Angel of Death Approaches

28/04/2011
DOAADI
ADI, Funny, General

Just like one of the warnings visited on the Egyptians at the time of Moses, according to the Express we are due a visit from the Angel of Death!

Basically, some pollen is possibly going to blow over the UK from Europe.

According to the Express – and all the numpties who have picked up the story and are busy repeating it:

  • the cloud is bigger than the Pacific Ocean
  • it consists entirely of Birch pollen
  • it is intelligent, and will catch the ferry if the winds change, because it definitely wants to get to the UK
  • Europe consists entirely of Birch trees
  • Birch pollen can strip the flesh off a whole elephant in less than 20 minutes
  • Hay fever is only caused by Birch pollen
  • we don’t have any Birch trees in the UK
  • Birch trees are an EU menace
  • Birch trees in all other countries produce pollen that is 10,000 times more acidic than that of Birch trees that would grow in the UK – if we had any
  • the morning after the visitation, all cars will be stripped to bare metal
  • the first born male child in every household is at risk

The truth of the matter is that due to the dry weather and prevailing winds, pollen levels will be high over the next few days. And Birch pollen is more abrasive than it is acidic.That’s all. But it is boring when you put it like that..

I mean, let’s face facts here. Last year, half of Iceland fell on us after that Eyjafjallajökull (I love than name – no one can pronounce it) volcano erupted, and that ash was lots more abrasive than Birch pollen. Every year, a whole truck load of the Sahara gets dumped on us, and we know how abrasive sand is. Heaven knows what else comes over on the wind that isn’t newsworthy. All you get is a load of crap on the car first thing in the morning, and that’s hardly Biblical, is it?

Oh, yeah. And can anyone remember the last time something like this happened that meant the paint spontaneously fell off every car in the UK?

Amateur Detectives Abound

28/04/2011
DOAADI
ADI, Driving Tests, DSA

I wrote recently about how a third-rate Coventry “newsletter” had discovered how to use the freedom of information act to dig out pointless personal facts about private citizens and then start waffling on about them.

Now, another one in Eastbourne, Sussex has learnt how to do it and reports that a female learner from that area has failed for the 25th time. Ironically, it says she suffered “the heartache” of failing – I wonder if they think they made her feel better now they’ve dug it out into the open? They mention the centre involved, and I suspect they are doing everything possible to identify her by name. It’s what newspapers – even pretend ones like this – do for a living.

They go on to mention that 109 drivers have failed at least 11 tests each. They mention that a man has failed 22 times, and another has failed 19 times. They also mention that someone failed their theory test for the 35th time, and that another passed it at the 33rd attempt.

As always, they finish with:

Do you know any of the serial failing test drivers? Call the newsdesk on 01273 544519 or email news@theargus.co.uk

How low can they go?

Theory Test Closure. More Shock! Horror!

25/04/2011
DOAADI
ADI, DSA

Basingstoke’s theory testing facilities are closing down and being moved to Reading. The practical test is not moving.

For the record, it is only 17 miles or so to Reading from Basingstoke.

Of course, to anyone living in Basingstoke, this is “ridiculous”. A “shock move” which has “annoyed” driving instructors (what the bloody hell the location of the theory testing facility has to do with driving instructors is anyone’s guess).

The closure is for simple reasons:

DSA says the closure decision will save money as not enough theory tests are taken in Basingstoke.

The theory test centre in The Square, Basing View, has the capacity to hold 20,000 tests each year, but from 2010 to 2011, just 7,338 were taken, of which 6,467 were car candidates.

Quite simple.

Mind you, one instructor’s logic is highly amusing:

It’s ridiculous. They have kept the practical test centre because there’s too much work to close it, so surely they have the same amount of work for the theory test centre.

Yeah, everyone passes first time, and no one moves in or out of an area. And you can have as many driving examiners operating from a test centre as you can computers sitting in an office! Duh!

Running on Empty

23/04/2011
DOAADI
ADI, General, World

Petrol PumpsThis American story reports that automobile associations are noticing an increase in roadside assistance calls due to running out of fuel. It is attributed to rising fuel costs and the recession.

What particularly caught my attention was the price of fuel in the USA. The average price is $3.85 per US gallon – equivalent to £2.33 at the time of writing.

A US gallon is equivalent to 3.79 litres, so that works out at $1.02 per litre. Or 62p.

I filled up (again) today, and paid 133.9p per litre. I know that around 60p of that was duty, and another 23p was VAT.

