have owned since 1994.

They’re just too bloody big.

But I’d been aware of this new HTC for a while. It’s nowhere near as big as, say, a Samsung, yet it is bigger than a standard smartphone. When it became available on EE I decided the time was right to make the jump. The HTC One has been getting the most incredible reviews – the only bad one I’ve seen is from iFixit, who complain that you can’t take it apart yourself to tinker with the electronics (an absolutely pointless exercise for 99.999% of people who own a smartphone). But all other reviews have been through the roof.

A word about Orange, here, who I’ve been with since around 1994. They merged with T-Mobile a while back, and this was pretty confusing since both brands remained separate. All Orange and T-Mobile customers had access to the same expanded infrastructure, and your phone might show either “Orange” or “T-Mobile” depending on which part of the network it had picked up in any given location. But things got a whole lot worse when the EE brand was introduced with 4G last year.

We were told in a letter that the company was rebranding to become “EE”, and when you turned on your phone it would say EE instead of Orange or T-Mobile. What happens now is that when you call 150 on your “Orange” EE phone, they are still branded as Orange, and you have a bloody nightmare conversation every time when they ask “is this an EE number?” The correct answer would appear to be “yes” (your phone says it is on the EE network), but it turns out that the proper answer is actually “no” unless you’re already on 4G! And no one explains this when they ask. To add to the confusion, there is still an Orange website, but now it has confusing outlinks to EE’s own website website for some Q&A or FAQs. And since Orange’s minimalist livery in black, white, and orange is light years away from EE’s gaudy cyan and yellow colour scheme, the overall effect is amateurish, nauseating… and damned confusing.

To cut a long story short, I “upgraded” to 4G and the HTC One, having been assured by the sales guy that I could switch and keep my own number. This turned out to be complete bollocks, as when I got the new phone and enabled it my old one didn’t deactivate. After some phone calls, in which the people at EE clearly hadn’t got a clue, it turned out that the idiots had given me a new number. And the reason for that was that I couldn’t switch to 4G after all unless I bought out my contract. So much for nearly 20 years of loyal custom.

Of course, I did have another option. I was told I could have had two contracts side-by-side. What the hell planet are these idiots on?

I should point out here that ever since I joined Orange in 1994 (they were Hutchison Telecom back then) every upgrade, every insurance replacement, and almost anything else has gone through smoothly and promptly. Admittedly, I’ve argued with them before about offering new phones and upgrades to non-Orange customers for less than it costs existing customers to upgrade, but this was appalling customer service right from the off.

In the short time I had the EE upgrade in my hands, transferring all my contacts and text messages from my old HTC Sensation XE was simple with the transfer tool installed on the One. The phone was beautiful – and extremely fast.

But the only option was to return the phone – there was no way I was going to run two numbers side-by-side or pay for two contracts.

The one major learning point here for both me and EE is that never – not in a million years – will I ever move to 4G through EE. And when my contract with Orange-or-whatever-they-are-now is up next year, and even if I choose not to go with 4G at that time, I don’t know if I am going to remain with them. The whole organisation is a shambles now.

Back to the phone, though, it’s made out of a single piece of aluminium and it feels fantastic in your hand. The screen is incredible, and at 4.5” it is just the right size. It’s got a quad-core Snapdragon processor and outperforms everything else on the market – even the Galaxy S4. I didn’t get to try it out much further before I sent it back, but it is seriously a top-end device. All I have to do now is wait until it is in stock with Amazon – it was supposed to be released today but this has been put back by HTC. The saving grace is that the phone will be unlocked and there will be no restrictions placed on it by Orange or anyone else.

And for once, I am in on the ground floor. A brand new phone at the time of release, and one which is likely to be top-end for at least the next 12 months.

Update: I have the unlocked phone now!

The Learner And The Lost Rabbit

When news is slow you have to start scraping the barrel a bit. This seems to be what happened in Scotland with this report.

Jerry - Lost RabbitIt came in on the newsfeed because it contains the terms “pupil” and “driving instructor”, and so would have been sent to recipients worldwide. This hot-off-the-press story reveals how a driving instructor and her pupil rescued a rabbit (or “bunny wabbit”, as I suspect it may have been translated at the time) that was apparently wandering towards a road. The Scottish  SPCA is looking for the owner.

