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Dumb it Down a Little… And Now a Little More

15/06/2015

I sometimes find it difficult to comprehend the mentalities of people I share this planet with. This story on the BBC does little to change that.

It seems that some British firm has come up with a system whereby your PIN code(s) – that you use for your bank, etc. – can be set using emojis.

For anyone who doesn’t know, an emoji can simultaneously be any or all of the following:

a simple icon used to convey several words at once
a confusing icon of incomprehensible meaning outside Japan (and probably, even inside)
a way of extracting money from people who aren’t good with words, but who still have a smartphone

Quite frankly, anyone who uses emojis is not likely to be old enough to have a bank account (or if they do, they shouldn’t have). It’s bad enough when people intersperse forum posts or text messages with “lol” as a substitute for a full stop, or insist on typing “u” instead of “you”. At best, it’s just lazy. At its worst, it’s pathetic. But emoticons – or emojis, as they have evolved into – are a hundred times worse.

No one with a mental age above 15 is going to use them. They have their roots in Japanese culture anyway, and as you can see from the brief selection in the image at the top of this article, they are pretty much meaningless if you’re not a Japanese school kid. But even then, who the hell is going to need to use a small picture of a mouse or a puppy in anything other than the most pointless of communications? And what’s the difference between a yellow heart and red one? Jaundice, maybe? Yet people actually pay money for these damned things, even though in a more basically drawn form they’re already part of the Unicode standard (and that’s free).

Laughably, Androidcentral says:

With emoji, users could communicate using few or little words and still have their passion come through. One such example would be the “Reversed Hand with Middle Finger Extended” emoji that allows you to quickly express your emotion without having to say much.

Like I suggested above, anyone who needs to say that very often has a restricted mental age.

Anyway, the “service” being touted in that original article has 44 symbols, and it reckons that that’s better than just the 10 numbers used for bank PINs. Your first thought is why they couldn’t use the letters of the alphabet and punctuation marks as well as the numeric characters, but this is where the dumbing down comes in:

David Webber, managing director of Intelligent Environments, said the system was designed to appeal to 15-25-year-olds.

“Why can’t financial service be fun and innovative?” he said.

The truth of the matter is that said 15-25 year olds really should be encouraged to learn to communicate properly, because once they get to 26+ pathetic cutesy icons aren’t going to cut it any more.

Mind you, the frightening thing is that with companies like Intelligent Environments around, maybe in 10 years’ time we’ll be living in a techno village of the damned, where people can only communicate like this. God help us.

As a footnote to this, the day after I updated it I was in contact with a pupil who has a her test coming up. She wanted an extra lesson somewhere, but my diary was full. However, I got a cancellation on the morning of her test and asked her if she wanted it. After confirming she did, and after me querying her choice of time and the fact she has the attention span of a gnat, she sent me this text message:

I can’t work out if the emoji adds any value to the text or not.

Driving Tests and Common Sense

15/06/2015

DOAADI

ADI, Driving Tests

This old post is attracting a lot of hits, lately. It contains a valid point that is valid all the time – not just in the case I described – so I’ve polished it a little.

I had a pupil fail her test on the parallel park (back in 2011). She only got five faults in total.

Now, I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: I have never had a pupil fail the test for a reason that I didn’t agree with, or which wasn’t valid. This particular situation is no different – not technically, anyway. My pupil didn’t complete the parallel park properly and finished partly on the pavement, and the examiner is not at fault for failing her.

However… the examiner had chosen a location where the driveways didn’t have a raised kerb (it was one of those you can drive a car over). At the time they were doing it, the heavens opened and there was a torrential downpour. I can vouch for it, because in the waiting room back at Chalfont Drive (this was 2011, remember) I was watching it out of the window, thinking “wow!” after it went dark like someone had just turned out the lights.

My pupil was quite upset at failing, as they usually are. In this case, though, I had a lot of sympathy, because she said that she couldn’t see the kerb and had finished perfectly straight otherwise. Apparently, she asked if they could go somewhere else, but the examiner had asked her to continue.

