Reducing The Cost Of Motoring

25/10/2013
DOAADI
ADI, Driving Tests, DSA, News, Transport

This story has been covered in the press and in a DSA email alert, Apparently, the government (I’m not sure if they mean Mickey or Donald) has decided Government (coalition) headgear kitthat drivers need their help. According to The Mail, this means freezing the MoT charge until 2015, erecting signs along motorways to warn motorists of rip-off prices, and “reviewing” the cost of the driving test and provisional licence. Oh, and some stuff about stopping liars and lawyers cashing in on whiplash claims.

The one about road signs is already the only issue that matters as far as The Mail is concerned.

But in all honesty, it is just a joke. The MoT costs nearly £55, and if I remember correctly that went up from the previous price of £38 about four years ago. An MoT is only required for cars older than three years, and it has to be renewed annually after the first one, so if the price went up now it would only jump by £10-£20. That would equate to a massive additional outlay equivalent up to 5½ pence per day.

I think we’re all grateful to the government for freezing that one until 2015 (even though it will then go up by a larger amount to make up for lost time)!

Then there is the plan to erect illuminated price signs along the motorways so that you know how much it costs to fill up at the services en route.

Ministers hope it will highlight the sums being charged by some garages that believe they have a ‘captive market’, and encourage them to compete for custom.

So, these would be illuminated signs like the ones you get outside garages on non-motorway routes? Fantastic idea, and well worth the hundreds of A forecourt sign - non-motorwaythousands of pounds of MPs’ time which were no doubt required to come up with it!

Returning to Planet Earth, there is then the “review” of the cost of the driving test and a provisional licence. The test costs £62 at the moment, and somehow I can’t really imagine the price going down. Of course, a lot of instructors out there – especially the ones who have recently been trying to get into politics themselves – believe that the test is too expensive on the grounds that the hourly pro rata rate is more than instructors can command for lessons. Some will even go so far as to mention how the test only cost about £5 back in the 70s – even though £5 in 1970 would be worth £65.50 in 2013 money! Even after decimalisation the equivalent today would have been £35 or more. Therefore, the test has not gone up by that much.

But above all that, the structure of the part of government that manages tests is far too bureaucratic to justify being able to cut the price, and the only possible direction – apart from freezing it artificially – is upwards.

Oh yes. And the provisional licence costs £50. It is paid for once by 99% of the population.

If the idiots really wanted to cut costs for motorists they could do two things:

cut fuel duty

prosecute Nottingham City Council for commencing protracted simultaneous road works across the City

Women Better Than Men At Multitasking

25/10/2013
DOAADI
ADI, News, Training

This article from the BBC suggests that the long-held belief that women are better than men at multitasking was a “myth”. But it goes on to report that new research has shown that it’s true after all: women are better at it – in some things, at least..

Harley Quinn - female joker card imageIt’s funny, but I have never regarded it as a myth. I have always told my pupils that women are generally better than men at multitasking – but I’ve then explained precisely what is meant by “multitasking”, because that’s where the real confusion lies. The conversation usually comes about early on, perhaps when learning how to coordinate the pedals, or maybe when trying a manoeuvre like the turn in the road for the first time.

When you ask a pupil about multitasking, they’ve all heard of it, and they all know about the men vs. women thing. But almost all of them associate it with doing two or more things at the same time, and that’s definitely not what it is. You see, when they try a turn in the road for the first time they will often try to control the speed of the car and steer at the same time – with the net result that neither operation is completed properly. Or when it comes to stopping near the kerb they’ll be trying to steer, and brake, and watch the kerb all at the same time (incidentally, this is where hitting the gas pedal by mistake is most likely to occur) – again, none of these sub-tasks gets completed properly

The problem lies in the fact that no one can do two or more separate things simultaneously – that is, at exactly the same time. What they can do, however, is quickly switch between the individual sub-tasks which make up each overall task. So both tasks get completed by doing a bit of one, then a bit of the other, then the next bit of the first one… and so on. And it is here where women are generally – though not always – more adept than men. It’s also one reason why men and women can become frustrated with each other, when the man focuses on one task or conversation, whereas the woman jumps between them.

You can’t pigeonhole human behaviour as easily as all this, though – and definitely not when it comes to driving. In terms of spatial awareness, for example, men generally have the edge. Women generally have the edge when it comes to not having over-inflated egos, though. Every difference between the sexes is just a generality, and when you add them all up everything gets smoothed out and there’s not that much difference. However, as I mentioned in the Tears of a Clown article, some people have emotional jokers up their sleeves which often reinforces the stereotypical views.

