Learners On Motorways

I mentioned this a few months ago. Reading between the lines, Mike Penning’s daughter must think it’s a good idea, otherwise it’s unlikely that something driving instructors have been suggesting for years would ever have come to fruition.

From sometime in 2012, learners will be allowed on motorways with a qualified instructor (not with mum or dad, or chav mates).

HGVs - Overtaking and Tailgating at the same timeOf course, it was unlikely this change was ever going to get a clear ride into being. And who better than those guardians of safe motorway driving – lorry drivers – to start throwing up objections, via the Road Haulage Association (RHA).

Yes, the very people who contribute significantly to make motorways a whole lot less safe than they could be is now shooting its collective mouth off and saying that no one should be allowed on them until after they’ve passed their tests. Some of the RHA’s membership even thinks that people shouldn’t be allowed on even then – not until they have “more experience”.

It would simply have to be someone with the intelligence of a lorry driver to come up with that logic – to stay off motorways until you have more experience… of not being on them.

When you think that it’s taken around 80 years to seriously discuss the issue, it’s hardly likely that suddenly anyone is going to listen to a bunch of tailgaters raising objections.

Maybe we should start our own organisation against tailgating, and call for the banning of all HGVs from motorways until they learn how to leave a big enough gap so as not to create carnage if anything goes wrong? Or maybe that they have to have anti-tailgating technology fitted? Or that the maximum speed limit for HGVs on the road should be enforced, making tampering with the limiting fuse an offence punishable by prison for both the driver and his employer? Oh, and no sandwich toasters or kettles allowed in the cab while the vehicle is moving?

The only benefit to keeping learners off the motorways is that they wouldn’t be exposed to that kind of crap in the first place.

There’s another report – a better one, I have to say – here in the News & Star. It looks like the change will happen sometime during the summer. Of course, the last people Penning is likely to keep informed of developments and timelines is driving instructors, because I haven’t seen anything except what’s been in the press.

And Another Thing About Roundabouts…

Someone was asking why the Highway Code (HC) shows a car coming off in the right-hand lane when turning right.

Just to clarify, this is the picture the HC uses to explain roundabouts.Highway Code Roundabouts

It doesn’t show a car turning right (the green arrows) coming off JUST in the right-hand lane. It shows a car turning right using EITHER the left- or right-hand lanes.

It does not show a car merely using the right-hand lane to exit, nor does it advocate this as the preferred default. It is simply showing that you can use either/any of the lanes if there is more than one. It doesn’t say anything about “if it’s safe to do so”, because that should be taken as read.

That’s because on an unmarked roundabout where a single lane entry carriageway leads off to a multi-lane carriageway, this is exactly what you would do – if cars in the left-hand lane were going slower, for example, or perhaps if you were getting ready to turn right further on, then you would legitimately exit to another lane on that carriageway. I suspect that the complaint has something to do with learners and lane discipline – however, the HC is something learners are supposed to adhere to, not something that needs to be dumbed down for them

Of course, if you had multi-lane entrances  to the roundabout, and/or road markings, then you’d use the appropriate lane suggested by the markings (the HC says that, too).

As I often have to explain to my pupils, there is the basic roundabout procedure – but road markings can change all that.

Another thing I see a lot of is instructors not teaching their pupils to drive properly, but forcing them to do everything in the left-hand lane – even when they NEED the right-hand lane almost immediately after some junction. They then have to indicate and change lanes, often causing others to slow down to let them in – which is just about OK on their tests if they do it properly, but a guaranteed fail if they don’t.

I teach mine to plan ahead. If you’re going to turn right, then right again 200m further on, bloody well get in the right-hand lane for the first turn so you don’t have to force everyone to stop 25m before the next one to let you in.

How NOT To Do Roundabouts (And Other Junctions)

Note that this is a very old post from 2012. As of 2022, I have a decent dashcam and – best of all – the Police accept online submissions of footage.

Today was one of those days. It started off with some idiot stopped completely on a mini-roundabout (they were giving way to traffic coming on to it). I was still in a good mood as far as other road users go at that point.

Then, not more than 40 minutes later, I was entering the Nottingham Knight roundabout Green Mini Cooper - K5 CKRin the ONLY lane for going straight ahead. The other two lanes are marked left-only – but that didn’t stop the prat in the green Mini Cooper (reg. no. K5 CKR) trying to use one of them to go ahead. I saw him/her swing in behind me, and then across to the inside lane (that’s the one for going right), and then cut back in again. You actually only need to use one lane to go straight ahead properly, but this prat used three – two of them incorrectly.

Later, driving to Long Eaton with a pupil, we were at the Bardill’s roundabout, going ahead Silver Estate - PN55 JJLdown the A52. As the lights changed, this pillock in a silver estate car (reg. no. PN55 JJL) was in the inside lane (marked for turning left into Toton). As the lights changed, he shot forward and cut everybody up to move into the middle lane for straight ahead. He quickly swung out into the outside lane, but his rather excessive speed was curtailed by another car.

