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Phrases (and Methods) an ADI Uses When Teaching

21/10/2022

This article was originally published in early 2012 and was based on an even earlier article in which I talked about the most common phrases I seem to use when I’m conducting lessons. That earlier article was somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but my stats tell me that – from time to time – buzzword bingo becomes an important topic for many ADIs out there. We seem to be in one such phase again at the moment.

One of the biggest problems faced by many instructors is their educational background – and getting confused with what is actually required to teach people to drive. I remember when I was doing my Part 3 training, with many lessons of a 2 to 1 nature, hearing ex-miners and labourers trying to talk like Prince Charles (now King Charles, of course) when they were delivering their briefings. They obviously didn’t understand what they were saying – they just thought it needed to sound ‘posh’. It would literally be a case of the blind leading the blind if they tried to teach real pupils.

In spite of all that, people with such backgrounds often become ADIs.

A driving instructor’s job is to teach people to drive to a standard which is good enough to get them through their driving test, and start them off on a lifelong learning curve as they start driving on their own, gaining experience along the way. Nowhere is it written that the training has to be delivered according to Debrett’s.

In a similar vein, if you listened to the Coaching and Lifestyle hawkers out there, you’d be forgiven for thinking that you can’t be an ADI unless you utilise homeopathy, aromatherapy, and psychotherapy in your lessons. It’s all a lot of bollocks, of course, and these people are just scammers after your money (or in some cases, idiots who actually believe the nonsense they peddle). She wasn’t around long, but there was an ADI advertising on the internet about seven years ago who genuinely provided aromatherapy as part of her pink-themed lessons!

Just Say What You Mean

The key to effective communication is to say what you mean and not to worry too much about how you say it. For example, don’t keep using the word “observations” if it is alien to you – and especially don’t use it if it is alien to your pupil. Just say “look all round”, or something that fits in with the local lingo (or a lingo the pupil understands). Use the occasional fancy word by all means, but make sure you define it first. A lot of pupils have a nasty habit of not telling you when they don’t understand something, and that means your message never gets across – even though you might plough ahead thinking it has.

Communication has to lead to understanding, and when it doesn’t the implications can be frightening. Take the Show Me/Tell Me question about testing your brakes. Just imagine what might happen if a pupil passes their test without understanding what ‘spongy or slack’ actually means (and many don’t). It’s far better that they use more familiar words like sloppy, soft, loose, floppy, and so on – the examiner isn’t going to mark them down for it.

Proper communication isn’t just about reading a lesson plan out loud using a flowery dialect you or your pupils are unfamiliar with. Your perceived eloquence has to be as well received as it is delivered.

And Understand What You Say

For God’s sake, don’t say something if you don’t understand it! Keep it simple enough for your pupil – and yourself.

Give Me An A

Some ADIs collect acronyms and sayings as if their lives depended on it. Periodically, one of the forums will light up after someone decides to harvest some new ones and asks for contributions. It’s usually a new ADI who does it, but it is clear that many people absolutely live for the damned things. Unfortunately, most haven’t stopped to consider the effect this has on their pupils. Many learners have enough trouble remembering to put the clutch down when they stop without having to decipher SCALP or whatever brilliant acronym their instructor has pulled from their tickler file for the occasion.

Rigid systems are not the best way to produce safe drivers – all they do is produce people who can follow a rigid pattern under set circumstances. However, if circumstances change they often have no Plan B, and that kind of of driver is probably the most dangerous type on our roads. Acronyms might allow someone to remember what something is – but they do absolutely nothing for understanding.

Personally, I explain MSM-PSL-LADA to my pupils at some point simply because it (the MSM part) is in the Highway Code several times. But not at the beginning of their lessons – only when they’re already doing it later on. The only other times any acronym or silly saying gets discussed is when one of them brings it up, having heard it from a previous instructor or one of their friends. My favourite is the tyres-and-tarmac (TAT) one – which invariably results in at least a 5m gap between us and the car in front (which is far too much), and which inevitably leads to one or two fewer vehicles getting through that annoyingly brisk set of lights during the evening rush hour!

If a Picture Paints a Thousand Words…

…then don’t assume people will want a song and dance, too! I am aware of at least one ADI who considers his singing ability – which isn’t shared by those who have heard it – is worthy of using on driving lessons.