The pavement is the pavement, and you can’t drive or stop on it, and especially not in reverse and on your test. But it does make you wonder why some common sense couldn’t have been exercised by the examiner, and the manoeuvre repeated or resumed after the rain had stopped – perhaps in a new location with a clearly defined kerb. Other examiners sometimes allow ordinarily serious faults to pass because the drive was otherwise excellent (I have no argument against that), so when you hear of things like this you .

No matter how long you’ve been driving, in order to parallel park properly you have to be able to see the kerb! If you can’t see it, you can only guess where you are, which is dangerous. Furthermore, if you can’t “feel” the kerb (i.e. detect if the wheels nudge it) you can’t react to it and correct it. My pupil had no chance – there was rain on the windows, rain on the mirror, rain on the road, no visible kerb line, and no physical kerb to feel with the wheels.

Expecting a learner to do a parallel park as if they were wearing a blindfold in such poor conditions – conditions that 99% of all other candidates don’t experience – is wholly unreasonable. It’s no wonder stories about “quotas” start circulating when an examiner basically forces someone into a fail like this.

I repeat, this article refers to a test in 2011. I can’t even remember who the examiner was, or if he (it was a “he”) is still working.

14-Year Old Thug Stabs Teacher

13/06/2015

DOAADI

News

Most people will have seen the news this week, where a supply teacher in Bradford was stabbed by a 14-year old thug.

Well, the little animal who did it was in court today and he’s obviously been remanded in custody. In fact, the minutes leading up to the stabbing were most likely the last he will ever see from the outside of a prison – certainly if there is any justice in this world. People like him are soulless and are best kept away from society permanently. Quite frankly, the same goes for whoever dares to claim responsibility for bringing the little dickhead up to be like this in the first place (and any siblings who share his, shall we say, “radical” views).

What was amusing (if you can find any sort of humour in something like this) was that he cannot be named “for legal reasons”.

Someone should tell that to The Sun. They have a front page and a double spread with photos of the thug as he was being arrested. They have printed everything they can about him, including his name and probably – if I look closely enough – his inside leg measurement. There’s enough information to carry out identity theft!

The problem is that their actions could easily be used by the little scumbag’s defence team as having prejudiced the case, making prosecution either more difficult or more costly (perhaps both).

DVSA: Abolition Of Licence Counterpart – Update

12/06/2015

DOAADI

DVSA, News

Updated.

This was first flagged (officially) back in December 2014, and the initial email warned that from 8 June 2015 the paper counterpart of the licence would no longer be valid.

DVSA has issued an update now that the deadline is imminent (as of this update, it is now in force) – and this is aimed at ADIs.

As an approved driving instructor, this will mean the following for you and your pupils:

When presenting for lessons

You can check your pupil’s photo card licence for ID purposes. However if you want to carry out further entitlement checks you can do so by using either of the following:

‘Share Driving Licence’, DVLA’s new online driving licence enquiry service

DVLA’s existing telephone, post and intermediary enquiry services

This user guide gives further information about how you can carry out further entitlement checks.

This user guide tells your pupils how they can share their driving licence with you.

Several things are apparent from this. Firstly, ADIs only really need to check the photo card for ID purposes (which is precisely what I said in ~~the latest issue of ADI News~~ (June 2015)). But if they still want to do the James Bond bit and find pupils’ inside leg measurements, those two links in the above quote provide the means and the explanation for doing so, because it turns out that the new Show Licence system allows temporary sharing of the information. I’ve given step by step instructions on the Information page.

The DVSA email makes it clear that entitlement checks will have been carried out at the time their test was booked. Examiners will not be doing any additional checks on the day of the test other than looking at the photo card. I suppose that ADIs come in earlier in the learning process and have slightly (and I mean “slightly”) more reason to want to check entitlement – the View Licence service shows penalty points and disqualifications. However, it is not necessary for an ADI to routinely carry out this check – 99 times out of a hundred all they need to do is check the photo card.