Then, driving into the City Centre with a pupil, we stopped at the lights on the other side of Dark Fiat Punto - YH52 TZKLady Bay Bridge. We were in the middle lane behind a large transporter – unlike everyone else, who was piling into the right hand lane to try and get past the transporter, not considering the fact that he was there because he needed the turning circle. One or two managed to cut the transporter up, but not the dark Fiat Punto (reg. no. YH52 TZK), who got stuck behind, and who was even more put out when the transporter then signalled to move into his lane. The Punto wasn’t going to give way to anyone else, so he cut us up by moving across three lanes to get right into the left hand one. Of course, if he’d gone behind the transporter in  the first place, like we did, he wouldn’t have had to ignore me at the next set of red lights as I used universal sign language to describe his mental capacity.

And finally today, driving through Mapperley, we were at one of the dozens of sets of traffic Blue Ford Ka - X166 FLKlights our illustrious council has decided to replace (even though there was nothing wrong with the old ones). In other words, there were fair-sized queues because of the temporary three-way lights standing in for the complete absence of any kind of workforce. The normal two lanes is down to one, and as we pulled up, one woman cut us up to make sure she got through first. I didn’t get her reg. no. – but the second one who tried it pissed me off – another young woman with a zit-faced youth in the passenger seat (blue Ford Ka, reg. no. X166 FLK).

On the one hand, when you’re teaching pupils how to do things properly, these people make a mockery of the Highway Code and give full justification for the huge insurance premiums young drivers have to pay.

On the other hand, having to share the road with such troglodytes can be used as an excellent teaching opportunity. It’s so predictable how people are going to drive, you can actually say “now, watch this car in front – he’s likely to cut in”.

And they do!

Seriously, though, I have a lot of conversations with pupils about the large number of full licence holders who simply can’t do roundabouts (and other things) properly. Even the ones who think they’re being clever (the young males, usually) are only hiding their inability to do things the right way.

Over Half Use DVLA’s Digital Services

An email alert from the DSA says that more than half of all motorists use the DVLA’s digital services to tax their car or declare it off the road.

I was pleasantly surprised by this – but then I saw the bit about how “digital services” means online AND telephone services. I would imagine that the percentage using the actual “online” part is considerably less than the overall figure.

Still, Mike Penning finds a totally positive spin for the situation, claiming that more motorists want to deal with the DVLA at a time and place to suit them.

What exactly does he think they wanted previously? Or what does he think the other half want now? Do they want to deal with the DVLA at an extremely inconvenient time and place?

Maybe his daughter told him what to think, because Penning seems incapable of drawing logical conclusions out of anything for himself.

Test Pass: 17/2/2012

Tick!Well done to Javid, who passed today with just three driver faults. He was shaking at the end, but he did it!

The new licence will go nicely with the new job.

On a slightly different note, I only took the car to the Tigerwash last night (I always do before a test), but after a brief shower this morning it looks like it’s been dragged through a hedge backwards.

We need some heavy rain to wash all the salt they put down away.

Young Drivers… VERY Young Drivers

I just saw a skit on BBC Breakfast about teaching young drivers – as young as 11 – to drive. It is an initiative which is being championed by Quentin Willson (yes, two “ells”; media motoring “expert”).

In the skit, an in-car camera recorded an 11-year old with a huge grin exclaiming:

How cool is this?

…as he drove a car around an off-road circuit. Noddy Driving a CarJust remember that, because I will. That 11-year old was driving a car and exclaimed:

“HOW COOL IS THIS?”

It doesn’t take a huge leap of the imagination to transport him – or someone his age – from a private compound near to London to an inner city street with a gang of his mates, taking a car that doesn’t belong to him. Or on a Road Wars video, trying to evade the police as they try and catch him.

I’ve known about this scheme for some time. To be honest, I have always known it for what it is – a brilliantly clever way of selling driving lessons at almost £60 an hour! That’s around three times the normal cost of an hour’s lesson.

In that respect, I have no axe to grind with the scheme. It’s a business ploy to sell driving lessons at a ridiculously inflated price, but it is still a fantastic Unique Selling Point (USP). In fact, it’s quite similar to Mercedes Benz’s idea of selling expensive lessons in expensive cars to Hooray Henrys and Henriettas (or their provincial counterparts) in terms of its business model.

However, Willson and that 11-year old have now taken it to the next level for me. The next level downwards. You see, Willson has spoken in Parliament on this topic. He says (indeed, has said – in front of Parliament):

I passionately believe that we don’t teach young drivers to actually drive, only to pass a test, and one that’s woefully inadequate.