I am an introvert, and if someone performs in front of me – and especially if they try to involve me, or if they are not as good as they think they are – then I usually want to curl up and die. I am intelligent enough to know that at least half of my pupils would be equally uncomfortable having this forced on them. Christ, many of them are uncomfortable even being asked a question! In other words, know how far you can go – don’t go as far as you can, because you (think you) can.

Take The Next Turn…

It’s easy to overlook the importance of clear and unambiguous directions to pupils during lessons (and on their tests). Not doing so is a mistake that all of us will have made at one time or another.

Years ago, not long after I qualified, I was doing a roundabouts session with a pupil. As we sat at traffic lights just before this one particular multi-lane roundabout I was emphasising that she should stay in lane and follow it around to the second exit. She queried it, and I naively said ‘just follow that car in front’. She did, and we negotiated the roundabout perfectly. Yes, I know what could have happened, because half a mile further on it did. She unexpectedly turned off into a side road. When I asked why she’d done it, she replied ‘you said to follow that car’. Rule #1: make sure you cancel an instruction when it is no longer valid – even if you think a later instruction has superseded it. And don’t ask them to follow other cars – they’ll do that often enough without any encouragement.

Much more recently, I had a pupil with an irritating habit of asking where we were going before we got anywhere near a junction. On this particular day I’d asked him to stop it because it was causing confusion. Anyway, we were driving back to his school and, as we got near it, we sailed past the normal turn-off (he’d been routinely driving this route unaided on lessons). I thought he may be taking an alternative route and didn’t say anything, but a little further on – when I realised how far out of our way we were heading – something dawned on me, and I asked: ‘did you deliberately go straight ahead back there because I told you not to keep trying to guess where we’re going?’ He replied: ‘yes’. I wasn’t pleased. Rule #2: pupils can be stupid and childish – don’t make it easier for them to do it.

Some learners are so highly strung that they’re like firecrackers next to an open fire. The slightest spark – even just saying something – can be enough to make them go off with a bang. A few years ago, I had a guy who had social and personal issues. On one lesson we were accelerating on a 40mph road, and I said calmly: ‘now put it into 3rd gear’. I’m not exaggerating, but his hand spread out like a trawling net, and he went first for the handbrake, then the radio, brushed the gear stick, and then attempted to pull something non-existent under the dashboard just to the left of the steering column. Rule #3: pupils can be very unpredictable – be ready for anything.

Allowing for these types of behaviour, the ADI has to be really careful not to make matters worse. Even the best pupils can begin to act on a direction before you’ve finished giving it. Therefore, directions such as ‘turn right at the end of the road’ could quite literally lead you up someone’s garden path (or into a canal). A much better structure is ‘at the end of the road, turn right’. That way, there’s nothing they can act on until you get it all out. For this reason, it makes sense to sit in on a few tests and listen to the way the examiner gives instructions. Also, look up the terminology in the examiners’ SOP (DT1).

Hear, Hear

Most pupils can hear their mobile phone in their handbag when it receives a text message over the sound of the engine, wind, rain, and a full-on rock concert. Indeed, most can hear it vibrate even when it’s switched to silent. But if you say something like: ‘at the roundabout, we’re going straight ahead 2nd exit. Follow the A52 markings towards Nottingham. Stay in the left-hand lane’, what they actually hear is more like: “blahblahblah blahblahblahblah blah blahblahblah blahblahblah blah LEFT blahblah blahblahblah”. Be prepared for the possibility of a James Bond style left turn on two wheels. This gets better over time for most of them, but it is a genuine issue that the ADI needs to be aware of.

On a related note, most pupils – especially the girls – can see a squirrel in a tree three quarters of a mile away and are more than happy to execute an emergency stop to avoid any possibility of harming it. They’re not quite as good when it comes to seeing pedestrians on a crossing just in front of them.

Cut To The Chase

To summarise, you don’t need a whole encyclopaedia of clever sayings and phrases. In all honesty, if that’s what you consider makes someone a good instructor then you’re not going to be around for very long. A good instructor cuts through the crap and gets his or her message across clearly and concisely, and in a way the particular pupil understands (so concentrate more on finding out what vocabulary they have) – and so gets on with the important business of teaching people to drive.

