Test Pass: 28/3/2013

TickWell done to Steve, who passed Thursday with just 5 driver faults. This was his second attempt, and he was more nervous than on the first time. Hands shaking, the lot.

And to make matters worse, he’d been getting a lot of ribbing from his workmates (one reason I tell people not to let everyone know about their test – it just puts them under extra pressure.

But all sorted now. He’ll be able to drive the works van at last.

Slash @ Nottingham Arena

I went to a good show last night at the Nottingham Arena – Slash, with Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators.

The Treatment @ Nottingham ArenaIt’s becoming a bit of a trend, but the support band – The Treatment – were pretty damned good. I suppose someone like Slash is only going to have decent support, so maybe it shouldn’t come as such a surprise (I just think back to the past, where the bands supporting some pretty big names were not as good as they should have been).

Anyway, they were good enough for me to have ordered their debut album.

They’re a 5-piece British band from Cambridge and I believe that they’re all just 18-years old. As their Facebook page says, they are like early UFO and Def Leppard with a big dose of Aerosmith thrown in. Even before I’d looked them up, the lead singer in particular reminded me of Steven Tyler from Aerosmith in his style and singing abilities – he has a great voice.

OK, the band DID look young, but a year or two will probably fix that! Hopefully they’ll keep at it, because they could definitely go places if they do. In fact, they are playing Rock City at the end of March and I might go if I can arrange lessons around it.

Slash and the band came on to a tumultuous reception, and kicked off with “Halo”, from his latest album “Apocalyptic Love”.

Slash, Myles Kennedy, and The Conspirators

It was one of the loudest gigs I’ve been to in a long time. My ears are still ringing even now. But the sound was excellent and the showmanship excellent. My mate who was with me commented on the backdrop and simple light rig before the show started – no video screens and just basic coloured floods, with a large sheet depicting what could have been a tattoo design. But as I pointed out, no amount of lights can make up for crap music and poor sound – and I was proved right, as the music was what really mattered here.

Myles Kennedy @ Nottingham ArenaMyles Kennedy has been working with Slash for some time now, and the result has been pretty impressive from what I’ve heard on Planet Rock. Kennedy has a tenor voice which apparently spans four octaves, and is otherwise known as one of the members of Alter Bridge. I was impressed by how good he sounded live.

Another eye-opener was the band’s bassist. For most of the night I was convinced he was Taylor Hood – the lead singer with Crown Jewel Defense (another support band I was hugely impressed with, and who I’m keeping my eyes on). But I was wrong, even though he is the spitting image. He’s actually Canadian, Todd Kerns.Todd Kerns @ Nottingham Arena

The eye-opening part was his vocals on the Guns’n’Roses covers that were played at the end of the show. He might look like Taylor Hood, but he sounds just like Axl Rose, and has a superb range.

Frank Sidoris on rhythm guitar and Brent Fitz on drums completed a solid line up.

They played a total of six songs from “Apocalyptic Love”, and a few from Slash’s first album – including my favourite, Starlight, due to Kennedy’s vocals. What I personally liked was the extended guitar solos – I could listen to those all night.

Nottingham Arena is an OK venue, but they overdo it a bit with the queuing system outside. I haven’t figured out yet why it was “women to the left, men to the right” – they actually forced couples to split up and queue separately, which was bloody ridiculous. It may have had something to do with that prat of a doorman who really liked the sound of his own voice.

It was cold outside, and they took bloody ages letting people in. Then there was the exorbitant price of the drinks – £4 for a pint of gnat’s piss lager, most of which was pre-poured to try and speed things up. I can’t figure out why these places can’t have proper beer taps on the counters, but instead choose to install useless, slow-pouring systems in backrooms which necessitates this wasteful “teamwork” (I reckon that at least four people were involved in serving each pint I bought).

Slash @ Nottingham Arena

Then there were the people – oh, how I love some of the people who attend these events.

There you are, standing in the queue to buy beer, with dozens of pints standing ready on the counter behind the bar. Unfortunately, every prat in front of you wants something else. Why? A pint of Stella was £4, but a bottle of Stella was £3.80. Of course, you aren’t allowed to have an actual bottle in your hand, so they have to pour it into a glass – and that takes time. And then you’ll get the “couple”. The stupid cow of the duo will inevitably not want beer, and will try to order something else. You’ll see her making hand gestures as if to say “just a small one”, and the bar person will be standing there listening, only to shake his head. For Christ’s sake, people, all the damned drinks are listed on the board, so why do you insist on trying to order something that they don’t have. It’s not a bleeding nightclub you’re in, and they don’t do Baileys or anything other than the cheapest wine.

Slash @ Nottingham ArenaAnd an annoying trend at these gigs is the growing tendency to try and create a “mosh pit” by people who are only just out of nappies. You get young males who suddenly, and without warning, try to charge through people as if they’re not there (I grabbed one and threatened to smack him if he did it again. He wasn’t so big after that, and slunk away). Trust me, children, grown ups at grown up concerts don’t do mosh pits. And I certainly don’t.

Slash @ Nottingham ArenaWith one or two of them, as they began running into people, you could almost see that they’d got an erection out of it. Bloody juveniles.

But all that aside, it was a great night. And as you can see I got some good photos out of it being close to the front. All followed by a very decent curry (as usual) at the Mogal-e-azam up by Rock City.