This is complete bollocks, and Willson ought to understand what he is talking about before shooting his mouth or, or committing himself to it so “passionately” (the same goes for driving instructors who embrace this scheme merely because it is aimed at children). Passion is often a mask for blindness and ignorance. I’m also fairly certain Willson has some links with the school mentioned, because I read somewhere else that his own son had taken lessons with them. To that end, he adds:

One of the most important things this Committee could do is to consider a revolutionary new young driver programme where driving is part of the school syllabus, much like citizenship. Teaching kids to drive at 17 is at their least receptive age. Their mindsets are already corrupted and corroded by video games like Grand Theft Auto and the worst excesses of Top Gear.

Seeing as he is a former presenter of Top Gear, is he not guilty of peddling “excesses” to the teenage masses out there for his own profit? Does he not do that now in the Sunday newspapers, as he drools over the latest supercars that less than 1% of the population could ever afford?

What does this misguided individual think will happen when kids’ minds have been filled with the desire to drive a car (and the impression that getting one is only just around the corner), AND THEN get “corrupted” by Grand Theft Auto and the “excesses” of Top Gear? Basically, you’ll be teaching them how to drive the cars they will end up nicking – and increasing the likelihood of the theft in the first place by creating a desire!

Can he not realise that a juvenile mind is a juvenile mind. In the entire recorded history of the world – and into pre-history – a juvenile has been a juvenile, requiring nurturing and protection on the way to adulthood, making reckless decisions of its own along the way. Six years (until you’re 17 and legal) is a hundred lifetimes when you are 11, and after having been tempted with HOW COOL IS THIS? experiences, the 21st century kid simply isn’t prepared to wait any longer than necessary.

Too many kids don’t wait even now. Car theft is unfortunately a typical juvenile male pastime – certainly one which too easily occurs as a viable activity to kill time to modern youth – and this scheme will just make it worse. A thousand times worse.

In any case, 17-year olds have a job remembering what they learnt for the Theory Test only two weeks earlier – I’m sure as hell that an 11-year old (even if he does wait 6 years) isn’t going to remember anything useful from pre-teen driving lessons once the testosterone kicks in and he hits 17. Even worse, he’ll probably THINK he knows everything – and what 17-year old doesn’t know it all already?

They will not wait! They will want to drive now. Those fools who start gushing that we should “pleeeeease think of the children” are totally ignorant of the likely consequences of teaching some things at too young an age. Teach them about sex at primary school, and you have an increase in teenage pregnancy. Teaching them to want a car – and want one badly – is not going to turn out any differently.

The real problem on the roads is illustrated by that thing I mentioned about kids not being prepared to wait. These days, they DON’T wait. They’ve been allowed to develop into ungovernable little savages (even the ones from Chelsea, Kensington, and those begat by TV presenters with inflated opinions about themselves).

All of this is a fault of the parents, who spoil their offspring with expensive treats – like driving lessons at 11, or in fancy cars.

Kids used to be taught road safety as part of cycling proficiency. But in just  the same way that the Three Rs have fallen by the wayside (and kids are pretty stupid as a result), is it any wonder they have no sense on the roads? Willson’s plan isn’t addressing the problem – it’s just papering over the cracks, and badly.

Road safety definitely ought to be part of the curriculum. Driving cars shouldn’t be. It’s for adults, not 11-year olds. And if anything is going to change, it should be the minimum age at which people can drive, because many 17-year olds are still of the “hang-around-outside-the-chip-shop-causing-trouble” mentality – but in cars instead of on BMX bikes.

Incidentally, I love the Statement of the Blindingly Obvious from the Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) that lack of driving experience – not age – is the reason why young drivers have crashes. But it also conveniently ignores the biggest problem: attitude.

The problem is far bigger and much deeper than people like Willson, the IAM, and all the bleeding-heart-children-come-first clowns are capable of recognising.

“Pay As You Go” Insurance

It’s interesting how certain individuals, groups, and organisations can dig the most bizarre meanings out of simple and honest facts if it fits in with their warped agendas.

I saw this article in the newsfeeds from This is Money, about what they call “pay as you drive” insurance. They refer specifically to the AA’s Drivesafe Box, which I commented on recently, pointing out that everyone who gets one starts off on 50 points, and this goes up or down depending on how fast you go, how sharply you turn corners, and so on.

They then add:

But drivers living in areas where there are many winding roads — such as the countryside — will have to work harder to keep a good score, as insurers view these areas as more risky.

That is total speculation. Technology is a lot smarter than many journalists – something many journalists appear to be blissfully unaware of.

