Category - Driving Tests

Only a few days ago, I wrote about how a notice had appeared stuck up on just about every wall in the building which houses the Beeston Test Centre informing driving instructors that they MUST stay in the waiting room while their pupils are out on test, that they MUST NOT go into the reception area, and that they MUST pass through the reception quickly when entering or exiting the building in order not to be seen by anyone who might be visiting.

The tone of the notice suggests that typical visitors include royalty, senior politicians, and the non-corporeal figureheads of most major religions.

Shortly after I published that article I received an email via the Contact Form from an instructor in this area. Here’s what he or she says (the email address doesn’t make their gender clear):

I saw your story about those letters at the Beeston test centre and thought you would like to hear what happened to me today.

It was a nice day and I went into the reception to get a coffee so I could go and sit outside. I saw the reception woman come in and I could feel her standing somewhere behind me. I assumed she was waiting to make sure I didn’t sit down anywhere so I ignored her. I picked up my coffee and went to the door. As I was just outside I heard “excuse me, excuse me”. I turned and said “yes” – spilling hot coffee all over my hand as I did so. She just said “THREE cups? THREE?”

What I had done is use three paper cups nested inside each other because the coffee from that machine is very hot and you can’t walk far without having to put it down. Unable to bitch at me for sitting down in the foyer she decided to go for something else. Like I said she was standing behind me just looking for something to complain about. I just said “its because the coffee is hot. Why don’t you put up another notice about it?” and walked out.

I’m not sure if I would have been as diplomatic. All I can say is “three cups! I mean, THREE paper-bloody-cups”. Someone call the police.

One thing I didn’t realise is that the woman in question is new. I never had any problems with the previous receptionist, who was quite friendly, nor did I encounter any loud or noisy instructors. However, it would appear that this harridan is prepared to lie through her back teeth to get what she wants, and from what I have been able to pick up from others ADIs have been smoking, crack-dealing, and plotting bank heists using a 500W PA system just outside this woman’s lair. Such has been the nature of the justifications given to DVSA prior to posting all those notices. Whenever I sat in there, I saw very few other instructors. What I did see, though, was an endless stream of noisy and dirty workmen and delivery boys.

DVSA is a tenant of the Beeston Business Centre just as much as anyone else. I can only assume that this vicious woman – who never seems to do any work – is either prejudiced against them and/or learners and instructors, or is just a bitch to everyone who works there.

The centre manager needs to get his act together quickly. He needs to remember that he (and his staff) work for the tenants – it’s not the other way around. It sends shivers down my spine, because it reminds me so much of some of the scumbags I used to have to work with. All it takes is one promotion, one single change in their job description, and their ego runs riot, sprinting miles ahead of their actual ability.

You know, when I lost my job and became self-employed I thought I was done with the rat race and its crapola for good. Unfortunately, it appears to have festered and grown, and there’s so much of it about these days it’s like stepping in dog shit every five minutes.

I don’t use the Beeston Test Centre as often as Clifton or Colwick. It’s not that I deliberately avoid it – if pupils want their tests there, then that’s where we go – but since I do a lot of my lessons on the south side of Nottingham both to avoid traffic and to get them out on different types of roads, pupils get comfortable with that area and often declare that they’d like to do their tests over that way. Personally, I find Beeston less comfortable – the chairs in the waiting room are hard, upright, and fixed against the wall, and on weekends you can’t use it at all because the main block of the Business Centre is locked up.

On normal days I like to sit quietly in the reception area with a coffee. But I can’t do that any more. This is the latest sign that has been sellotaped to just about every window and wall.

FOR THE ATTENTION OF VISITING DRIVING INSTRUCTORS

PLEASE NOTE THE MAIN BUSINESS CENTRE RECEPTION IS NOT THE DVSA WAITING ROOM, THEY PROVIDE THEIR OWN WAITING ROOM FOR THE SOLE USE OF ALL CANDIDATES AND THEIR INSTRUCTORS. THIS ROOM IS LOCATED THROUGH THE DOUBLE DOORS AT THE REAR OF RECEPTION IN UNIT A1:A2.