Tears Of A Clown

24/10/2013
DOAADI
ADI, General, Training

The post about my most recent test pass got me thinking. You see, when you do this job you meet all kinds of people – and lots of them – so you build up Tears of a Clown by Victoria Frances Arta sort of statistical image of people in general. There is one small group that causes the most grief for me as an instructor, and it’s the one which has its emotions very near the surface and ready to bubble over at the slightest prompt.

This over-emotional group – however small it may be overall – does seem to consist mainly of… women. There, I’ve said it. And it’s simply a statement of fact.

Having said that, I do care what pupils think, and on the relatively rare occasions when one of them breaks down in tears I’m always worried that it might be due to something I’ve said or done. Of course, technically it always IS something I’ve said or done, because if they weren’t in the car with me in the first place then they probably wouldn’t be crying. But I’m a scientist, and I’m logical enough to be able to work out whether something really is my fault or not, so I don’t worry for too long over it.

In one extreme case some years ago I had a German pupil. Right from the start she came over as loud, confident, and full of herself. She didn’t like having any sort of fault pointed out at the best of times (when you get someone like that, you wonder why they’re paying for bloody lessons in the first place), but sometimes she’d get in the car and her eyes would already be red from crying. On those lessons she was a liability. She’d be flinging the car round corners without any thought for what might be coming the other way, and clutch control was out of the window. At these times you just couldn’t talk to her without her either getting angry or bursting into tears (sometimes both). I worked out that this happened every month – like clockwork.

Now, the $64,000 question is: what does an insignificant male do in these situations? It’s a complete no-win scenario when someone is so emotionally unstable, because if you bottle it and don’t pick up their faults they’ll accuse you of ripping them off, and if you do pick up their faults they’re in tears. If they leave you, you can bet your bottom dollar that their next instructor will be told that you were “always shouting at them”. A mere male doesn’t have the option to put his arms around someone (not without ending up on the front page of The Sun, anyway), and this is even less of an option when you’re dealing with someone who was probably a founder member of the militant wing of the Teutonic Women’s Liberation Front. You can’t “identify” the cause,  even though both of you know damned well what the cause is (that would get you on the TV as well as in the papers).

Men – especially driving instructors – are programmed to give advice whether people want it or not, whereas women are programmed to reject all advice by default, especially if it’s from a man. Women also have the additional option of tearing the man’s liver out if they’re in a bad mood over something when he offers his advice. I gather it’s got something to do with wanting “empathy”, but it’s bloody hard to sit there nodding empathetically when your life is flashing before your eyes as some maniac with messed up biochemistry is taking every corner on two wheels.

The famous statement that you can’t please all of the people all of the time was never more apt, and I’d go so far as to add that you can’t please some of the people any of the time.

The German woman was an extreme case, but pupils crying when they have made even the smallest mistake isn’t that uncommon. One recent pass of mine had a habit of doing it, even up to the last lesson before her test. With her, it was a fine balance between anger and tearfulness (it usually started with the tears, followed by the anger), but the problem was still as difficult to manage for me. I mean, what can you say or do? It was only on the way back from her test that she confessed that she cries whenever something goes wrong for her. Feeling on safer ground this time (she was, after all, holding her Pass Certificate and wearing a big shiny smile) I commented that whenever it happened I always got the impression that she was blaming me for something. I was slightly put out that she didn’t deny this as emphatically as I would have liked, but this defensiveness is another aspect of the problem.

Another example from several years ago involved a young girl. She was a great driver, but she was also a serial test failer (six times, and always for something different – in fact, she was the one whose mother said to her just before a test “now remember what we told you, Sarah: drive SLOWLY everywhere”, and within 2 minutes of us moving off she applied this when joining a busy dual carriageway). After each of her test fails the volume of tears she cried as she rested her head against the window all the way home must have rusted the door panels on my car.

A current pupil has her test coming up, and I have no real worries because she is also a good driver. However, a few days ago she made a couple of small mistakes during a manoeuvre and suddenly was in tears. As usual I felt terrible, but to be fair to her she was strangely upbeat about it (this is another thing the male of the species can’t understand: how the waterworks seem to be able to be turned on and off at will). We discussed it on the next lesson and she told me that a few days later her husband told her that the firemen dealing with the Australian bushfires had been feeding water to Koalas, which made her break down again! What the hell can you (as a man) do in situations like this?