Mickey Mouse Fly-fishingBut it isn’t from This is Money’s mouth that this rubbish originates. It is the Countryside Alliance [broken link] – that group “representing the countryside” – which advocates, among other things, the legalisation of tearing foxes apart with hounds for the perverted pleasures of country types, shooting anything that moves, using whippets to tear rabbits apart “to control them”, the defence of its members who illegally kill Hen Harriers (a bird of prey) because the Harrier kills Grouse (which they farm to shoot), and so on.

One can only guess at their take on Hare Coursing and Badger Baiting to “control” the populations of those particular animals.

I also seem to remember that they took up graffiti – painting slogans across roads and stuff – when the original fox-hunting ban was being pushed through. They certainly stuck a huge number of their flyers up illegally on traffic signs (you still see some of them around). And they are not particularly vocal about the blatant violation of that law by hunts around the country whose members still get their sexual kicks out of chasing and killing foxes.

So, on this current matter, they say that it is unfair to penalise people for living in rural areas!

…we are also concerned that rural roads can be tricky to drive, so this device should recognise and not penalise rural drivers unfairly.

It doesn’t. It won’t. It penalises people for driving like pillocks – you could spend 100% of your time on rural roads and still get a good rating out of the thing, even without having to change anything.

It seems like these village idiots have got it into their heads that the AA’s device, which monitors how you turn corners (among other things), actually penalises you for going round them. What it does is give you a black mark if you try and go round them on two wheels!

Now, if the Countryside Alliance’s members are wont to drive that badly – speeding and such like (which of course, we all know they aren’t) – then they deserve to pay higher insurance. But they aren’t going to get penalised just for driving on country roads or going round corners. And while we’re on the subject, I don’t recall the Countryside Alliance throwing a hissy fit over the Co-op’s Smartbox, which uses the same technology.

Mind you, assuming they have been quoted in context, the AA hasn’t helped itself – the article doesn’t quote them directly, but says that the AA “concedes rural dwellers could pay more.” I suspect there was much more to that in the interview.

These devices are aimed at boy racers. Just because they might also happen to be young farmers doesn’t make them immune to the effects of juvenile testosterone.

AA Launches “Drivesafe Box”

WARNING: Very old post and out of date.

I saw this article on motoring.co.uk (dead link), which announces that the AA is launching a device called the “Drivesafe Box” to help young drivers.

Drivesafe Box - from motoring.co.ukApparently, the box is about the size of a pack of playing cards, according to the piece, and it records the speed, types of roads travelled, time of day, and so on. The owner of the car can then log on to a website and monitor how they are performing.

The AA says that most people can improve their driving and the Drivesafe Box can help them to do it.

The device also provides crash, theft, and breakdown alerts, and the AA says parents will be interested in these features.

The story is a little confusing, because the Drivesafe appears to be very similar to the Co-op’s Smartbox (which they don’t do anymore), which is specifically designed to lower insurance premiums through the Co-op. However, although the AA spokesperson is director of AA Insurance, there is no specific mention of reduced premiums from the AA – but at the end of the article they say…

The new AA Drivesafe will identify the safest drivers and reward them.

They – that is, motoring.co.uk – really ought to clear that up, but either way it is an excellent application of technology. Until these things are mandatory for all new drivers, though. they’re always going to seem a little gimmicky – but that’s not to take anything away from either the Drivesafe or the Smartbox. I think they’re brilliant.

When I searched the AA’s site, it is clear that having a box fitted (link also no longer correct) IS part of a reduced insurance premiums plan.

As I said, a great idea. It HAS to be made mandatory.

Idiocy And Arrogance

Two minor annoyances on lessons today – both involving women drivers.

Blue Ford Ka, Reg. CP07 NZTFirst of all, driving through West Bridgford, I was teaching a pupil how to negotiate roundabouts – in particular, when to go and when not to. This task was made all the more difficult by a woman (a girl, actually) driving a blue Ford Ka (reg. no. CP07 NZT ), who was clearly driving too fast for the area, and who didn’t want to stop at the roundabout no matter who was there. I bet mummy and daddy don’t know you drive like that, my dear.

Silver Mercedes A-class, Reg. No. S503 ONRThe next was in Long Eaton. I was turning right off the Nottingham Road and had just reached the turning lane. However, a woman in a silver Mercedes A-class (reg. no. S503 ONR ) emerging from the road I was turning into obviously wasn’t aware of priorities when emerging. She was one of those slightly older women – probably had a kid in the back, but still drives like a moron – who behave like this.

It’s hard to justify to pupils why they should drive the way I am teaching them to when people like this keep demonstrating how you can behave like a complete prat and still hold a driving licence.

Masterchef

Bit of advice to the BBC for the next series of Masterchef… stop trying to create a bloody romantic drama out of it!

We can do without the stupid tinkly music and fade-outs of people who get booted off. Just get rid of them – don’t take ten minutes over it.

And stop recruiting people who cry when they lose, and cry when they win! Especially blokes.

It’s about food. Stick to that.