Roadcraft

Or to give it its full title: Roadcraft: The Police Driver’s Handbook.

Roadcraft - The POLICE DRIVER'S HandbookAnyone who has a copy of this should occasionally turn around and make sure they haven’t let reality slip out of their sight.

Some elements of the book can be useful when teaching, but this is NOT the case most of the time, and definitely NOT for every pupil.

Roadcraft has been jumped on by the “I Am An Advanced Driver” brigade as some sort of bible.

I again refer to its official title as a Police Driver’s handbook. This is clearly written on the cover. Furthermore, the foreword is written by ACPO and the Police Foundation. I don’t really see what else is needed to convince ADIs that this is NOT a learner syllabus.

It was written for the police. Period.

Much of what it contains would be dangerous if an inexperienced person tried to use it. Inexperience means – by definition – that existing underlying skills are undeveloped, whereas Roadcraft assumes that its readers have these necessary skills. It cannot possibly make that assumption correctly of readers outside the realms of the police force.

Test Pass: 25/2/2013

TickWell done to Laura, who passed today first time with just one driver fault (so nearly a clean sheet).

She recently lost her job, and this will help her look for a new one. For that reason, it’s another very satisfying result as far as I’m concerned.

It also means my pass rate for the year is now at about 60% after four passes in a row, and two of them first time (the other two second time).

A QC Who Thinks He Has The Answer

OK, I suppose they’re not that rare – QCs who think they know it all, that is – but whenever they open their mouths you still have to wonder what planet they come from.

This letter in the Financial Times (you have to register, but it’s free) is from Julian Malins, QC (he’s signed it, so that’s why I’m mentioning him by name). It came through in the newsfeeds with the headline title “Driving test is too difficult so many do not bother at all”, so it naturally caught my attention.

It is all to do with a previous FT story about the declining numbers of young people taking the driving test, explained as being due to financial constraints and the like.

Our expert QC berates the FT for this. Apparently, it is obvious (to him, at any rate) that the only reason people don’t take the driving test as much is that it is too hard!

It would appear that his sole source of evidence is that the police once told him that as much as 10% of all drivers on the M25 at any time are unlicensed.

He should look outside of London, EC4 (he probably isn’t aware that people even live outside of EC4). In some places, notably in Yorkshire, as many as 90% of all drivers are uninsured or unlicensed in some areas, and I got that off the police in those cop shows on cable.

I’m not sure what our expert QC would suggest, though if you join the dots the obvious answer is that the test should be made easier or just abolished. Malins suggests that this is why magistrates courts are filled with these people.

You have to wonder how such naïveté could be found in someone who is actually capable of destroying someone’s life as a result of these totally inaccurate beliefs.

Test Pass: 15/2/2013

TickAnother belated one, but well done Jack, who passed with just 5 driver faults (in spite of those habits you got off your mum!)

Another safe and sensible new driver – just make sure you stay that way, and don’t be like those friends you were telling me about. And good luck with the job hunting – having a licence should add an extra string to your bow.

Examiner Strike February 15th Suspended

An email alert from the DSA advises that the scheduled examiner strike on February 15th has been suspended.

Fossil Command at PCS is no doubt trying to find a better and far more inconvenient time for the strike. Obviously, with the risk of snow cancelling tests at this time of year, PCS officials made a major mistake scheduling industrial action when there is a risk of their little performance clashing.

Chalfont Drive Test Centre Moving To Temporary Premises From March 2013

An update from the DSA says that from 1st March 2013, Chalfont Drive tests will be operating from two temporary addresses.

The two locations are the Driving Test Centre at Watnall, and the DVLA’s premises off Woodhouse Way. (Edit 18/4/2013: The DVLA one is no longer functioning – it was set up to handle existing Chalfont bookings).

I hope those moronic driving instructors who undoubtedly had a hand in the original move to Beeston falling through are happy. No doubt they’ll be whining about the confusion and “incompetence” of the DSA over all that has now arisen, when in fact it is THEIR fault. And best of all, in an ironic way: their pupils will almost certainly now have to handle Nuthall Roundabout, because both locations are less than a mile away from it!

The Watnall residents are going to go nuts now that the two or three available corners there are going to have queues of idiots waiting to use them. They thought they’d seen the last of that when Watnall stopped doing any car or ADI tests a few years ago, but Watnall is the closest “nursery area” (the favoured phrase of the below-average ADI) for both locations.

Meanwhile, waiting times at Colwick continue to rise (based on my own observations of booking times) – if someone booked now they’d be lucky to get one before April unless it was a cancellation. This is because of the gradual migration of instructors away from Chalfont Drive.

Test Pass: 11/2/2013

Well done to Lynne, who passed first time today with 6 driver faults.

This one was particularly satisfying, as she is in her 50s and needs to learn to drive because her husband is likely to have to give up driving soon due to the progression of Alzheimer’s. She will need to become the family chauffeur.

It’s been a quiet start to the year so far. This is only my fifth test (this time last year I’d done around fourteen), and only the second pass (last year my pass rate was around 80% at this stage). Funny how it goes. Still, 40% is not the end of the world – unless it stays there!

Test Pass: 6/2/2013

Tick symbolWell done to Lucy, who passed last week with just four driver faults.

A bit late posting this one up, but at least the new licence will set you up for all those job interviews you’re going to shortly.

And remember what I said about thinking of what is coming around corners before you go into them – always think safe!