I wrote about candidates for the 2014 Darwin Awards back in January, following several deaths, near-deaths, and plain stupid behaviour during the bad weather. As of October, I think Peter Shaw – drug dealer – has virtually clinched the trophy with nearly three months of the year left.
Shaw, who comes from Nottingham (it doesn’t say what part, but it would be a very short shortlist of likely estates), was photographed by a friend handling and preparing large quantities of drugs. The story also doesn’t say how the police got hold of these photos, but they did find Shaw in possession. He was jailed for three years.
Det Con Steve Fenyn said Shaw’s conviction was helped by his ego after he was “caught in the act on camera”.
You’ve got to be from the lowest depths of the bottom sewer of society to have any sort of “ego” on something like this. I think it might have had a lot more to do with Shaw’s abnormal number of chromosomes, which would have been passed on to him by whoever and whatever his parents were. I mean, he can’t even be a criminal properly!
It’s been a while, but there has been a clutch of new mega-annoying adverts recently – mostly on the radio. As I’ve mentioned before, I listen to Planet Rock a lot. For anyone who might still be confused by that, they play rock music.
Volkswagen Commercial Vehicles
It begins with some bloke shouting over the noise of a busy factory, then cuts to what seems like 10 minutes of brain-numbing whispering by some stupid woman. To me, it’s like having a screwdriver rammed in each ear repeatedly. Thank God for the mute button.
KFC
A nasal London-accented street poet rattles on, and on, and on, and on… Ian Wright can get away with this kind of accent (even then, only just), but not this prat. KFC seems to have got it into their heads that their typical target customers are hoodies and chavs.
Co-op Funeral Care
Look, when I’m listening to the radio I want to be cheered up. After being pissed off in turn by Volkswagen and then KFC, absolutely the last thing I want to hear is about how someone’s dad was a crap accordion player before being told he sorted out his own funeral before he died. It’s depressing, and it isn’t going to get me anywhere near Co-op Funeral Care either now or in the future.
Macmillan
And after that, I don’t want to hear about bloody cancer, either. That’s even more depressing. There’s a time and a place for these things, but every sodding commercial break on Planet Rock is not it.
Heinz Soup (Again)
I’ve mentioned Heinz before, but their ad with that grotesque woman coming in out of the cold, having a bath, dressing like Ugly Betty, then getting tomato soup all over her lips has resurfaced. Where? On Angry Birds of all places. There is no escape from these damned things.
An email from the DVSA advises candidates to attend tests as usual. This is because not all examiners are stupid enough to be members of PCS (the union involved), and of those that are, they’re not all so stupid that they will automatically go on strike anyway. However, like last time – if you believe the media – the further north you live, the more likely you are to find examiners who are stupid enough to strike (and don’t blame me for saying it: that’s just the way it is).
The action is due to take place on Wednesday, 15 October 2014. Theory tests aren’t affected – just practical driving tests.
Oh, and it is examiners who are striking, not instructors (someone found the blog using that search criterion)!
This article was originally published in December 2013, and the changes are now in effect. Please look at the update at the bottom of the article for information on how to pay by direct debit.
From 1 October 2014, tax discs will no longer be issued or be required to be displayed on vehicles. Also from that date, it will be possible to pay your road tax annually, every six months, or monthly by direct debit.
There is more information available here. It’s also been covered in much of today’s media. The changes do not negatively impact motorists in any way – the surcharge for paying six-monthly or monthly, for example, will actually be half of what it currently is when you pay six-monthly.
The tax disc first appeared in 1921. According to the article, over 99% of motorists pay their road tax on time.
The only question I would have is what happens if someone’s monthly direct debit is refused? Are they then untaxed? Since enforcement is by ANPR (Automatic Number Plate Readers/Recognition) systems there could be a rise in the numbers of those being stopped for having no tax – yet they might not be aware that they aren’t taxed.
NOTE: As a reader has pointed out, the term “road tax” is technically a misnomer, and the correct term is “vehicle tax” or “vehicle excise duty”. However, I should point out myself that the term “road tax” is almost universal, even to the point of being in the OED. You can read more about the debate surrounding the term on Wikipedia.
A lot of people are finding the blog on search terms associated with “how do I pay by direct debit?” The short answer is that I don’t know – not in detail, anyway. My own tax is paid automatically by my lease agent, so I don’t have to sort it out myself.
However, my understanding is that if you go to a Post Office to renew your tax, you can sign up for direct debit there any time after 5 October 2014. From 1 November 2014 you will also have that option if you renew online. You will be able to pay annually, biannually (every six months), or monthly. More information is given on the GOV.UK website here.
This article was first published in September 2014 when the recall first appeared in the media, and before DVSA had responded. Note the two updates at the bottom of this article. The recall date has now been extended back to February 2014.
No word from the DVSA yet (see addendum below), but Vauxhall has said that any Corsa or Adam registered since May 2014should not be driven until it has been inspected and repaired if necessary.