And that’s the complete story. The rabbit wasn’t suspected of money-laundering or crowd violence at football matches or anything. He wasn’t on the police most-wanted list. There is nothing else. But it seems to have been justification for sending a paparazzi round to the lock-up he was being held at.

Mind you, the photo cracked me up for some reason. I think it was a combination of his floppy ears, his expression – and the fact that they actually sent someone to get his picture (even if he IS cute). His name is Jerry, if you’re interested.

Appeal On Behalf Of Manchester Evening News – ADI Opinions Sought

Manchester Evening News is eager to speak with any driving instructors who teach in and around Manchester, and who might be able to comment on why there has been a significant rise in the number of people taking tests using interpreters in the area since 2011, and the current consultation paper on the issue of removing interpreters altogether.

[Contact details now removed]

The final article is here on the MEN website.

Driving Examiner Strike: 5 April 2013

An email alert from the DSA urges candidates to attend tests as normal in spite of the pending strike action of 5 April.

Remember that a previous strike was called off, so anyone who cancelled their test did so needlessly. And the last strike passed totally unnoticed at my test centre – all examiners were working normally.

Not all examiners are stupid enough to be members of PCS. Of those that are, they’re not all THAT stupid that they get involved in strike action. Therefore, many tests will go ahead normally.

Audi And Vauxhall Vectra Drivers Exposed

Very old post. But still completely relevant – if not more so.

A reader sent me this link to an article in the Daily Mail. It identifies Audi drivers as the worst in the country at parking (it forgot to include “at driving” too, but I guess that there’s no point stating the obvious).

Anyone who has been following this blog (or the monthly ADI News version) will know that I don’t have much time for Audi drivers. As long ago as 2008 I had begun to identify them as an exclusive bunch, i.e. exclusively a bunch of prats. When we had the first white stuff back in January this year there was an article in the newspapers about a jackass in an Audi who had deemed it “amusing” to drive at 70mph in thick snow, having cleared a tiny 8-inch porthole to look out of, and with almost a foot of the stuff on his car covering all the lights and other windows. Stories like this keep the fires well stoked.

It comes as no surprise to learn that Audis (and therefore their drivers) have been officially identified as the worst parkers by a mile.

There are two obvious reasons for this, which the news story doesn’t elaborate on. Firstly, the typical Audi driver is an arrogant pillock who doesn’t give a toss about anyone else. Secondly – and aided immeasurably by that first thing – the typical Audi driver is also devoid of any tangible driving skills.

Audis are the car of choice for the average male chav if he can afford one. Immediately, therefore, you have a mind-set whose sole purpose is to go faster than everyone else, with no regard for speed limits, and yet with almost no experience with which to be able to read normal road situations, let alone read them at speed.

One of the things I cover on lessons is what signs to look for when reading the road ahead. Dealing with buses, for example, would include subtle signs like:

  • has the bus only just stopped?
  • has it been there since it came into view?
  • is it still signalling left?
  • have the brake lights just come on?
  • is it signalling right?
  • are the hazard lights on?
  • are there people getting on or off?
  • how many?
  • is someone with a pushchair getting on or off?
  • what time of day is it?
  • how many times has the bus stopped so far?
  • and so on

By considering these sorts of things it can help drivers decide whether to go past the bus or not. And it’s the same when dealing with other road users. Questions like: does the driver in front look elderly? Is the driver messing around with something on his passenger seat? And my favourite: is it an Audi?

That’s because you can virtually guarantee that NO Audi will stay behind you – even on a single carriageway, and even if you’re driving at the speed limit. On multi-lanes, if you make the mistake of getting into the outside lane – otherwise known as the Audi lane – then you’re going to get either tailgated until you move, or overtaken on the inside. I think Audi must write this sort of behaviour into the vehicle handbook, or make it a condition of owning one.

DSA: ADI Check Test To Be Replaced From April 2014

An email alert from the DSA announces that from April next year, the Check Test will be changing to operate to the guidelines in the National Standard For Driver And Rider Training document. The new system will also require that people conduct a real lesson with a real pupil – no role play option.

As you can imagine, out in Instructor Land this has set the cat among the pigeons – and that’s before they’ve even cottoned on to the fact that this is where client-centred learning (CCL) comes into it. I’m also dying to see how those instructors who miraculously cannot conjure up a pupil to coincide with their Check Test (and yet who are always apparently fully booked in between times) get round the “no role-play” issue.

