I hope it’s not a sign of things to come, but I had a dusting of snow on the car this morning as I went to my first lesson. Still, at least the wind’s dropped. It was bitterly cold last night with that howling gale and temperatures close to zero.
A reminder from the DSA on general driving procedures:
Before moving off you should:
- use all mirrors to check the road is clear
- look round to check the blind spots (the areas you are unable to see in the mirrors)
- signal if necessary before moving out
- look round for a final check
Move off only when it is safe to do so.
Rule 159
Not doing a blindspot check over your right shoulder before moving off is one of the most common causes of failing your driving test. It’s also one of the easiest ways of annoying the hell out of other drivers.
Only bad drivers fail to check properly before moving off.
The blindspot check isn’t just for the test – it’s for life!
This is a very old story. DSA is now DVSA.
This story came in on the newsfeeds. It reports that ex-driving examiner (he’s an “ex” because of the case), Richard Cwierzona, took bribes from candidates in exchange for test passes.
He also attempted to obtain “dates” from female pupils in exchange for test passes. One woman claimed that he offered to pass her in return for oral sex.
Police believe that there could be “hundreds of illegal drivers” on the roads as a result of his actions. However, only 57 people with suspicious results could be traced. The DSA revoked 39 of those and apparently sacked him when his actions were discovered.
Cwierzona apparently made at least £4,500 in bribes between September 2009 and September 2010, at which point he was sacked. But it seems that this had been going on since 2002. He was suspended in 2007 for offering to take a bribe, but as it was his word against the candidate and her driving instructor he was reinstated in 2009 (you can imagine union involvement in there somewhere judging from the time span).
Cwierzona was jailed for two and a half years.
Andy Rice of the DSA said:
Fortunately these cases are very few and far between but I am pleased with the sentence as it acts as a deterrant (sic) to anybody else thinking of acting this way in the future.
The DSA is as disgusted as anyone else – but I notice that there are some people – instructors included – out there already trying to twist it otherwise with their racist twist on the subject.
You’d be surprised how many people find this site as a result of Google queries on how to bribe examiners. It should be pointed out, however, that several of Cwierzona’s victims – it was always Cwierzona who initiated the offer – refused.
I noticed on the news yesterday that the last analogue TV transmitter has been switched off and the UK is now completely digital. A related story that may have escaped people’s attention was 
the closure of CEEFAX – the BBC’s teletext service (ORACLE was the ITV version, but it made a better post heading). CEEFAX was part of the analogue transmission.
It’s hard to believe that it started back in 1974. Younger people today cannot understand how hi-tech it was back then – before there was the internet or mobile phones (not as we know 
them, anyway).
I think my family got our first Teletext TV in the early 80s, and I used to spend hours reading through it. It was always good for up-to-date football results and newsflashes. I suppose it was the equivalent of text messaging today – but with good grammar and meaningful content.
One of its drawbacks was that since it was carried with the analogue signal the slightest interference would corrupt the data, and since the pages scrolled sequentially – as many as 20 or 30 in some cases – you had to wait until the one you wanted came around, each one remaining on-screen for about 20 seconds or so. If the fridge motor turned on, or the woman next door started hoovering, the information would be gobbledegook!
One of its better uses was to provide subtitles for various programmes, and I think that was its main purposes initially.
I’m surprised it wasn’t shutdown sooner than this as it ceased to have any real use as soon as the internet began to take hold. Even now, text services broadcast with digital TV via “the red button” are vastly inferior to what you can get online – but now and again, their existence can be handy (especially if you’re lazy and can’t be bothered to get up and find out the latest Arsenal score while you’re watching a movie.
It’s the end of an era, obviously, But then, all eras must end sooner or later and there’s no point trying to cling on to them.
Well done Kelly, who passed today with 6 driver faults (first time with me, second time overall). The pass certificate will come as a nice engagement present.
I was a little worried when they were out for nearly 50 minutes – but even driving examiners can’t avoid those bloody roadworks the idiots in charge of Nottingham City Council are allowing to spring up everywhere, but only allowing work to proceed for a maximum of 4 hours a day (plus not weekends and when the weather is nasty).