Covid Autumn Booster

17/10/2022

DOAADI

COVID-19

As I am carer to my two elderly parents, in the last month I have taken both for their Autumn booster jabs. My mum dealt with it as usual – the worst she’s ever had, aching the next day, and the next, and the next, and even now complaining she’s ‘got no energy’ since having it. She’s exactly the same with the flu jab, which will be coming any time soon.

Dad also dealt with it as usual. No alleged symptoms of any kind.

As their carer, it turned out that I was eligible for it, too. I had mine yesterday. And I have to admit I have typical jab symptoms today – achy back, headache, the usual stuff. I’m also quite tired. I need a good sleep.

I have my flu jab booked for later this week. I pay for mine – I’ve had flu once before and I don’t want it again.

Berlinki Hot Dog Sausages

15/10/2022

DOAADI

Food, General

This is an old article from 2010. It has seen a surge in popularity recently, so I updated it.

I was in Asda recently getting something for my dinner, and as I walked past the cooked meat cabinet, I noticed a new product line: Berlinki Classic Hot Dog Sausages.

I have a bit of a weak spot for cooked meats and continental sausages, so I bought a few packs.

Now, the product is vacuum packed just like you see in the picture. And just like other products of this nature usually are. So, when I got home, I opened a pack and took one out to try it. I bit into it and thought “these are a bit tough”.

After a few seconds of chewing something didn’t seem right. It wasn’t becoming more… chewed. So, I spit the mouthful out – it was still quite unchewed in comparison to the way these things usually are at this stage. I then realised that the bloody sausages are also individually wrapped – and I mean tightly – in a plastic skin! You need a pair of scissors to snip into it, then you can peel it off – it’s like a condom on the damned things!

I mean, why?

They are nice, though.

Note: I initially thought the plastic skin could be a manufacturing fault. I was watching a documentary on Discovery, and they were making hot dog sausages on there. The plastic skin has markings on it which are used for quality control purposes and are usually removed.

Edit: No, it isn’t a fault. They’re supposed to be like that and the pack as of 2022 states clearly that all plastic must be removed.

How do you cook Berlinki hot dog sausages?

Someone found the blog on that search term. Well, they’re already cooked and you only need to reheat them. The best way is to put them in a small amount of boiling water (salted if you prefer) – take that plastic off first – for a few minutes to let them heat through. This is the same for all the Frankfurter-type hot dog sausages you buy in jars or tins (in brine). In fact, for these use the brine they’re in, boil it, then put the sausages in it for a few minutes.

Why are they wrapped in plastic?

My guess is that the plastic is used as a “skin” while they are being manufactured, so they hold their shape as the meat mass is being extruded. They they’re cut to length and cooked/packed as they are. I don’t know for certain. However, see my edit comment above – they are supposed to be like that!

Forecourt Fuel Pumps Jumping By 1p

04/10/2022

DOAADI

ADI, Transport

This article was originally published in 2013, but it’s been popular recently, so I have updated it. I’ve also written a more detailed explanation about why fuel is priced in tenths of a penny, here.

I’ve noticed that sometimes – and I stress sometimes – the petrol pumps at my local garages jump by 1p after I’ve finished filling my car. I usually notice it if I’m trying to put a round number of pounds worth of fuel in – so if I’m aiming for £40.00, I’ll just hit it, and when I get inside the amount payable is £40.01. Looking on the web, other people have noticed it too, and they are putting it down to some sort of scam. But it isn’t.

There is a simple explanation – given here by Leicester County Council Trading Standards. They say:

Q. When I put the petrol nozzle back the meter clocked up one penny when I was not delivering any fuel, is there a fault on the pump?

A. Sometimes the price advances when you close the nozzle and return it to storage. This can be caused by the hose swelling slightly which allows a fractional amount of fuel to pass through the meter. Because of the high price in petrol only a very small amount of fuel is needed for the price display to change by 1 penny therefore this problem is much more prevalent now than it used to be. One penny’s worth of fuel only equates to a very small amount and is well within the permitted tolerances of -0.5% and +1%. However, if the price increases by more than 1 penny please let Consumer Direct know on 08454 04 05 06.