THE BUSINESS CENTRE IS A MULTI OCCUPIED BUILDING AND AS SUCH THIS RECEPTION AREA ACTS AS THE MAIN RECEPTION FOR ALL RESIDENT COMPANIES ALONG WITH PROSPECTIVE NEW TENANTS WHO MAYBE  VIEWING THE PREMISES FOR THE FIRST TIME.

IT IS ALSO THE MAIN THOROUGHFARE AND FIRE EXIT DOORS IN THE CASE OF AN EMERGENCY AND IN LIGHT OF THIS, I AM SURE YOU WILL APPRECIATE WE MUST ENSURE THERE ARE NO OBSTRUCTIONS WHEN ENTERING OR EXITING THROUGH SAID DOORS, WHILST ALSO MAINTAINING A PROFESSIONAL FIRST IMPRESSION AT ALL TIMES.

THEREFORE, WHILST WAITING FOR YOUR PUPILS TO RETURN FROM THEIR DRIVING TESTS, PLEASE WAIT IN THE DVSA WAITING ROOM FOR THE DURATION OF THE TEST, NOT THE CENTRE’S MAIN RECEPTION. IF YOU WISH TO BE PRESENT JUST PRIOR TO THEIR RETURN, IN VIEW OF THE ABOVE CAN I RESPECTIVELY ASK THAT YOU EXIT THE BUILDING IMMEDIATELY AND REFRAIN FROM STANDING IN OR AROUND THE MAIN THOROUGHFARE AT ALL TIMES.

THANKING YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION IN THIS MATTER.

CENTRE MANAGER

It’s slightly ironic they should mention “professionalism” and “[first appearances]” – I’ve always considered that having stupid Do This/Don’t Do That signs stuck up all over the place is about as unprofessional as you can get. And don’t even get me started on how pathetically childish it is.

From what I can gather, and having spoken with others, the woman who runs the reception shares a few chromosomes with the secretaries we used to have when I was in the rat race who – far from recognising their position on the lower rungs of the ladder in the big scheme of things – believe that they’re somewhere at the top. The problem is that in the modern world, ♀ + ♂ = ♀♀♀, so for all practical purposes they are near the top. Secretaries always report to someone higher up than you, and if that person is a male then he has no choice but to acquiesce over any complaint they might make, since he runs the risk of finding himself the subject of a Special Report in The Sun if he doesn’t. His only recourse is to agree with her totally and sanction the erection of a bunch of stupid signs.

Just for the record, whenever I’ve sat or stood quietly in that reception area, at least half of the time it has had a constant stream of noisy blokes in dirty overalls standing around, delivery men dropping stuff off, and on more than one occasion someone talking to that receptionist for the whole 40 minutes. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone who works in the place who was photogenic enough to be seen by the public in that reception area.

Among the other signs that have appeared, which have stopped just short of singling out ADIs, we have:

• the one about closing the front door
• the one about how the ladies toilet is for ladies only, and how there is a separate one for men
• the one about how the office door in the corridor between the DVSA waiting room and the male toilet is not the male toilet

All of these are in addition to signs that are specific to other tenants concerning waste recycling, the state the ladies toilets are being left in, and so on. There’s hardly any wall space left.

Thinking back, it all started when the DVSA first located to the Beeston Business Park. The first time I went there I hadn’t got a clue where to go after I entered the building. However, as my first test at Beeston was a few weeks after it opened, there was already another bloody printed sign on the reception desk with a terse message about where to go. You could smell the “attitude” even then – the receptionist obviously got tired of directing people very quickly.

One thing is clear: DVSA are not welcome as tenants of the Business Park. After all, none of the other tenants are confined to their offices, and ordered to exit the building immediately they leave them. The “centre manager” needs to get it into his skull that although there might be one or two ADIs who really are so stupid that they can’t identify a ladies toilet or close a door, not all of them are like that.