I think that in many cases it has a lot to do with upbringing. Somehow, I can’t imagine that the typical Iron Age woman burst into tears over insignificant details – if she had, we’d all be extinct by now. The problem with many youngsters is that they’ve been mollycoddled for 17 years and they simply don’t know how to handle any sort of failure, however small it may be. With many of them, crying is a form of emotional blackmail that they’ve grown up using because – certainly with mummy and daddy – it has always paid dividends. In the adult world, though, it often doesn’t get them what they want.

Buying A Car After Your Test

22/10/2013
DOAADI
ADI, Driving Tests, General, Transport

I’ve had a run of passes recently, and on the run up to their tests many pupils ask for advice on buying a car. It’s a difficult question to answer, because Honda Civicwe’ve all heard the stories about dodgy second-hand motors.

Some pupils can’t afford much, and what I tend to do is point out various car dealers as we drive around on our lessons. There are a lot of them springing up, and many specialise is very cheap cars – starting at below £1,000. However, it is definitely a case of “buyer beware”, and I never recommend one dealer over another (unless it’s a big one that I have experience of). One of my current pupils has dealt with one of these cheap car outlets and had a really bad experience (I saw the car, and it had a missing interior mirror and the gear stick was loose).

But it’s much easier to make a few recommendations when someone has a little more money to spend, because then you can point out the main dealerships – or approved second-hand car dealers. You can also find plenty of online resources to help you find the right car, like this one for used Honda Civics. Of course, a Civic might be too big for some people, so you can search for Jazzes and other models as you see fit. If you get the right site, all the links are to approved dealers, so you have that extra level of security.

These days, most manufacturers also have a strong social networking presence, and this often appeals to the younger driver. Sticking with Honda, they have Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube pages, as well as the ubiquitous main website. Judging from the activity on them – particularly Facebook – younger drivers really do use these things to find out information.

Of course, no one is saying that you have to buy from these sources, but having them there to browse through certainly opens up possibilities.

I had a pupil pass her test today, and the first thing she mentioned driving back from the test centre was how she now had to make the decision about which car to buy. She couldn’t afford a new one – but she had a budget with her boyfriend of a few thousand, and that opens up a lot of possible options. I also mentioned to her the lease option, or the car auction route (we have a big auctioneer with a Nottingham branch). Again, these are just two of many ways of sourcing a car these days.

When I see my ex-pupils driving around in their own car – whether it is a new one as a gift from wealthy parents, or a jalopy they have been saving up for – it gives me a warm feeling inside (and it’s not just from the chilli con carne I had for supper). If I helped them find the car, that feeling is just that little bit stronger.

The World Needs To Get A Grip

22/10/2013
DOAADI
Computers & Tech, General, News

This is a very old post! It’s attracted a few hits in May 2021. It was relevant at the time I wrote it eight years ago!

I remember a story from my childhood about The Emperor’s New Clothes. It was a Hans Christian Anderson story about two weavers who are commissioned to produce a new suit of clothes for the Emperor, telling him it is so grand that those of lesser status won’t be able to see it. The Emperor displays his new suit until a child in the crowd yells out that he is naked. Only then do all the sycophants in the crowd realise they have been duped.

Facebook is currently doing its best to behave like the two deceitful and irresponsible weavers in that story.

It has allowed beheading videos back on its site – yes, you are reading that right: videos of people having their heads cut off by savage, sub-humans who are lower than the lowest pig in the dirtiest pigsty. Facebook’s pathetic defence is that “users should be free to watch and condemn such videos.” However, they are “considering added warnings”. Isn’t that good of them?

Facebook is US-based. Barack Obama needs to realise what is going on here, and tear up a few of the more stupid pages in the American Constitution once and for all. Gun ownership is one, and the American interpretation of “free speech” is another. A bunch of zealots and religious nuts showing the murder of innocent people in graphic detail is not, in any shape or form, “free speech”. The only people who argue that it is are usually engaged in highly dubious activities themselves, which they are seeking to protect. Facebook, for its part, will gain many more visitors by allowing bloody mutilation to be shown, and especially by allowing it to be shown to children.

Lunatics from religious groups like those who would post such images should be hunted down and shot. Not given advertising space by Facebook.