One significant change is the fact that pupils are going to have to send off their licences on their own when they pass if they have switched addresses at any point. Fortunately, they won’t have to pay for it and they can do it online or by post – I’ve given more details on the Information page.

Pupils with EU/EEA licences will need to apply for a D91 form before they can book their tests. At the moment, I cannot find any reference to D91 other than in this DVSA email. That must be on its way.

You should destroy your counterpart after 8 June 2015 (I’d wait until 9 June if I were you).

Edit: I noticed someone on a forum complaining that pupils wouldn’t be comfortable entering their National Insurance number in front of the ADI on a laptop in the car. Erm! I don’t think that’s how it works.

What happens is that the licence holder (pupil) generates a code at home, or wherever they would normally access the system, using the View Licence feature. They send this code to their instructor, who then uses the separate Check Licence feature to redeem the code (the ADI also needs the last 8 digits of the pupil’s licence, which they should have anyway). The code is valid for 72 hours and can only be used once.

The system is designed such that non-essential confidential information is not compromised. The pupil shouldn’t be doing it in the car with the instructor present, and the instructor shouldn’t be requesting that they do so.

Edit: I noticed on another forum – and in spite of DVSA setting out clearly how to do it – someone complaining about having to handle NI numbers or obtain “printouts” from pupils.

Look, people! The pupil logs into a special site and obtains a share code. They give this share code to their instructor, who then logs on to a totally separate site using the code – not their NI number – and is then able to see their licence details.

Yes, the pupil could print the code out. But they could also text or email it – the email option in particular allows cut-and-paste of their share code. It really isn’t rocket science.

I’ve given step by step instructions on the Information page.

Edit: I’ve had several tests since 8 June and examiners are definitely not asking for the paper counterpart. You can dispose of yours without any worries.

Edit: Just a reminder that the vast majority of ADIs do not need to access online licence details for the vast majority of their pupils. Unless specific entitlement details are required which are not shown on the photo card, ADIs do not need the other information. They just think they do, and are creating needless extra work for themselves and pointless embarrassment for their pupils by requesting access.

Beeston Test Centre Plausible Pettiness II

12/06/2015

DOAADI

Driving Tests, DVSA

Only a few days ago, I wrote about how a notice had appeared stuck up on just about every wall in the building which houses the Beeston Test Centre informing driving instructors that they MUST stay in the waiting room while their pupils are out on test, that they MUST NOT go into the reception area, and that they MUST pass through the reception quickly when entering or exiting the building in order not to be seen by anyone who might be visiting.

The tone of the notice suggests that typical visitors include royalty, senior politicians, and the non-corporeal figureheads of most major religions.

Shortly after I published that article I received an email via the Contact Form from an instructor in this area. Here’s what he or she says (the email address doesn’t make their gender clear):

I saw your story about those letters at the Beeston test centre and thought you would like to hear what happened to me today.

It was a nice day and I went into the reception to get a coffee so I could go and sit outside. I saw the reception woman come in and I could feel her standing somewhere behind me. I assumed she was waiting to make sure I didn’t sit down anywhere so I ignored her. I picked up my coffee and went to the door. As I was just outside I heard “excuse me, excuse me”. I turned and said “yes” – spilling hot coffee all over my hand as I did so. She just said “THREE cups? THREE?”

What I had done is use three paper cups nested inside each other because the coffee from that machine is very hot and you can’t walk far without having to put it down. Unable to bitch at me for sitting down in the foyer she decided to go for something else. Like I said she was standing behind me just looking for something to complain about. I just said “its because the coffee is hot. Why don’t you put up another notice about it?” and walked out.

I’m not sure if I would have been as diplomatic. All I can say is “three cups! I mean, THREE paper-bloody-cups”. Someone call the police.

