Diary Of An ADI - A Driving Instructor's Blog

The Darkness @ Rock City

23/11/2011

When The Darkness last toured – before they split up – I wanted to see them when they came to Rock City, in Nottingham. That must have been in 2004. Unfortunately, The Sun newspaper did an article on them and mentioned they were on in Nottingham, at which point the tickets sold out instantly.

This time round, and several years down the line, I get email alerts for all the bands I’m interested in before tickets go on sale, and The Darkness were one of them. This gig was still a sell out, but I’d got tickets the moment they went on sale – and I was really looking forward to it!

There were two support acts. The first was a Californian band called Crown Jewel Defense (or CJD). Their mySpace page describes them as “Powerpop/Arena Metal”, but I’d put them in a number of other categories, including heavy rock and even glam (but not “pop”). They were extremely loud, but the music was excellent – you can hear some of it on their mySpace page. They are absolutely a band to watch out for, and one I’d happily go and see again.

The second support act was a six-piece band called Foxy Shazam, from Ohio. From the moment they came on stage, you knew they were different. The lead singer, Eric Nally, is the spitting image of Freddie Mercury, but that’s where any similarity ends. As Eric says on their website, their music doesn’t fit into any genre, but last night it was powerful rock and showmanship.

Nally rolls around the stage (literally), climbs on the drums, races around, and does juggling acts with the microphone and stand that Roger Daltrey could only dream of. He has a powerful voice and a great personality.

The keyboard player is a strange character right from the off. He’s bald, but has a huge and very long beard.

He’s from the school of musicianship that treats the keyboards as a piece of gym equipment – he uses his feet, elbows, everything to play them. He stands on them, and at one point he even brought them out into the crowd where he and his keyboard were supported by the audience as he played away.

Of course, something you have to put up with when you go to these shows is the Resident Prick – he might be the one who throws things on stage, or who leaps around oblivious to everyone else. Or - as in this case – he might be a heckler.

This one just kept shouting out “The Darkness” right in the middle of Foxy Shazam’s set, and Nally understandably got pissed off with it. He got the idiot up on stage, and you could see the light dawn in his piggy little eyes when he realised that he wasn’t the Superhero he’d imagined himself to be, and had attracted the universal derision of the audience.

If anyone knows this dickhead’s name, please let me know and I’ll put it alongside his photo.

Anyway, knowing the sort of performance The Darkness puts on, you could easily see why these two bands were supporting them. They were lively and immensely entertaining.

Now it was time for The Darkness’ performance. By now, Rock City was packed to the rafters – I can never understand why people leave it until the last minute to come in and don’t watch the support, but they do. And then they piss me off by trying to get right to the front, after I’d staked my claim for floor space two hours earlier!

As best as I could tell (and with a bit of Googling), The Darkness’ set list was as follows:

Black Shuck
Growing On Me
Best Of Me
One Way Ticket
Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us
Get Your Hands Off My Woman
Out Of This World
Holding My Own
Love Is Only A Feeling
Concrete
Friday Night
Cannonball
Is It Just Me?
Street Spirit (Fade Out) – Radiohead?
Givin’ Up
Stuck in a Rut
Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End)

Then for the encore they did:

Bareback
Tie Your Mother Down – Queen
I Believe In A Thing Called Love
Love On The Rocks With No Ice

The crowd were leaping all over the place, and ordinarily I’d have been furious at the crushing and jostling (used as an attempt to move forward by some of the late arrivals), but the support bands had put me in a good mood, and I was transported back to a time when I used to act like a prat without any encouragement whatsoever, so I joined in. It was great fun, and the music was superb.

The light show was good for a venue this size, and from what Justin said, they will have a new album out next year, and they’ll be touring to support it – with Nottingham likely to be on the schedule again. I’ll be there.

The night was rounded off with a good curry in the Mogal-E-Azam.

Test Pass: 14/11/2011

16/11/2011

DOAADI

Driving Tests

Well done to Nerea, who passed first time with no driver faults at all!

I had my first ever one of these about a year ago – they are rare, rarer even than an intelligent Chelsea supporter – but Nerea’s clean sheet gives me special satisfaction.

Apart from it being her first attempt, I also taught her from scratch, so although all the hard work was hers, from my own perspective I feel particularly satisfied with the outcome.