Apparently, a component in the steering system “falls below Vauxhall’s quality standards”. You can interpret that any way you want, but what it really means is that a faulty part has been used. From tomorrow (Saturday, 27 September 2014) – and they probably mean sometime during the day, and not at 1 minute after midnight – you will be able to check to see if your vehicle is one of those affected by going to Vauxhall’s website and clicking the relevant link. In the meantime, their advice is not to drive it.
It is likely that DVSA will refuse to conduct driving tests in affected vehicles without proof of inspection and/or appropriate remedial work. Any ADI conducting lessons needs to be aware of the interim warning not to drive the car.
DVSA has issued the anticipated response to the recall notice as of Monday 29 September 2014, which can be read here. In a nutshell, they say:
If your vehicle is affected, you won’t be able to take it on test without written proof that the vehicle has been checked by the manufacturer and remedial work carried out if needed.
DVSA examiners will accept documents from the vehicle manufacturer or the manufacturer’s appointed representative or dealership.
They also point out that any tests taking place within the next 5 working days can be cancelled and rearranged free of charge. Outside of that, normal rules apply.
There is an update from the DVSA here (which was updated a few hours later to clarify the cut-off point for cancellations). The original notice mentioned above referred to cars registered from May 2014. This appears to have been extended backwards to February 2014. So Corsas and Adams registered from February this year – not just from May. The source information can be seen here.
DVSA is still offering a grace period if you need to cancel and rearrange.
Well done Tony, who passed first time today with just 5 driver faults. He holds the record for being my longest-serving pupil – more than four years since his first lesson.
Actually, I didn’t hear from him for three and a half years somewhere in the middle of that because of work and money issues, so it’s not as bad as it sounds.
Mind you, that car he bought when he first started lessons hasn’t been moved off his driveway in the intervening period, so I think his bank balance is in for a bit of a surprise when it meets the service bill!
He’s been fun to teach and is a very competent driver.
Cameras fitted for insurance purposes will be allowed providing they:
are external facing and do not film the inside of the vehicle
do not record audio from inside the vehicle
DVSA will under no circumstances accept, comment on, or review audio or video footage provided by a test candidate or third party to facilitate a challenge to the conduct of any theory or practical test or its result. Any footage received in connection with an allegation of criminal activity or intent will be referred to the police.
I notice that certain individuals are claiming that this is evidence of the DVSA back-pedalling. It isn’t. You couldn’t record tests before and you can’t record them now. Nor would any attempt to retrospectively influence a test decision be given any consideration by the DVSA. Anyone stupid enough to try and take things that far would have to go through the courts using private and very expensive routes. Mind you, some people are that stupid.
It should also be noted that DVSA has stated:
If an examiner believes a test is being filmed they will ask the candidate to switch off the camera, if it can’t be switched off or the candidate refuses, the examiner will terminate the test.
Personally, I think DVSA is being too lenient and has merely bowed to pressure from the National Clown Associations. On the other hand, for all practical purposes DVSA has made no real concessions, yet the Associations appear to be well chuffed with their “victory”.
I just hope DVSA realises how far some of the Chief Clowns might be prepared to go if they get hold of video footage of contested tests from any angle.
Incidentally, in 2016 I began using a camera which turns on automatically as soon as the engine starts unless I remove it. I have audio disabled on it, and I have clarified with several examiners that it is not intended to scrutinise them.
It proved its worth a few weeks ago when a pupil failed her test and didn’t know where it had happened (as I often point out, if they knew what they’d done and where they’d done it, they probably wouldn’t have done it to start with). The examiner told me where, and all I had to do was fast forward to the location and send her a link to the HD footage I placed online. It showed her merrily crossing over two lanes on a roundabout – which she wasn’t aware of having done.
Unlike many other ADIs with cameras, I did not for one moment consider that the examiner had made a mistake. If the examiner said she did it, she did it. The footage showed her where.
I saw this on the morning news and it gave me a few unpleasant flashbacks – to work, not school!
Ofsted has reported that persistent low-level classroom disruption is damaging pupils’ learning and long-term prospects. Ofsted says that leadership and authority is lacking, so the problem isn’t being addressed. As you’d probably expect, the namby pamby head teachers don’t agree. The BBC article lists the following as examples of disruptive behaviour:
Disturbing other children (38%)
Calling out (35%)
Not getting on with work (31%)
Fidgeting or fiddling with equipment (23%)
Not having the correct equipment (19%)
Purposely making noise to gain attention (19%)
Answering back or questioning instructions (14%)
Using mobile devices (11%)
Swinging on chairs (11%)
The morning news showed several dramatized examples, one of which really triggered the unpleasant flashbacks for me. You see, you don’t need to be a teenager to be distracted by people with issues.