Those tolerances mean that for every 1,000mls (litre) of fuel you pump, you can legally get anywhere between 995mls and 1010mls. If fuel costs £1.20 per litre, that means you might get 0.6p less fuel than you paid for, or 1.2p more. On a full tank in a standard car, that works out at up to 24p less or 48p more fuel than you actually paid for, respectively. I stress again that this is perfectly legal and is due to the reliability and accuracy of the pumps. Coventry Trading Standards explains it this way. As Trading Standards say, it is well within all the legal tolerances.

A tick over of 1p is insignificant within this legally acceptable range.

Most of the time it is perfectly possible to put an exact value of fuel in and it doesn’t click over. In fact, it happened more back in 2013 – when the price of fuel was up around £1.40 a litre – than it does in 2017 (I haven’t noticed it recently). And yet people are still convinced that there’s a small bloke wearing a striped jersey and a mask sitting inside the pump doing it on purpose. It isn’t a scam, and it isn’t deliberate. It’s just a combination of maths and science.

If you’re worried about it, don’t put piddling amounts in your tank – fill the damned thing up once a week instead of putting a tenner in every other day. One penny on a tank full is a lot less significant than it is on each of four lots of £10.00. And it means you won’t keep snarling up the forecourts for the rest of us as you pay for it on one of your bloody Visa cards.

And one more thing – a tip, really. You often find that the nozzle has got well over 1p of fuel sitting in it when you lift it out of the holster – so turn it upside down to drain it into your tank before you pull the trigger. And do the same thing before you put it back. That should be enough to stop all the sleepless nights you’re having over those pesky 1p muggings you reckon you’re getting – you’ll be getting someone else’s fuel for nothing!

Why do pumps always jump by 1p?

They don’t. They just do sometimes, for the reasons I’ve explained above.

It never happens when I put in 20 or 30 litres of fuel, instead of £20 or £30

Actually, it can. But because of the 0.9p or 0.7p they tag on to fuel prices, aiming for a specific price instead of a quantity puts you close to the tick over point, whereas aiming for a round volume probably puts you somewhere halfway between two points. Pumping 20L at 119.9p per litre will give a nice round £23.98, whereas £20 works out at 16.6806L of fuel. That 0.6ml is going to get rounded up.

It’s definitely a scam

No, it isn’t. Do you really think they designed them with a line in the software that says:

if (ran == 0) then price = price + 0.01;

The 1p is just an occasional rounding up. It is not a scam.

Renewing Your ADI Badge – 2022

03/10/2022

DOAADI

ADI, DVSA

This is a complete rewrite of the original 2018 article. It applies to my own renewal process this year which – in the end – ran quite smoothly.

I received an email from DVSA at the start of April 2022 warning me that my Green Badge (my licence to teach) expired later in the year and would need to be renewed. It informed me that the first thing I needed to do was obtain an up-to-date Enhanced Criminal Record Disclosure. DVSA provided a link to the company which now handles this – First Advantage (FADV).

I immediately set about applying, only to find that FADV’s website was down. However, after some emails to DVSA and FADV, the latter kickstarted the process.

Step 1 is to complete the FADV online form. I made sure I used the date I passed my driving test (because of what happened last time) as the ‘valid from’ date, and that my bank statement was dated from at least yesterday (also because of what happened last time). My passport was my third document. Once I was happy with everything, I printed the form off.

Step 2 is to take the form, along with your documents, to a suitable Post Office to have it officially checked. Last time, the only office which did this check near me was the main Post Office in Nottingham city centre, which is an absolute pain to get to, and an even worse one to have to endure. Fortunately, it now seems that almost all small Post Offices (other than the really tiny ones in some village stores) can do this check, so I took mine to a local one I use regularly after checking (and was surprised to discover) that it provided the service. It’s called the Branch Verification Service, and you can find out which Post Offices near you provide it here.

Last time, they were intent on rejecting my application (the ‘valid from’ date on my driving licence being a major annoyance), and I had to make two visits – which I was not at all happy about. This time, they completed the check in less time than it takes to send a parcel.