Test Pass: 25/3/2013

TickWell done Jacob, who passed today first time with just 4 driver faults. He was very happy because he is planning on emigrating and having a licence is vital to his future plans.

He was very nervous, though. I’ve never had anyone give me an early morning wake-up call just to have an argument about what documents he needed to take with him (particularly seeing as I’d told him all this over the last few weeks, and last night). And the pre-test drive is not a good time to start questioning things like road signs!

But he’s been a great pupil – that’s why we can laugh at things like this! And it keeps my pass rate for the year at 70%. In fact, only one pupil this year out of all those going to test has still to pass.

Mixed Messages, Or What? New Book Reckons You Can Learn To Drive In 24 Hours

This came in on the newsfeeds. A driving instructor has published a book which claims to teach people to drive in 24 hours.

In the article, the most bizarre list of contradictory nonsense is put forward, with the instructor Driving for Dummies - mocked up cover, not the one for the actual bookin question claiming to take a “totally different approach” to learning to drive. He says that he “listens to his pupils” and “cut[s] out red tape”. He claims that he lets them know from day one that he “is their friend, not their superior”. And it’s incredible that he’s stayed in business for so long if he’s always followed the mantra about them paying as little as possible.

I love it when someone takes something that is really simple in terms of the skills needed – like learning to drive – and then tries to take “a totally different approach” to teaching it. It’s like wanting to travel from London to Scotland – most people would foolishly believe that this involves driving North, but then some comedian like this guy comes along and that you should drive South instead! It’s just a pointless complication.

The reality is that it doesn’t matter how much of a “friend” you think you are to your pupils, you are still taking money off them and providing a service – and that’s above and beyond the fact that there is usually a 30+ year difference in ages. The average youngster doesn’t consider “old” friends to be very cool at all.

Instructors have business relationships and not “friendships” with their pupils. If a cheaper deal comes along, most of them will be off like a cat in a rainstorm. No amount of perceived “friendship” will hold on to them.

Of all the people I’ve ever taught, I remain in regular contact with just one of them (even though he’s a Chelsea supporter). I’ve lost count of the number of my ex-pupils who have seen me in the street over the years, or in the local supermarket, and who have tried to pretend they haven’t if they’re with their mates (one of them even did it while I was still teaching her). It’s the immature mind-set of most teenagers, and anyone who thinks that they’re a genuine “friend” is just deluding themselves.

You can learn all there is to know about driving in a few hours, just like you can learn all there is to know about playing the guitar by reading a book in a day. But learning how to drive properly – or play guitar – takes longer. MUCH longer.

Driving instruction is about teaching people what to do, and how to do it properly through practice. By definition, practice results in experience, and experience takes time. Certainly more than 24 hours.

If you cut out the practice, you’re putting people on the road before they are ready. But maybe this is what this instructor means by “cut[ting] out red tape”.

Edit: I’ve noticed a lot of people finding this page having searched for “driving for dummies”. Come on, people! Even if there was a book with that title it wouldn’t help you. I made that image above myself as a joke.

The only book that comes close is Driving: The Essential Skills. But don’t think that it will teach you how to do the basics – the only way to learn that is to practice in a real car.

DSA: New Rules Concerning Epilepsy

An email alert from the DSA notes that from 8 March 2013, people who have only had epileptic seizures while asleep could be considered for a licence after only 1 year instead of the previous 3 years.

Similarly, those whose seizures have not affected consciousness appear to be able to apply for a licence while they are still having these seizures.

I’m not sure what the reasoning is. If it’s medical then I will accept it. Anything else and I’ll have reservations.

DSA Phone Service Changes

An email alert from the DSA says that from 2 April 2013, phone lines for booking tests will only be Computer Mouseavailable between 8am and 12pm (instead of the current 8am until 4pm). This is in line with the falling numbers of people booking via telephone.

Booking online is by far the easiest way. You can book your theory test and practical test on the DSA’s site at GOV.UK.

There are still a bunch of radical ADIs who oppose this on the grounds that their “older” pupils might not have access to, or be familiar with, the internet. Quite frankly, those people are likely to have issues with any booking system.

We’ve come a long way since Victorian times. It’s a shame that some people still want to stay firmly embedded in the past, though. The majority of people can easily book via the internet. Those who can’t will be able to use their ADIs to book it for them. There isn’t a problem unless you look for one.