My intense dislike of Audi drivers cannot have gone unnoticed. The one I encountered today in a white A4 estate – reg. no. FD11 UJF – was absolutely typical of the kind of imbeciles who drive these things and yet never seem to get caught by the police.
I was on my way to a lesson in Beeston and had just gone through the traffic lights at the junction of Queens Road West and Station Road. This tosser in the Audi forced his way into no gap whatsoever, at speed, after the merge area, forcing me to swerve to avoid him. A pupil would have had a real problem.
I don’t know if he can lip read because – like most of his kind – he wouldn’t look in the mirror as I pointed to my head and described him in words which rhyme with “clucking bat”.
Still, I get my satisfaction from sticking their details on here, along with the back up of having my in-car camera running should one of the primates involved ever complain.
In case the police DO look by, remember: white Audi A4, reg. no. FD11 UJF . Driven by a prat who shouldn’t be allowed out unsupervised..
I mentioned the 2011 Darwin Awards earlier this year. But we have a new contender in the form of Robert Mark Owens , a surprisingly 48-year old motorcyclist.
He filmed himself driving at up to 150mph on his Kawasaki 600cc bike. He was also filmed doing wheelies, riding on footpaths, and weaving through traffic – presumably at speed.
Owens’ place in the Darwin Awards 2011 nominations list was secured when he then uploaded the footage to YouTube.
Someone saw it and reported him anonymously to the police. The story doesn’t say precisely how they identified him, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he put his stupid face on the video in his quest for glory.
Owens was given 10 points, disqualified for 5 years, ordered to take an extended test, do 150 hours of unpaid work, had his bike (£3,000) and camera (£150) confiscated, and given a 51-week prison sentence (suspended for two years). In other words, he had the book thrown at him. So when I called him a “motorcyclist” earlier, I should perhaps have said “ex-motorcyclist”.
Serves the idiot right, anyway. The courts should be this harsh on anyone who breaks the law anything like this – and someone stupid enough to broadcast their stupidity shouldn’t be allowed to drive again. Ever.
The trouble is, the courts aren’t this harsh most of the time.
A reader sent me this link to a story which beggars belief. I suppose the fact that it’s a lovey-dovey, brains-turned-to-mush mummies website has a lot to do with it.
Emma French, 20, from Bathgate in Scotland, had her driving test booked. She’s been waiting for it “since August”. The article spouts:
…[she] had four contractions whilst taking her test…
She kept mum about her contractions to both the examiner and her instructor as she got behind the wheel – despite her partner… brother… mum… all urging her to cancel and go to hospital.
After she passed, the first thing she did was was drive to her grandparents to tell them, and only then went to hospital. She thinks it will be a great story to tell her child when she’s older.
The article concludes:
Brave lady!
I can only assume that that’s some sort of dialect for “stupid cow” or “unfit mother”, because absolutely the last thing she is is brave.
She endangered the life of her unborn child. She endangered her own life. And she endangered the life of her driving examiner. It’s quite likely she also endangered the life of her instructor if labour started during her pre-test lesson, and you can only guess at what a danger she would have been to everyone else on the road had she lost control!
And it would have taken legions of feminists and other politically-correct idiots to persuade the insurance company that her insurance was valid in the event of any accident, because getting behind the wheel in that state is sheer stupidity.
You often see these PC clowns arguing that pregnancy is “not an illness”. Let me just clarify a few things:
in the later stages of pregnancy some women’s brains turn to mush and they simply cannot drive safely
sometimes they physically cannot get behind the wheel in such a way as to be able to control the car
some of them refuse to do the emergency stop on lessons
Those are absolute facts. I’ve taught such people (and those first two are THEIR words, not mine). When it gets like that, pregnancy is much worse than an illness, and it needs all the legal muscle of the equal rights activists to prevent common sense having any say in the matter.
I wonder if this “heroic woman” would do it again when she has her inevitable 2nd and 3rd children? I wonder if she’d do it with her other kids in the car then the time comes? We’ve already established that she probably would, since she has an arrogant (or is it just a clueless?) disregard for anyone else. Another version of the story makes it absolutely clear that she was in labour even before she met her instructor that morning, and that the baby was a month early. Absolutely selfish.