When will people realise that they’ve been told by Facebook that they’ve effectively been given a new suit of clothes than are invisible to lesser minds? There’s no need to try and be clever about it (look at some of the Beeb site’s users’ comments – why do people who are stupid try to pretend they are not in public?) Facebook is no better than the two weavers in the Hans Christian Anderson story. And that’s all there is to it.

Facebook ought to be renamed “Facesbook” – because it appears to wear any number of them as it sees fit. My guess is that two is the preferred number.

Having allowed a video of a beheading to be shown with the pathetic excuse that people need to be allowed to make up their own minds, it has now taken the video down. According to this new article, Facebook changed its policy on showing graphic violence back in July, but:

…did not think the public would be interested to know.

It’s funny, isn’t it, how Facebook can be so dead set against censorship when it means losing visitors, but prepared to censor pretty significant policy decisions with weak excuses like this. Precisely what chimpanzee employees decided that the public “wouldn’t be interested” isn’t made clear – but I think the world and his dog will see straight through it and realise that the real reason was that Facebook knew damned well there would be a public outcry and that it would be better to conceal the decision.

Apparently, they have been tripping over each other to change the policy without exactly reversing it. And this time they’ve put it in a press release – which they should have done the first time. Even so, you can see the utter bollocks that comes from the mouths of companies like Facebook these days:

First, when we review content that is reported to us, we will take a more holistic look at the context surrounding a violent image or video, and will remove content that celebrates violence.

Second, we will consider whether the person posting the content is sharing it responsibly, such as accompanying the video or image with a warning and sharing it with an age-appropriate audience.

For anyone who doesn’t know, a “holistic look” simply means that they will have a meeting and come to a consensus opinion about any given complaint. And since the ones involved in arriving at consensus in those meetings will be the same idiots who are trying to defend the obvious moral problem with showing online murders in the first place, I wouldn’t hold your breaths. All those in the meetings will be New Age freaks who typify the staff at Facebook. Now doubt when consensus is reached they’ll all have a group hug, then go and talk to the trees and flowers.

What has the world come to when jackasses like Facebook can show videos of people being murdered – and defend it?

Test Pass: 21/10/2013

22/10/2013
DOAADI
Driving Tests

Well done Kelly, who passed first time today with just 5 driver faults. Another satisfying one because I taught her from scratch, and doubly satisfying by Tickvirtue of something I’d forgotten about until she mentioned it in the car as we were travelling back afterwards.

On the very first lesson she was in tears after we ventured on to a quiet main road late one Sunday afternoon. Just being there turned out to be enough to turn her to jelly – she discovered she had a real phobia about driving. But we pushed through it and she reached test standard after 40 hours (and she’s in her late 20s, so that puts her even further ahead of the average).

Insult To Injury

20/10/2013
DOAADI
ADI, General, Transport

Further to the last post about Nottingham’s road works, driving through Keyworth today to and from lessons I encountered two sets of temporary lights.

One set was on Bunny Lane, and was due to the housing development they’re building on green belt. The lights didn’t really need to be there – but without them, of course, there’d be no hold up for traffic, and that wouldn’t satisfy either the Council or the builders.

Another set – this time, three-way, which means longer delays – was on Normanton Lane at the junction with Nicker Hill (access to Nicker Hill from that side is blocked). Only a month or two ago, Normanton Lane was closed for a week for some sort of road works, the results of which seemed to be some new kerbstones under the railway bridge. Three-way lights mean that it is effectively half-closed. This is yet more utilities work.

I use Keyworth as a way to and from areas in the south of the city – a way of avoiding the Tramicide instigated by those halfwits at Nottingham City Council (NCC). So now – in addition to all that listed in the previous story – they have sanctioned this. And don’t forget that it’s only the incidents I have encountered – there will be loads more for other motorists to have to endure.

NCC doesn’t have a clue. It appears to be more and more criminally incompetent with every set of road works that appears.

Still More Nottingham Road Works!

20/10/2013
DOAADI
ADI, General, Transport

The idiots at Nottingham City Council (NCC) just haven’t got a clue! From Monday, the Bardills roundabout on the A52 towards Derby will see the start of three weeks of major road works.