We are being royally screwed in the UK.

The Americans should count themselves lucky, particularly when you consider that they also have a much lower cost of living than over here.

DSA Strikes Averted?

23/04/2011
DOAADI
ADI, Driving Tests, DSA

Socialist Worker Online is obviously disappointed that there apparently won’t be any strikes over the DSA’s original plans to close its Cardiff offices. So it has to resort to extreme smugness:

DSA strike votes wins a retreat

A strike vote in the Driving Standards Agency has meant that management has backed off over a number of issues. Significantly, management has dropped its plans to close the department’s Cardiff office.

I don’t think we’ve heard the last of this one just yet. The kind of people involved in this want to strike over something, and the DSA is going to have to cut back somewhere if it is keeping the Cardiff offices open, so it’s only a matter of time before something makes the union members spit their dummy out again.

For one thing, there’s no mention of Newcastle – and that was also involved in the original story.

EDIT 20/6/2011: Don’t think it’s over, cos it ain’t.  The union is determined to get a strike if it kills it.

EDIT 27/6/2011: There will be celebrations on union committees across the UK tonight, as it looks like the possibility of the strikes being called off has been successfully repelled.

Woman Banned for 40 Miles Bad Driving

22/04/2011
DOAADI
ADI, General

After that story about the Chinese authorities cracking down and bad driving, right on cue comes a story from the UK to illustrate why we ought to be taking the problem a little more seriously as well.

Kelly Spencer was banned from driving as a result of a 40 mile journey at around 1.50pm in the afternoon, which saw her weaving across 3 lanes of traffic. Other cars were having to brake and dust was being thrown up as she careered along the M5 near Exeter. Police in an unmarked car had to keep other motorists back. At one stage, she nearly missed a junction and narrowly avoided the barrier. She eventually failed to corner properly on a minor road and ended up in a driveway.

She blamed being tired.

Her defence claimed she was exhausted after caring for her sick child and hadn’t realised how tired she was and how badly she was driving.

In my opinion, they always use the emotional card in court – if it isn’t a sick child it’s being pregnant, or splitting up with a partner.

Fortunately, the judge is one of the few still of this earth, and he wasn’t having any of it:

Judge Erik Salomonsen told the defendant: “The circumstances are almost incredible that anyone could have driven in such a condition and not realised.”

Yes, they are incredible. Almost as incredible as the excuses, and the additional “responsible job, good character, not been in trouble before” nonsense.

Even more incredible is the fact that Spencer had travelled with her husband to Somerset to pick up a new car. She drove the new car, and he the old one. It was during the journey back that the incidents described happened. You’d have thought he might have noticed something, wouldn’t you? But he was “unaware” of events.

The only problem is she has been banned for a paltry 18 months. This where the Chinese have the right idea with lifetime bans.

Someone who is unable to identify that they are too tired to stand up should never be allowed near a car again.

I’ve been tired in the car on motorways before, and one thing I do know is that once you have to start thinking again on minor roads (or the busy motorway), you wake right up. It is the motorway at night which is the biggest problem – when it is quiet. It’s then that you get off and get some fresh air and something to drink (of find somewhere to sleep).

You’d have to be almost comatose for it to happen in the daytime, on a weekday afternoon. So much so that you probably wouldn’t be able to even open the car or get in it!

They’re Still At It!

21/04/2011
DOAADI
ADI, DSA

The Times & Star is still on the case of the impending move of theory testing facilities from Workington to Carlisle.

Let’s just remind ourselves what the DSA has said. Again. And I’ll do it in bigger letters this time:

There are no plans to withdraw the practical test service from Workington.

This latest salvo once again ignores that pretty clear statement. Again. It reports on a meeting involving around 50 driving instructors (I can’t imagine anyone having a meeting because they agree with or are neutral about the move) to discuss the transfer.

The MP, Tony Cunningham, who is carrying the standard over this says:

The reaction we’ve had from the public is strongly in our favour. They don’t want to see another service from the west of the county moved to Carlisle.

Moving the centres would mean long trips for people when money is tight and they could get held up in traffic and lose their exam time.

It’s expensive for young people so it’s only right that they have a centre close to their homes to be able to sit the exams.

I’m not sure what this is supposed to prove. Yes, given the choice people wouldn’t want it to transfer. Of course, given the choice, people would want the facility on every housing estate, in every village, and among every isolated community – but what we want isn’t always what we get, usually because we are being unreasonable in our demands. So although there might be “support”, that doesn’t prove that the decision to move the facility is wrong.