North America has not previously been known for its roundabouts (used as road junctions). As recently as 2006, it was clear that there weren’t many (if any, prior to the story) in the USA – but that they were being introduced and tried out.
The Americans appear to be taking them very seriously, because you certainly don’t get sites like this about UK roundabouts (dead link removed).
Even just under a year ago, there were reports that roundabouts were proliferating and drivers were “confused” – though I sense a certain amount of patronising going on there, as Autoblog appears to have chosen to ignore the fact that anyone will be confused by anything new (drivers in the UK can take more than 15 years to stop treating a road the way it USED to be laid out after it changes). However, in Maryland alone there were nearly 200 roundabouts according to that report, which is probably more than there were in the entire US only 10 years earlier.
In July this year, the BBC did a story about the “British roundabout conquering the US“. I’m not sure you could call them “British” roundabouts – at the very least, you go round the American ones the other way, so it would be better to call them after another country that uses them AND drives on the right-hand side of the road (but that’s not paternal enough for the Beeb). The story says that around 3,000 have been built in the last 20 years – and it also points out that some states consider them to be “undesirable European imports”, likely to put up taxes and increase accidents. Ironically for those states, the BBC story refers specifically to the Californian town of Carmel, where their purpose has been to remove traffic lights and their associated running costs, and to cut pollution.
I like the quote from a correspondent in the Wall Street Journal:
This is a culture predicated on freedom and individualism, where spontaneous co-operation is difficult and regimentation is resisted.
You see it in the way Americans get in line, or as the Brits say, queue. We don’t do that very well.
Behind the wheel, we’re less likely to abide by an orderly pattern of merging that, though faster for the group, may require an individual to slow down or, God forbid, yield.
[Americans tend to be orthogonal in their thinking and behaviour.]
We like right angles, yes and no answers, Manichean explanations. Roundabouts require more subtlety than we’re used to.
My answer would be that assuming there’s nothing wrong with you at a genetic level, live with it. It’ll do you good.
But the main reason I wrote this was that a news item just came through about local driving schools in Ontario, Canada having just started to include them on their lessons now that more are appearing over there (dead link removed).
Police and planners say that they are proven to reduce accidents and cut pollution (the American states touting that nonsense I mentioned above should take note). But there are still problems:
…but North Americans are still trying to understand them. So the Windsor Police held an information session Monday at the new Erie and Parent roundabout to teach drivers the proper way of entering and exiting.
I didn’t realise that Canada didn’t use them or have many until I saw this. They’re now covered in the Canadian equivalent of our Highway Code (dead link removed).
An email alert from the DSA states that a new framework setting out the key competencies expected of driver and rider trainers (instructors) has been published. Translated into English, that means someone has written down what is expected of driving and riding instructors.
The document covers pre- and post-test training.
Although I’m sure it will get the fishwives going, the document merely states the obvious and any ADI who is doing their job properly WILL already comply with virtually everything in it.
The big question though, is: how will the DSA know that you comply with it? And will they agree that you do?
I have only one issue with it. When I’m reading it I keep getting flashbacks to my time in the Rat Race, working for a company whose primary output was this sort of stuff, and which didn’t give a damn about the actual customer in spite of all the rhetoric. Examples?
…use ‘client-centred’ techniques to ensure the learner is better equipped to deal with such hazards in the future…
The Health and Safety Executive notes that:
“People who deal directly with the public may face aggressive or violent behaviour. They may be sworn at, threatened or even attacked.”
This unit is about taking steps to protect yourself, and learners, from aggressive or violent behaviour, whether from other learners or third parties…
…implement and comply with general health and safety procedures and requirements relating to the delivery of services to the public…
…report details of any situation in which an actual or potential health and safety risk arises, in line with your organisation’s policy and procedures…
It’s full of this stuff, and words like “evaluate”, “compliance”, and so on.
To be honest, it is probably going to end up being just a waste of time and effort, because there’s no way I can see that they can check all this – other than on a check test – without spending a shed load more money. More importantly, though, it will not trap people who are giving dangerous instruction.