One thing I didn’t realise is that the woman in question is new. I never had any problems with the previous receptionist, who was quite friendly, nor did I encounter any loud or noisy instructors. However, it would appear that this harridan is prepared to lie through her back teeth to get what she wants, and from what I have been able to pick up from others ADIs have been smoking, crack-dealing, and plotting bank heists using a 500W PA system just outside this woman’s lair. Such has been the nature of the justifications given to DVSA prior to posting all those notices. Whenever I sat in there, I saw very few other instructors. What I did see, though, was an endless stream of noisy and dirty workmen and delivery boys.

DVSA is a tenant of the Beeston Business Centre just as much as anyone else. I can only assume that this vicious woman – who never seems to do any work – is either prejudiced against them and/or learners and instructors, or is just a bitch to everyone who works there.

The centre manager needs to get his act together quickly. He needs to remember that he (and his staff) work for the tenants – it’s not the other way around. It sends shivers down my spine, because it reminds me so much of some of the scumbags I used to have to work with. All it takes is one promotion, one single change in their job description, and their ego runs riot, sprinting miles ahead of their actual ability.

How To Find Test Cancellations

07/06/2015

DOAADI

ADI, Driving Tests, DSA

Originally written in 2010, but updated due to the number of hits it is receiving.

I get a lot of hits from people using the search term “how to find driving test cancellation slots”. The test wait has been as low as a couple of weeks up this way. At the moment it is at least 10 weeks, and from what I can gather it is almost double that in some places around the country.

I’m not sure exactly how DVSA allocates its available slots, but it seems that they have standard ones which are always available until someone books them. However, they also release additional blocks of test slots periodically, and these suddenly appear in the timeline even when all the original ones at the same times have been taken. It is possible that these are initially reserved for some reason, but then get released when it is clear they aren’t needed (it might also have something to do with manipulating the official waiting times – you can’t say the waiting time is 10 weeks if they always release extra blocks which are only 5 weeks away).

Test slots which require examiner overtime also appear in the timeline at short notice, and I assume that this happens because they don’t know too far in advance who is available to work overtime. Having worked in the rat race and experienced this sort of thing, it is also very likely that they have to get permission for overtime, and this is only granted on a short term basis.

And then there are other people like you. They’ve booked a test, but then find that they can’t make it for some reason, or perhaps they aren’t ready. So they cancel it, and straight away it appears in the timeline for someone else to book.

In summary, tests slots come and go for all sorts of reasons. But the closer they are, the quicker they get taken – and that’s the thing you need to understand if you’re going to find a cancellation (though by “cancellation” I mean any slot which becomes available some time after the initial ones have all been taken).

You simply have to be in the right place at the right time!

The “right place” is logged into the DVSA’s booking system. The “right time” is more difficult to pin down, so you need to log in and check regularly. The oftener the better.

Should I use a test cancellation booking service?

Short answer: no. They can’t do anything more than you could do for yourself – but they charge you extra for it without making that as clear as they should. But let’s be honest: most of them are trying as hard as they possibly can to hide that fact from you without actually breaking any specific Law. They’re as close to being scammers as you can get.

Exam Time Tears

05/06/2015

DOAADI

Education, News

I caught this story on the BBC website earlier today. It concerns a mathematics exam which was taken yesterday, and which has apparently turned half of the teenage population suicidal as a result of one of the questions. Here’s the question which has caused all the fuss:

The BBC quotes a pupil:

There was one person in the exam hall who was crying their eyes out during the exam.

Naturally, being 2015, the whole affair warranted numerous tweets and Facebook posts. These showed fairly conclusively that modern pupils’ sense of humour is as bad as their maths skills.

The Beeb quotes another one:

I found the exam bearable at the beginning but then it took a sharp turn to maths that was way too hard.

I can’t remember the numbers, but the one about Hannah’s sweets in particular made me want to cry.

And Georgina (another pupil) is quoted:

The question involving Hannah’s sweets was the most annoying question I have ever seen in a GCSE paper.

I think Edexcel want us to be like Einstein. It’s crazy, and I hope the exam board lower the grade boundaries because most of the people who took that exam did not know what that question meant.