I monitored the progress of my application, the trigger for which is when the Post Office approves your application. After about a week, I got an email from First Advantage informing me I had moved to ‘the next stage of processing’. The same day, I got an email from DVSA, advising me that my criminal record certificate had been accepted by the Registrar and I could remain on the Register until my current badge expired. It also clearly pointed out that I should apply for my new badge early in the month my existing one expires. I set an alarm in my online calendar for 1 October 2022.

A few days later, my own copy of the Disclosure arrived in the post. You need to make sure you don’t lose this, because you’ll need some details from it when you eventually apply to renew your badge.

All of this took under one month (and it would have been less if it hadn’t been for the usual issues getting a paper copy of my bank statement, which added over a week to the timeline).

Step 3 is the application for renewal of your badge. I began mine on 1 October 2022, and since that was a Saturday, nothing happened until 3 October, when it showed up as ‘pending renewal’. By 6 October, the expiry date on my licence shown by IRDT had changed from October 2022 to October 2026. My new badge arrived on 10 October 2022.

The renewal process uses the IRDT system, so make sure you are registered with it, and that you can log in, well before you need to do it for real. You will need the reference number and issue date from your Enhanced Disclosure in order to complete the application. Also don’t forget that there is a renewal fee of £300 (current for October 2022) to be paid upon application. There is also a GOV.UK link to renew your approved driving instructor (ADI) registration, which simply links to IRDT.

IMPORTANT: If anything goes wrong at any stage in all this, get it sorted quickly by phoning or emailing either FADV or DVSA. Do not let time run out. Make sure that each stage goes to completion and is not left hanging, because the next one won’t be triggered if the one before it has stalled.

I get quite a few queries asking what to do now when someone can’t log in somewhere, or has just left it far too late. One person a couple of years ago hadn’t even applied for their DBS at the start of the month their licence ran out!

Starting Lessons

01/10/2022

DOAADI

ADI, Driving Tests, DVSA

Just a word of advice to anyone who is starting driving lessons.

Right now, in Nottingham, if you wanted to book a practical driving test and there were any not yet taken, you would be looking at March 2023 for your test date. It’s six months – and when new dates are added each week, they disappear quickly.

You cannot book your practical test until you have passed your theory test. The waiting time for these is much shorter, and I am advising my new pupils to pass it as soon as possible so we can book a practical test and work towards it (six months is usually more than enough for most new learners). I point out that each week they delay booking their theory test just adds another week to whenever their practical test will be once we can get one booked.

Driving tests are government-issued events. They are not like candy you buy from the store.

If you want to book your theory test, use only this link.

If you want to book your practical test, use only this link.

If you want to check your practical test booking, use only this link.

And if you want to change your practical test booking, use only this link.

DO NOT search for how to do it on Google or any other search engine. If you are really so stubborn as to insist on doing so, go to GOV.UK – and nowhere else – and do it from there. Because if you DO go anywhere else, you will be scammed – at least out of some money, and quite possibly by not even getting a test. If you book through the government website, you get a test immediately (if any are available – if they’re not, you can’t book). If you are told they will ‘get back to you’ then you have been scammed, and it’s your own fault. Only GOV.UK can officially provide driving tests.

Yes, it is possible you might find a cancellation date sooner than six months hence. But this is in no way guaranteed – more people are looking for them than there are cancellations, so getting one is a matter of luck.

And yes, you can sign up to a cancellation checking service, but with these you have less control over the date and, in many cases, the venue. People who use them often get dates before they are truly ready to pass, often at as test centre they aren’t familiar with, so they fail, and then have to go through the whole process yet again, spending more money (and taking longer) than they might have done if they’d have just stuck with a normally booked driving test date at the test centre nearest to them.

It is also worth noting that DVSA is trying to block many of these services. After all, the dates available have to come from somewhere, and if the cancellation checker has them, you – and the tens of thousands of others learning to drive – don’t unless you pay the cancellation checker for them.