I heard on the news this morning that Rush’s eagerly awaited new album, Clockwork Angels, is set for release next spring.
In an interview with Rolling Stone, Geddy said that if all goes to plan then that is when it is likely – though they’re still writing and recording it at the moment. That’s expected to be done by Christmas.
Here’s the best part: the band will be touring once the album is released!
That means I’ve got to start saving again! My guess is late 2012 or early 2013 for them to come to Europe (assuming that they do, of course). Rush hasn’t always covered Europe when it has supported an album release with a tour, and they were only here 5 months ago.
There’s a “new” Rush CD available: RUSH – ABC 1974. Mine came this week.
It was recorded at the Agora Ballroom, Cleveland, Ohio in 1974 just a few weeks after Neil Peart joined them. It marks the point where WMMS FM broadcast the whole show, and the rest – as they say – is history.
There are two previously unreleased Rush tracks – Fancy Dancer and Garden Road – tracks from their first album and the then-unreleased Fly By Night, and a cover of Bad Boy (by Larry Williams).
There are also three bonus Fly By Night tracks from a 1975 set, also broadcast by WMMS.
The CD comes in a traditional plastic jewel case with a cardboard sleeve, and includes a foldout CD insert with a few details about the gig.
The full track list is as follows:
Finding My Way
The Best I Can
Need Some Love
In The End
Fancy Dancer
In The Mood
Bad Boy
Here Again
Working Man
Drum Solo
What Youre Doing
Garden Road
Anthem (from the 2nd broadcast)
Beneath, Between & Behind (from the 2nd broadcast)
Fly By Night (from the 2nd broadcast)
Most Rush fans will have heard the stuff before, but this is a collectors’ item which marks the first legal/official release of the material.
Don’t forget to put your clocks back by one hour at 2am tomorrow morning.
Most devices do it automatically these days, but the more you rely on them to do so, the greater the chance that they won’t!
Also, watch out for poor driving as it starts to get dark earlier for the first week or two. Every year, a lot of people seem to have to re-learn how to drive in the dark. Be prepared for worse traffic queues during evening rush hour – a usual outcome of this poor driving.
Be aware of the extra glare from other cars’ headlights (especially in the rain), and allow for the huge number of cars out there which have got at least one headlight not working and which could be mistaken for a motorcyclist further over the road.
At least we aren’t under a glacier just yet – so those forecasts of snow in October were wrong (even the ones which said there might be some over the mountains).
Well, although the programme is definitely entertaining, you’ve got to come to the conclusion that it is totally unrealistic and highly staged. Two shows in and a pattern is developing in Channel 5’s Dangerous Drivers’ School.
First of all, you have “Steph”. Her father is a driving instructor (yes, you read that right – and she’s appearing on TV being “trained” by AA instructors). If he can’t fix her serious attitude problem, what chance does a third party have in a single session? And it comes as no surprise to see that she fancies herself like all get out, and her dream car is an Audi that can do 0-60mph in just over 4 seconds. She’s typical Audi material, and chav through and through. Big surprise that the single session “fixed” her.
Like Lewis last week, Harry is a complete tosser. He is filmed driving at speed for long distances eating McDonalds without his hands on the steering wheel, and using the phone (at the same time as all that). Even on his first session with the instructor, he is eating crisps and taking his hands off the wheel (just for the record, I would have stopped that before it happened – no one is getting food grease on MY steering wheel!).
Pat is the regulation realistic (almost) one – though someone who can’t drive properly and wants to appear on TV about it is obviously going to be carrying just that little bit of extra baggage.
With the way Harry the Prat was driving (and “Steph”, come to that), Channel 5 should have informed the police instead of trying to cash in on something that puts the lives of others at such great risk. It’s an absolute joke that Channel 5 should aid and abet such criminal behaviour – and since they can’t be, then the whole thing has just got to be a put on show.
Increasingly, the programme is looking like a stage for people who didn’t get on Big Brother. If anyone does drive like that in real life they deserve to have their licences revoked because of past behaviour.
If anyone is genuinely like Pat, all they have to do is call an instructor and get some refresher lessons. No need to join Equity to do it.
Don’t forget to put your clocks back by one hour at 2am tomorrow morning.