The DSA has sent out one of its periodic advice emails. This one concerns roundabouts.
When reaching the roundabout you should:
- give priority to traffic approaching from your right, unless directed otherwise by signs, road markings or traffic lights
- check whether road markings allow you to enter the roundabout without giving way. If so, proceed, but still look to the right before joining
- watch out for all other road users already on the roundabout; be aware they may not be signalling correctly or at all
- look forward before moving off to make sure traffic in front has moved off
Rule 185
I’ve given a lot of advice on how to handle roundabouts, including the non-existent 12 o’clock rule and also the Nuthall roundabout in Nottingham, and one of the main points to be aware of is that they’re not all the same and you cannot apply the exact same detailed procedure to every one you ever encounter, particularly when it comes to lane choice and signalling.
The DSA’s advice is written in a level of detail (i.e. not too much) so that it applies to all roundabouts for all normal drivers.
Once again, the amateur Sherlock Holmes’ out there (all driving instructors, obviously) are waffling on about the picture of that green car turning right and being shown in the right-hand lane – even though the green arrows show that it can exit in either lane (which it can).
What they all miss is the fact that the roundabout in the picture has two lanes on every entry, and this defines two lanes on the roundabout itself. It would be far more risky for anyone turning right to change lanes on most roundabouts part way through, and especially so for learners and inexperienced drivers (of which there are far more than the average amateur Sherlock Holmes realises, and some of those are a lot closer to home than he thinks).
So the position of the green car in the right-hand exit lane is actually the safest option – unless you’re a super-duper advanced-driving expert who doesn’t need to follow road markings or use signals merely because you read it in Roadcraft once!
Addendum: If you don’t like receiving these DSA advice (or other) emails – which it appears some don’t – then there is an absolutely clear link on each one which says “Unsubscribe”. Subscribing to them in the first place required a very deliberate act on the part of the subscriber. It stands to reason that unless the DSA is employing psychics now, unsubscribing will also require a very deliberate counter action on the part of that same subscriber!
Of course, if you don’t get them sent to you anymore then there’ll be nothing to complain about in future…
I was on a lesson with a pupil this afternoon and we were driving along the Colwick Loop Road near Netherfield. I was teaching my pupil how to anticipate traffic lights changing by looking well ahead, easing off the gas, and avoiding stopping if necessary.
As we passed through the lights at Road No. 1 I noticed a car in my rearview mirror (a metallic powder-blue Vauxhall Astra, reg. no. FN09 HFD) approaching at speed. It didn’t actually slow down, even though the two lanes were merging into one, so I put my fingers on the steering wheel to make sure my learner didn’t panic and steer into the kerb or brake hard (as learners often do when they see someone cutting them up).
The car behind was clearly driving well in excess of the speed limit, and the only thing that stopped him going past us, even after the merge, was the fact that he’d have run head-on into oncoming traffic (or hit a central bollard). He’d misjudged everything by just about as much as it was possible to, and nearly killed himself in the process. I pointed to my head – I couldn’t believe that he’d been stupid enough to even contemplate what he’d attempted (fortunately, my pupil hadn’t seen him – even though she should have). I noticed that the driver was elderly, with an elderly female passenger.
Anyway, as we continued I’d instructed my pupil to follow the signs towards Southwell, which meant staying in lane at the Victoria Park junction. The car I mentioned previously was behind us at those lights. As they changed we moved off normally.
As we moved off I noticed him swing out to our left – into the lanes for Arnold and Gedling. I half expected him to go flying past us on the left, but he didn’t. As we approached the cut off point at the next lights we could hear a long horn sound. It turned out that this senile idiot had tried to undercut us at a speed equal to or less than what we were doing, and didn’t like the fact that he’d been unable to. God knows what was going through his dementia-riddled brain to try this stupid manoeuvre.
As we stopped at the lights, the moron – both were obviously OAPs – flew out across the back of us and into the right hand lane.
I gave him a right mouthful at this stage. My pupil was driving absolutely safely and normally, and nothing she was doing was in any way wrong. Except to this dementia-case of a driver.