The A52 is (or was) the only way to get to Long Eaton without being gridlocked by overrunning tram works in Beeston and Chilwell. But not anymore. You Nottingham City Council employeesee, the A52 along Clifton Boulevard is currently backed up to Clifton Bridge every rush hour, and from anywhere between 3pm (when the mummies start the school run) and 7.30pm (when the flow finally eases) entirely as a result of Tramicide (that’s a word I coined to simplify what the tram stands for). Of course, if there is an event on at Nottingham’s Ice Arena – one of the worst-sited entertainment venues in the known universe – then traffic can be much worse, as city-bound roads also become gridlocked.

Much of the ring road traffic is trying to get on to University Boulevard, which is gridlocked due to tram works.That which isn’t is trying to get on to Derby Road to go to… well, Derby. Or to Strelley and Broxtowe, which are blocked off at Aspley Lane due to part 1 of “ring road junction improvements”. That which remains on the Middleton Boulevard will notice a recently-erected sign declares that the next part of “ring road improvements” is due to begin this month before any single one of the others is anywhere near completion.

And to make matters worse, there is a sign on the A60 as you approach the Nottingham Knight roundabout – some 8 miles from Bardills – which advises motorists of the road works and to find an “alternative route”. Where, for God’s sake. The imbeciles have got every “alternative route” blocked!

It’s pathetic. Such incompetence is hard to imagine in any single organisation or individual, and yet NCC appears to be staffed completely by such individuals. So this story on the BBC website makes you smile in an ironic sort of way.

Just a reminder of an article I wrote back in November last year – almost 12 months ago to the day. Cllr Jane Urquhart was then quoted regarding the impending closure of the main Chilwell road:

We’re going to maintain the maximum possible access… we’re continuing to have the discussions and work with our County Council highways colleagues and the tram project team…

Well, as I say, a year down the line, Chilwell is STILL closed, and so are numerous other roads in Beeston and Chilwell. All have been long term closures, with absolutely no end in sight. Exactly the same is true of Clifton where, I believe, the Clifton Chinese on Varney Road has closed permanently due to the loss of business caused by tram works there. Other retailers have previously mentioned their own reduced takings – in some cases down from hundreds of pounds a day (in Clifton) to just a few tens. And Wilford is similarly gridlocked by the insane attempts to “maintain the maximum possible access”.

All the traffic prevented from going one way, and then another, and then yet another, is being funnelled into an ever decreasing number of bottlenecks. That’s why Nottingham is at a standstill every night. And as the BBC report says, many of these closures are expected to last into next year.

So it is hilarious to see Urquhart – now a much braver soul than the frightened rabbit she was this time last year – pontificating one more time.

All the works are part of a £750m investment to build a better Nottingham and deliver a world-class integrated transport system for the city.

The work we are doing causes disruption while we are doing it but it’s always our aim of giving us a better transport system for the future.

One thing that hasn’t changed is the utter bollocks she habitually spouts. It is difficult to fathom how such ineffectual specimens as her rise to positions like the one she holds, when they are clearly useless at what they do (and the growing road chaos caused by the group of which she is the “leader” is proof enough of that statement). Her idea of “better” is six steps back, then one step forward. And that’s if we’re lucky.

The tram – both the original, and Phase II (which is primarily responsible for the current chaos) is a monumental waste of money and resources. Once the gleam wears off the new stuff, it looks shabby and ill-kept. All the original tram installations look filthy, and the trains themselves a mess as they don their oft-changed advertising livery. The green LED illuminations on the bridges are long gone (or broken). The trains are nearly always empty – even if they are busy during rush hour, it’s only on one or two stages, and the average is pulled down by the dearth of passengers 80% of the time. That’s why fares have gone up to the point where passengers are seeking alternative modes of transport. Trams are NOT environmentally friendly to start with – and they are even less so when there is no one on them.

And as a closing comment, out on the roads today I saw two Severn Trent repair sites with the ubiquitous temporary lights – and a flood on Mapperley Plains at the junction with Coppice Road, which is really going to cause hold ups when Severn Trent dig up that road.

Test Pass: 17/10/2013

17/10/2013
DOAADI
Driving Tests

Well done to David, who passed first time today with just 4 driver faults. This was one of the especially satisfying ones because a) he’s dyslexic, and b) I Ticktaught him from scratch.

It was funny coming back. We hit school run traffic and I asked him at one point if we could get to his road via the next turn on the right. He said we could, so I took the turn off. Once we were back on the main road near his house we approached a roundabout and he held his hand out and said “straight ahead at the lights” – like a seasoned instructor.

I turned to him and said “I’ll make you bleeding well walk in a minute!”