She’s a great driver, and she’s been a model pupil – no cancellations whatsoever, always on time, and she made good use of a month’s worth of insurance so she could practice roundabouts in the family car with her grandad. I know she wants to get extra training – particularly on the motorways to start with. She’ll have no trouble whatsoever handling those.

Theory Test App for Android

15/11/2011

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ADI, Computers & Tech, Training

I found this on the Android Market today – it’s a theory test app from the AA.

The free version lets you try out 70 of the question bank questions, but the full version has all of them. The full version only costs £1.99, and it has a nice, clean design and interface.

I assume that it will auto-update when the questions change, since the spiel says it is good for tests after 2008 (which implies it is the current question bank, which will be valid until the end of the year).

From January 2012, the questions will no longer be exactly those on the actual test – this app is at pains to point out that those it contains ARE the same as on the theory test proper.

I’m going to start mentioning it to my pupils. I can’t see anyone having a problem spending £1.99 on practising for their theory test – though I’m sure some will resent even that, and will still try the free route whenever they can.

I also can’t wait to see what the ADI glitterati have to say about it when they find out. The screenshot above is NOT the full display – it scrolls down – but I bet some prat will try and argue that it is a steep hill DOWNWARDS (it is), and the AA is wrong.

This is just one of several similar apps you can get for practising the theory test questions – you choose whatever suits you.

Wrong Way Idiot Receives Ban

14/11/2011

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ADI, Bad Drivers, News

I wrote in March about an idiot driver who came up an exit slip road the wrong way and caused a serious incident on the A90 near Aberdeen, Scotland.

Shazida Begum, who was 20 at the time, has been banned for 2 years and fined £700 for causing the accident. She escaped unharmed, but one of the lorry drivers had to spend the night in hospital. She was found guilty of dangerous driving and has been ordered to resit her driving test. There is a bit more detail in this report, too.

Reading the article, you can only wonder at the part where it says:

Witnesses at the scene found Begum crouched on the passenger seat of her damaged car talking on her mobile phone, the court heard.

I wonder why? The other puzzling thing is why on earth she isn’t required to sit an extended test. She obviously can’t drive properly, and her own defence lawyer said:

It was very poor driving that falls far below the expected standard.

The understatement of the year. And it’s also worth remembering that if anyone had been killed, she could have been looking at a 14 year jail term. It was only by luck that no one was.

Evanescence + The Pretty Reckless @ Leeds O2 Academy

13/11/2011

DOAADI

Music

I mentioned in August that I’d been waiting for The Pretty Reckless to tour, and when I got an email alert and went to book the tickets, I discovered that they were supporting Evanescence ! Well, last night I travelled up to Leeds for the gig.

One minor gripe was that I was expecting a 2nd support band from Texas called Fair to Midland – described variously as rock, progressive, metal, alternative, and so on. As it turned out, the 2nd support was a band called Me . They weren’t bad, but… well, you know. I don’t know what happened – Fair to Midland is still listed as the support on the European leg – but it was not the band I was expecting!

The Pretty Reckless were good. There was a sell-out crowd anyway, and it was unusual to see 90% of the crowd in place for the support band(s) ahead of the main act – though this could have been partly due to the O2’s silly policy of making sure Wednesday and Saturday gigs finish by 9.30pm (yes, you read that right) because it is “club night”.

Anyway, they kicked off with Since You’re Gone, and played a total of 10 songs – including a very good cover of The White Stripes’ Seven Nation Army. Make Me Wanna Die – the song that first made me take notice of them – came in near the end.

The Leeds O2 Academy is not a large venue, and the stage set up appeared to be that all Evanescence’s gear was set up, The Pretty Reckless’ stuff was in front of all that, and the first support was in front of – and to the side – of that! Technical glitches seemed to be the order of the day, though I must admit that the overall sound wasn’t bad for the support acts. Lighting though was quite basic, and it wasn’t easy to get good pictures of The Pretty Reckless, except for Taylor Momsen, who is obviously the focal point anyway.

Most of the crowd were there to see Evanescence. It was a young crowd – gauged partly by the fact that they were all trying to take their own pictures on their iPhones to show at school on Monday or to post on Facebook, and partly by the number of them who had forced their way to the middle front stage, and then kept going in and out all night.

The lighting for Evanescence’s set was much better, and much more elaborate than you’d expect for a place the size of the O2 Academy.