On the other hand, absolutely everything he was doing for the 60 seconds I was aware of him was dangerous, illegal, and plain wrong. He was speeding (before, and after as he shot off), he tried to dangerously overtake, and he tried to dangerously undertake (the failure of which made him dangerously overtake again). He saw a learner in front and decided to get past at all costs. He exhibited road rage when he failed (twice). His aged brain couldn’t judge it right in the first place, and was even less capable of dealing with it when it started to go wrong.
I could see the two of them mouthing off to each other as they sped off – I hate those Darby & Joan car double-acts where the weak-minded old man is told what to do by the harridan he’s married to at the best of times. No doubt she was equally incorrect about who was behaving like a senile imbecile, and who was driving sensibly and correctly. I bet they’re still yapping about it now.
Regular readers will know I’ve been supporting Cassie’s Law for the last 12 months. Cassie McCord was killed by an elderly driver who should have already been taken off the roads by force due to his appalling eyesight and other age-related issues (i.e. that he’d had an accident only days before the one involving Cassie).
The driver I encountered today falls into the exact same bracket. Driving the way he was, all it would have needed was someone like Cassie being in the wrong place at the wrong time and they’d be history. It is unbelievable that scum like this are allowed to remain on the roads. This fossil was totally and completely wrong, and at his age totally incapable of getting away with it or even of judging it properly. Fortunately this time he just made himself look like a prat.
Well done Petra, who passed yesterday with just 5 driver faults.
This has been one of those satisfying journeys. Petra had to retake her theory test and failed the practical four times before the first one ran out.
She was a very nervous driver when she came to me as a result of an accident in her homeland when she was younger and more than once was ready to give up – and especially so when she failed the last time and knew she’s have to retake the theory. The strange thing is that she was always one of those who I’d have put money on passing easily.
Fortunately, between her friends and me we persuaded her to carry on, and she passed first try with her new theory test out of the way.
Normally, I avoid shopping in places like Morrisons and Asda during the day because of the queues. A drawback to this is the stock on the shelves – it’s common to find fresh stuff and bread sold out in Morrisons and even in Asda (which claims to be open 24 hours). By 9pm there will be plenty of empty shelves.
Unfortunately, both stores gradually close down their checkouts as the day progresses, so there are still queues to contend with, and when you’ve got a loaf of bread and a handful of other items it’s no fun being behind even one person with a full trolley (or items of clothing), let alone two or three of them at the only operating checkout.
The self-checkout is a relatively new feature of many large stores, and I try to use those whenever I can. But like most things in life, other people ruin the fun of them. I think I’m going to start a campaign for there to be a minimum IQ and minimum/maximum age range for those using them.
I was in Morrisons this afternoon. There were huge queues at all of the main checkouts, and seven people at the two self-checkouts (only one of which was in operation). I stood in the self-checkout queue and quickly realised nothing was happening. This is because Morrisons in Clifton has a special procedure for the self-checkouts, and a very special class of customer (most only have one helix in their DNA) using them. It works like this.
There is a member of staff whose duty it is to stand by the checkouts, because it is rare for any customer to be able to process their entire basket without setting off the amber or red warning light at least once. Therefore, the member of staff will be nowhere to be seen when there is a queue of people waiting, and will be doing something in those mysterious wooden drawers where the expensive stuff (and computer games) are locked up to prevent theft.
Certainly in Clifton, the average user of the self-checkout will have one or more bottles of spirits, and since these items are both security tagged and require authorisation the presence of the staff member is essential. Even though the member of staff can see clearly that every customer in the queue has spirits in their hands, this will not stop them from sauntering away and ignoring the immediate red light for several minutes. And they won’t – under any circumstances – hurry, or use commonsense in anticipating the red light being triggered. Furthermore, only the member of staff who is assigned to the machine can deal with any problems (as I discovered a few weeks ago). Oh, and another feature of the self-checkout is that anyone under the age of 30 waiting in line will continue to do their shopping while standing there – it’s funny how there is always something they desperately need within a 5 metre radius.