In the final years of my employment in the rat race, I was plagued by people who were socially deficient. We had been forced to adopt an open-plan office arrangement – successively losing a dedicated office, then 5 foot cubicle walls, and finally ending up with secretarial walls that barely extended above desk level. At the time I left, they hadn’t quite got to the stage of mandatory sharing of underwear and bodily fluids, but that’s the direction it seemed to be heading.
On my island of four desks, I had my boss to my left. He had this habit of licking out his coffee mug (inside and out) complete with slurping every time he had a drink. To my right was this guy who made sandwiches at his desk, and he would get butter all over his keyboard, mouse (which I was responsible for maintaining), and workstation area. One time there was fish roe – the cheap caviar kind – all over it as well.
He was not computer literate and was a one-finger typist. The combination of sticking keys and his inept typing literally shook the desk group every time he hit a key, and God help you when he decided to delete a block of text… backspace, backspace, backspace, backspace… It was like an earthquake.
He used to eat vegetables from his father’s allotment – one whole lettuce, one whole bell pepper, one whole parsnip, etc. at a time – as though they were fruits. He would bite ravenously into oranges, apples, and pomegranates. The juice was everywhere. One time he apparently climbed into his car pooler’s car one morning with an opened tin of pilchards for putting on sandwiches later that day.
Then, directly opposite me, was a hummer. It took me months to figure out where the annoying background noise was coming from, but I eventually nailed it. It turned out that when he was at his workstation he just hummed all the time. An annoying, low-pitched, almost constant hum.
On a neighbouring desk island another colleague was clumsy and heavy-handed. She was only happy when she wasn’t getting her hands dirty, and therefore spent a lot of time in and out of stationery cupboards and drawers. It was slam-bang-slam-bang whenever was around. She knew it annoyed me and would simper “sorry, Fergus” every time she did it or heard me tut.
About the same distance away, but in a totally separate department (it was open-plan, remember) on another desk group, there was a buyer who conducted every single phone call on full-volume speakerphone. She listened to all her voicemails using it, and if she called someone (which buyers do a lot) she would similarly use the speakerphone while she rummaged loudly in cupboards waiting for someone to answer. When they didn’t (which people who buyers call tend to also do a lot) she would just let it ring and ring until it cut off, and then redial. She’d do this almost constantly when she was at her desk. When she had to go out for a meeting, she doused herself in that cheap Impulse deodorant, which floated around the office via the air-handling system for an hour or more.
So I can fully understand how bad behaviour in the classroom can have a detrimental effect on the education of children. It’s just a shame that no one can take the problem seriously in the workplace. None of my ineffectual and incompetent managers would.
Mine’s already on pre-order from the Rush Backstage Club. There will be an R40 boxed set released in November, featuring over two hours of unseen footage and a couple of never-before heard songs from the early days.
I am convinced this is a precursor to the announcement of an R40 world tour in 2015.
This story has been all over the news today. The iPhone 6 was only released last week, but there are numerous reports coming in of the phone bending when it is in people’s pockets.
TechRadar appears to be trying to skim over the issue, but they do have a point when they say that withstanding someone’s fat arse on top of it while crammed into a back pocket isn’t something that you will find on the spec sheet.
A few months ago one of my pupils got an HTC One M8 – one of the sexiest phones on the market. I’ve got one, and I’ve treated the screen with a special liquid coating to protect it. My phone is in a luxury leather case, and I have it on a lanyard and only ever keep it round my neck or in a breast pocket. My pupil, on the other hand, kept his uncased and stuffed in his pocket with his keys and loose change!
Most of my younger pupils have iPhones. They are a status symbol, of course, although they are also vastly inferior to an increasing number of other phones on the market today (the HTC One M8 included). But status symbol or not, the physical condition of most of the phones I see is unbelievable. They have cracked and scratched screens as a result of being shoved into tight trouser pockets – and because of being frequently dropped.
As far as the iPhone 6 is concerned, TechRadar says that any phone will bend if you apply enough force. Well, that’s only true if you start talking about extreme forces. What they fail to mention is that the iPhone 6 is flat, whereas the M8 – which is also constructed out of aluminium – has a curved back. This curvature gives a huge boost in overall strength when a perpendicular force is applied. It’s a bit like building a bridge with an arch alongside one which is simply rectangular. The arched one can support much more traffic (and it is why the arch has been used for more than 3,000 years in such constructions).
TechRadar tiptoes around the likelihood of a design flaw. However, the rectangular design and thinness of the iPhone is a design flaw. You can only go so far with thinness before distortion becomes a distinct possibility as a result of forces which thicker versions could withstand with ease. It would appear that the iPhone 6 is one of those things that is only sexy until you touch it – at which point the chances of breaking it increase dramatically.
tax annually, every six months, or monthly by direct debit.
Well done Tony, who passed first time today with just 5 driver faults. He holds the record for being my longest-serving pupil – more than four years since his first lesson.