My only conditions concerning accepting cancellation bookings, however obtained, are:

it must be at Colwick, Chilwell, or Watnall – you can forget Derby and Loughborough
if it’s at Chilwell and you live in Hucknall, you’re not doing 1-hour lessons anymore
likewise, if it’s at Colwick and you live in Long Eaton, change it or find another instructor
if it overlaps with another test, I can’t do it
it must be when you are test ready – not before
if you’re crap with roundabouts right now, think twice about cancellations at Watnall
you are not just ‘going to have a go’ in my car
I don’t give a damn what your mum or dad has said

I am opposed to these services for the same reasons as DVSA. They are unfair on the majority, and they mess up learning schedules. I tolerate them – but not if the original test date of next year, which gave me time to teach someone to drive doing 1 hour a week, has been switched to three weeks away and they’re still beginners. And especially not if they then cancel their next two lessons (and yes, I blocked someone a few months ago for precisely that).

So, in summary. When you start your driving lessons (this is current for October 2022):

start revising for your theory test as soon as possible
book your theory test as soon as possible
do regular driving lessons
as soon as you have passed your theory, book your practical (assuming a 6-month wait)
do not book a cancellation date – you can try that later
accept that it takes time to learn, and six months is not that long once you live it

Russia Is A Complete Joke

30/09/2022

DOAADI

News, World

Russia is ruled by a brutal madman with a massive inferiority complex (because he IS inferior, but he won’t admit it), who is flanked by insane and inferior flunkies, such as Sergey Lavrov – who is quite prepared to claim black is white, and seriously believe it after he’s said it.

The recent ‘referendums’ that have been held in currently occupied areas of Ukraine, and the subsequent sham annexation of Ukrainian territory shows what a complete loser Putin is. Russia – at Putin’s command – has murdered vast swathes of the population and levelled entire cities. It has tortured civilians, and openly murdered them on the streets. In many areas, its cowardly and mentally deranged ‘army’ has stolen such items as iPads and computers (and even a central heating boiler), which have subsequently been traced back to Russia (along with other untraceable items that Russian soldiers would be pissing themselves over owning, because their own loser country cannot supply them with anything more than out of date rations).

In Ukraine, even in peacetime, the areas involved in these sham ‘referendums’ would not vote anywhere near 100% to become ‘Russian’, purely on statistical grounds. Because in a democracy, you have to put up with the fact that even something which is obviously wrong (Brexit in the UK, for one example, not to mention the Scottish Independence issue), close to half the population will believe the wrong part. In the case of Ukraine, after you’ve had your family murdered by incompetent, poorly disciplined, and mentally unhinged Russian soldiers, with their massive inferiority complexes, the chances of even 50:50 are pretty much out of the window.

Russian soldiers went door-to-door and threatening people if they didn’t vote. Right now, they’re going door-to-door threatening people who didn’t vote. These poor people have now got potentially a lifetime of absolutely abysmal treatment by these animals from Russia.

The ‘result’ that 98.23% of the population ‘wants to join Russia’ is like claiming you just saw Jesus buying a Big Mac. Yes, you said it – but absolutely no one of sound mind believes you, and even those who do are obviously wrong. Russia simply lies at every opportunity. It always has, and always will as long as scum like Putin exist. I mean, George Orwell was pretty much writing Putin’s script when he wrote ‘1984’.

There are a lot of decent Russian people. But none of them are in the Russian government. It’s hard to know how many good ones there are, thanks to Russian State propaganda and its willingness to murder or imprison its own people to further State lies if any become too vocal. But they do exist, and the protests Russia is seeing right now show that clearly.

Putin is an absolute twat, and nothing – absolutely nothing – can ever change that.

If the insane and impotent fool resorts to nuclear weapons, it will be the end of him anyway. He cannot possibly win.

NASA’s DART Mission

27/09/2022

DOAADI

Astronomy, Computers & Tech

NASA has just deliberately crashed a spacecraft into an asteroid to see if it can alter its orbit.

The asteroid is called Dimorphos, and it orbits another asteroid called Didymos.

It was fascinating to watch. NASA’s live feed began at about 10.15 BST, at which point the Didymos/Dimorphos pair was visible as just a small dot a few pixels wide from the onboard camera. At that stage, impact was about an hour and half away. It was basically a live video with a frame rate of a few seconds, and at the start nothing much was happening.

As time ticked by, the dot became larger, and then it became possible so discern Dimorphos to the upper right of the frame (top image).

Closer – Dimporphos heading past Didymos

As impact time approached, things changed rather more quickly. Detail on Didymos became visible, and Dimorphos came clearly into view. Then, Didymos passed out of frame as the spacecraft autonomously targeted Dimorphos.