Morrisons’ self-checkout hardware and software appear to be early beta. The machines spend more time crashed than up and running. On top of that, about 20% of all stock requires authorisation. Having used Asda’s and Tesco’s machines I’m fully aware of the huge differences in reliability. For a start off, if you move your bag or any of the items in it (and the Morrisons machines have stupidly uneven collection areas), the equipment triggers an amber or red light which cannot be cleared except by a member of staff. Asda and Tesco machines are able to reset themselves (or let you continue scanning) as long as the item isn’t actually removed. Asda and Tesco also have a much stricter policy regarding staff attendance.
Back to my experience this afternoon. The female customer at the only working machine had obviously done something to it. There was no member of staff to be seen for at least two minutes, and when she finally arrived she had to attend to this customer for a further minute or so. After farting about for several more minutes, paying by credit card (of course) and farting about some more, this idiot customer left and was followed by two neanderthals. They triggered the red light immediately (or it came on in protest at who was in front of it, I don’t know for sure) and stood looking with open mouths across the hall for the idiot who should have been in attendance already. She arrived after a couple of minutes, sorted the problem, and the two neanderthals proceeded to pay (by credit card). They were followed by an old couple. By now, the red light and alarm bells in my head were going off, because there was no way in hell these two were going to be able to manage unaided, and I noticed they had unbagged fruit and veg in their basket, which would mean interacting with several screens on the machine, and we all know that old people and computers don’t mix. So I switched to a normal checkout.
I must stress again that this is Clifton. So once the woman with the enormous trolley’s stuff had been scanned by the checkout girl, and after the customer had packed all her carrier bags, only then did she fumble for her purse in order to pay… you guessed it: by credit card. Oh, and she also wanted cashback (another thing that should be banned – use the bloody ATM outside if you want money).
All this while I was watching the old couple. They didn’t manage to scan/weigh a single item as it was obvious they hadn’t got a clue how to use the machine. They had to wait for the idiot member of staff to come back yet again – and by the time I walked out the staff member was actually scanning items for them.
And they call it the “express checkout”.
This story has been doing the rounds today. It tells how a child, aged 2, was accidentally served with whisky instead of fruit juice in a restaurant.
If you read the story, you are forced to conclude that his mother was in “a panic and rage”, was “crying”, and the toddler was in an alcohol-induced coma and had to be rushed to hospital because his life was at risk, and is apparently now “recovering at home”. You are left with the impression that he’d been served neat whisky in a shot glass, and that the restaurant staff couldn’t care less!
It’s now important to read between the lines, referring to the photo of him drinking the whisky.
The drink is in a tumbler, filled to the brim. Even if it was a double – as his mother claimed, without proof – it was watered down to about the same volume as a can of drink (say, around 330ml). He had apparently taken “ten sips” of this diluted mix, which couldn’t have amounted to more than a quarter of the whole drink – probably much less. He’d get a bigger hit from a dose of Calpol!
I’m sorry, but the one thing that this story proves is that children shouldn’t be allowed in bloody restaurants in the first place. Then innocent mistakes a like this wouldn’t have to be turned into dramas by attention-seeking parents.
It reminds me of an incident when I was at school. The lab technician – who, looking back, must have been 17 or thereabouts – was boasting to my biology class how he’d made a teacher drunk by dropping a thimbleful of pure ethanol into her coffee. He was under the mistaken impression that pure alcohol is orders of magnitude more concentrated than when it is in, say, a pint of beer.
In actual fact, a pint of typical-strength beer contains around 20ml of alcohol – probably at least FOUR thimblefuls. So the juvenile lab technician was talking crap.
I would doubt that an infant taking a few sips of an alcoholic drink would be intoxicated to the degree that is suggested in the various versions of the story.
(Another reason I know this is that when I was four, I got drunk after stealing four bottles of milk stout from my grandma. I got what I later – many years later – discovered to be “a hangover”. From the age of four up until I was 17 I didn’t touch a single drop of alcohol as a direct result of this, and even when I started I had to force myself because I didn’t like it! It took about six years before I could drink neat beer instead of shandy or a lager-top, and I still detest spirits in all forms).