I think it’s fairly obvious that someone somewhere has screwed up if pupils hadn’t effectively been given the answers before they went in. That’s how it works these days, isn’t it? The exam people reckon it was deliberate, but with so many unhappy boys and girls crying to mummy and daddy… well, let’s see who backs down first.

Georgina and her friends might want to consider the kind of questions we used to have to answer when O Levels were still around. Here’s the first one from a maths paper (syllabus 1) from way back (the first question on any paper was always the easiest):

Or this one from syllabus 2:

I passed my maths O Level with questions like this. As I’ve said before, modern kids don’t know they are born.

The question about Hannah and her sweets is funny, because it’s all typically baby-like (as you’d expect of a 21st century exam paper), then you are smacked in the face by a proper equation and asked something in terms modern pupils have most likely never had to deal with (i.e. “show that… etc.”). But what’s even more surprising is the depth of knowledge of probability theory needed to answer it – the key is that you have to multiply probabilities to solve it. I ought to add that if this sort of thing really is being taught to school kids these days, I’ll happily take back some of what I’ve said about exams getting easier.

Like I say, someone somewhere – and we’re talking about Edexcel here – has cocked up. If not now, they will have once enough complaints have been made.

Is The Backlash Against Cyclists Finally Starting?

05/06/2015

DOAADI

Cyclists, News

Regular readers will know how I feel about cyclists. This year looks like it is going to be the worst yet – there’s already a plague of the damned things which is rivalling even the most alarmist newspaper predictions about other plagues we can expect this summer.

There was an incident this week where a cyclist was hit by a bus, and the video of passers by lifting the 12-tonne vehicle off him went viral. Whilst news reports concentrate on the “amazing” actions of the public, much less (almost nothing, actually) is being made of the fact that the “cyclist” was riding a unicycle, that he:

…looked like he was wobbling a bit…

Or that:

…a dreadlocked man on a unicycle – circus performer Anthony Shields – crossing from the semi-pedestrianised street to his left. “Then he went behind the bus and came round so he was on the right of it, on the inside behind the driver’s window.”

It would appear that in London alone, five cyclists died up until 9 April this year – all of them involving collisions with HGVs. Even half way through January, the country-wide tally stood at 13 fatalities. Year on year, deaths and injuries are on the rise – but the problem no one seems to want to identify, other than by giving it a brief mention now and then, is that the numbers of people cycling on the roads are also increasing at an alarming rate – a rise of 240% over the last five years.

It’s no wonder more people are dying.

Politicians seem blind to the risks and continue to push cycling as some sort of panacea, encouraging more and more people to take it up. Local councils are opening more and more rental hubs so that people in suits and poorly fitting crash hats (they’re always crooked, aren’t they?) can get a piece of the action.

Anyway, I noticed in todays Sun that columnist Rod Liddle was having a right go at them. Mind you, he’s been having a go in different places for a couple of years – it’s just that his column in The Sun is mainstream, and maybe represents some sort of sea change. I certainly hope so.

He starts by referring to a current viral video, where a motorist is seen threatening to punch a cyclist’s teeth down his throat. The cyclist in question had been riding in the road causing a hold up when there was apparently a cycle path right alongside. He finishes by listing five rules he believes should be introduced/ enforced:

If there’s a cycle lane available, cyclists should be compelled to use it. Otherwise they get fined. Simples
Cyclists who ignore red traffic lights should be dealt with in exactly the same way as car drivers who ignore red traffic lights
The police should enforce the law about cycling on pavements. It’s illegal and carries a £500 fine. I wonder how many cyclists have actually been charged?
Cycling two abreast on a two-lane [single carriageway] road should be made illegal
Single cyclists on narrow roads should pull in to let cars overtake.

Of course, Mr Liddle probably now has a warrant out for his arrest as you are not allowed to say anything bad about cyclists. Nonetheless, his five rules make absolute sense. And one day they will have to be introduced.