Impact then occurred with a final view of the surface of Dimorphos.

It was great watching it (you can see the recording on YouTube). It now remains to find out if the orbit has been altered in any way.

DART was accompanied by LiciaCube, which monitored the collision from about 50km away, and pictures from that should appear shortly (over the next few days) – which will also be interesting. However, it will be a while before they know if the orbital period has changed, indicating a successful outcome of the overall experiment.

But whatever. It is success enough to have targeted something about 160m wide and nearly 7 million miles away so accurately using autonomous control within the probe like this. Another NASA success, no matter how you look at it.

Dilbert… Cancelled by Woke

23/09/2022

DOAADI

Funny, News

Please note that I wrote this in September, 2022. Readers finding this post will no doubt be aware of Scott Adams’ more recent (February, 2023) comments. This article has nothing to do with those comments, as it predates them. However, Adams has effectively destroyed his career now, whatever point he was making – which, incidentally, is not the one the media is putting forward.

Anyone who has read the blog for any period of time may well be aware of the reverence in which I hold Dilbert.

Dilbert is a comic strip by Scott Adams. It deals with office life, and it was a virtual transcript of the situations and people I had to deal with when I was in the rat race myself.

Dilbert was first published in 1989, and since then it has been syndicated across 2,000 newspapers in 65 countries and 25 languages. In other words, it has been mega-successful, largely because nearly everyone who reads it can identify with it.

Dilbert moved with the times. In the late 80s it was just office life, but then it introduced the internet, followed by every other relevant development since then. It went to town on Teamworking, off-site development courses, and meetings. However, it has recently taken to lampooning ‘wokeness’.

And that appears to have now got it blocked by numerous American newspapers.

In recent strips, a character who is black (but who identifies as ‘white’ just to wind up management) has been introduced. And this trend seems to have worried some newspapers.

Ironically, ‘Dave’ – the black character – has only appeared in a handful of the daily strips since as far ago as July, but he has drawn complaints. And we all know that even one complaint on this topic is worth several thousand complaints about literally anything else in the known universe.

I said above that nearly everyone can identify with Dilbert. However, we are now in worryingly different times, and Dilbert is touching on issues about which it is close to being illegal to do anything with other than wholeheartedly embrace them and broadcast them from every rooftop and soapbox.

Scott Adams is worth about $50 million thanks to Dilbert, so I’m sure he will be deservedly secure as a result of his worthy contribution to society these last 30-odd years.

It’s the rest of us who need to be worried.

Queen’s Funeral and Driving Tests

13/09/2022

DOAADI

ADI, DVSA, News

I had a test booked for next Monday, and when I found out that The Queen’s funeral was that day I wondered what would be happening – particularly as momentum has been building with planned closures by other businesses.

I just received this email:

DVSA services suspended on 19 September 2022 following sad death of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
Our thoughts are with His Majesty King Charles III and the Royal Family at this sad time.
In line with National Mourning guidance our services will continue during the mourning period.
We are suspending all but our most essential services on 19 September due to the Bank Holiday and State Funeral, allowing individuals, businesses and other organisations to pay their respects to Her Majesty.
We appreciate your patience and understanding during this period of national mourning.
Practical tests
We will contact your pupils with a test booked on 19 September 2022 to let them know their test has been suspended. Tests will be automatically re-booked for the first available date. If you booked a test for your pupil on 19 September you need to let them know that their test will not go ahead.
Theory tests
All theory tests have been suspended on 19 September 2022. We will be contacting all of your pupils who are affected to let them know how to choose a new date for their theory test.
ADI part 2 and 3 tests and standards checks
All ADI part 2, 3 tests and standards checks have been suspended on 19 September. We will contact all affected ADIs and PDIs with the earliest possible new test date.
You can move your rescheduled test on GOV.UK for ADI part 2 and 3 tests or by emailing standardschecks@dvsa.gov.uk for standards checks.
Driving lessons
There is no obligation on you to suspend your business during the National Mourning period. However you may wish to consider closing, especially on the day of the State Funeral, however this is your choice.
Online services
Our online services will be available as usual on Monday 19 September.
(DVSA)