So it comes down to money. I wonder how he thinks keeping the facility in Workington is going to be financed? The DSA has said the centre isn’t cost effective (that means it costs more to run it than is justified by the number of tests carried out there), so they either close it… or find the money some other way. Such as by increasing the test fees or, if the Mickey Mouse coalition finances it, by increasing taxes somewhere.

And if one stays open, everyone else has a precedent to call on when campaigning over any changes in their neighbourhood.

He goes on:

If it [the theory test facility] does go then there is a chance that the driving tests will go too…

I refer again to the quote in big letters above.

The Times & Star has its own comment on the situation. For its own part, it is trying to link in every closure or change to local services with this totally separate situation, and proceeds on the assumption that the practical test will also transfer.

One last time (for today) I refer to the quote in big letter, above.

iPhone Spies on Users

21/04/2011
DOAADI
Computers & Tech, World

Apple iPhone - the spy in your pocketThis is hot news at the moment. The iPhone apparently records everywhere you have been in a file that you can’t delete.

Privacy groups are outraged (I agree with them to a large extent). Australian police are ecstatic though. Also covered in the Independent.

Apple has shot itself in the foot again.

Apparently, this facility was introduced in the last OS update. You’d think they’df have warned people, wouldn’t you?

At the moment in the UK there is a huge row over phone tapping by the News of the World newspaper. A judge has ordered test cases to be heard. Almost no one (except the News of the World) believes that secretly tapping peoples phones to publish dirt on them isn’t bad.

Perhaps Apple will be able to explain how this is any different?

Driver Training – Chinese Style

21/04/2011
DOAADI
ADI, World

First of all, there was this story in the Los Angeles Times – reporting how new drivers in China were being shown actual footage and photos of real accidents to shock them into being careful on the roads.

Zheng Hao watched a video titled “Care About Life: Follow the Traffic Rules”…

They were assaulted by 30 minutes of gruesome footage showing crushed cyclists, pedestrians flung into the air like rag dolls, charred human remains and victims’ families grieving hysterically.

“The women in the class were sobbing afterward,” said Zheng, 21. “Even the guys were disturbed.”

Compare this with those videos the DSA releases and it’s like comparing a Disney cartoon to a David Cronenberg horror movie. But I’m not knocking it – if it works, why hold back?

Then came this next story – actually from China (CCTV) – about new, tougher drink driving laws. They’re not approved yet, but if they are possible punishments include:

  • permanent licence revocation
  • higher fines
  • imprisonment

At present, a convicted drink driver gets 15 days in prison and a 3-6 month ban. The story appears to say that current laws will revoke the licence permanently if someone is caught twice in a year.

The proposed amendment would see first time offenders have their licences revoked, and they wouldn’t be able to apply for a new license for 5 years. The fine would be tripled from the present figure to about £190 (I guess there is a cost of living factor – a mechanic would only earn about £80 a month – so it is a massive fine when you think about it).

The life ban would come into play if a serious accident resulted.

Good on the Chinese. Both the UK and the USA could learn from this.

(Going back to the original story, the shock videos have become macabre entertainment for the West).

Hay Fever Sufferers Driving Blind

21/04/2011
DOAADI
ADI, General

This story in the Daily Mail says that millions are driving “almost blind” because of hay fever.

In a way, it’s yet another statement of the blindingly obvious – like saying that if people have a ruptured appendix or a broken leg then they are not going to be driving up to par. But they do have a point… of sorts.

I hate it when I sneeze in the car when I’m driving. I always have, because you can’t help close your eyes when the spasm occurs. When I’m on a lesson and it happens I say to the pupil “don’t do anything wrong for a minute. I’m going to sneeze”.

When they have a sneezing fit, I’ll usually take hold of the wheel just in case.

I can sneeze any time during the year – nothing to do with hay fever – but I do find that early in the spring the tree pollen makes it a little worse. I don’t get runny eyes or anything, and I use Pollenase occasionally, which does help.

Some people get it really bad, though, and it is really debilitating. I know one of my pupils tried Pollenase and reckoned it was a miracle cure for him.

But this story is just a publicity thing – this time by Halfords. You can have regular sneezing fits with certain types of cold (often in winter), or if someone is wearing a certain perfume. Sneezing has always been a potential problem, and I can remember at least one accident being reported as being due to someone doing it.