They kicked off with What You Want, followed by Going Under. Bring Me To Life made its appearance as the last song of the main set. The encore closed with My Immortal.

There’s no doubting Amy Lee’s musical abilities, and she has a very powerful voice – although the way she uses it in Evanescence is something of an acquired taste (but it does grow on you – hell, I like Rush, and unusual chord structures are their trademark). But if I thought it was hard to get a decent snap of The Pretty Reckless, getting one of Amy Lee was a hundred times more difficult – she must burn off in excess of 5,000 kcal every show with the amount of moving around she does. Trying to get a blur-free picture (or even keep her in frame) was a challenge and a half.

Just to mention that the O2 Academy still has a floor that you can lose your shoes on if you stand still too long (all those alcopops from “club night” no doubt). To their credit, they do seem to have addressed the problem of people smoking in there as though it were still legal.

A very enjoyable night, rounded off with a reasonable curry somewhere in Leeds – and since I was driving, including two pints of mango lassi instead of beer.

Anoraks Call for 80mph Trial

09/11/2011

DOAADI

ADI, Bad Drivers, News

Note: This is an old article.

This came through on the newsfeeds – it seems that the ~~driving equivalent of the Neighbourhood Watch~~ (link no longer live) is trying to persuade the government to trial an 80mph limit on “a managed and controlled motorway”.

I wonder if these fossils have actually considered the implications of this trial if it were to go ahead? Like, for example, what if people were killed as a result of it? I mean, that would be a hell of a price to pay to find out, wouldn’t it?

And what if, on this “managed and controlled” trial, there were no accidents? What the hell would that prove?

The people who are members of the group in question are often those who have the least regard for statistics or factual information, preferring their own beliefs and interpretations above those of “non-experts” who aren’t from their ranks. To that end, they are incapable of understanding the simple fact that increasing the upper limit to the range of speeds people will do on a road decreases the time they will have to think about how to deal with adverse situations that arise in front of them. There is no way, using any of the known laws of science, that that will make the roads safer.

If you hadn’t already realised, I don’t have a lot of time for “advanced” motoring groups, and this idiotic proposal isn’t likely to alter that situation. They are mostly bunches of nobodies who have acquired celebrity just through their very existence, and the choice of a corporate name which implies greatness. The “advanced” nature of their membership comes primarily from their members’ ages – and the implied “experience” that brings with it. All they appear to do is try and rub the noses of non-members in the dirt.

Having said that, at least RoSPA has always been opposed to increasing the speed limit on motorways for the reasons I gave above. They also have a concern that more serious accidents will result.

Quite rightly, other groups are criticising the anoraks for bringing this up now – so soon after the M5 disaster.

Mind you, people are going to great lengths to suggest that the M5 disaster wasn’t caused by speed. I’d just point out one thing: if everyone had been driving at 30-50mph, we wouldn’t be using the word “disaster” right now. That’s those laws of science, again.

Test Pass: 8/11/2011

09/11/2011

DOAADI

Driving Tests

Well done to Anthony, who passed with 7 driver faults.

Anthony is probably the nicest guy I have ever taught, and even the examiner commented on that as an aside to me. He’s also a very good driver who deserves to be out there in a car, and not hanging around in the rain for a University Hopper bus, or having his bike stolen from outside his residential rooms.

Anyway, good luck with your exams and studies, and I hope you get that VW Polo you’ve been hoping for. This time next month, you’ll be adjusting the heater like a pro!

Dual Controls and He-Man Freebie

07/11/2011

DOAADI

ADI, News, Training

I saw this in ADI News this month. Someone has reviewed a “free booklet” which is being given away by He-Man, titled: ~~The Use and Abuse of Dual Controls~~. It’s written by some guy called Professor Peter Russell.

Although the ADI News review doesn’t say, the booklet can be downloaded from He-Man’s website using the link above. He-Man, of course, is a major supplier of dual controls for instructor cars. The reviewer cleverly takes issue with some of the author’s very specific claims and statements about dual controls, whilst trying to remain objective. Reading between the lines, it is clear he doesn’t agree.

My first impression was that the author is one of those people who, like Idi Amin in the 1970s, lives for titles and certificates. Amin gave himself the title “His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular” (he wasn’t VC, DSO, or MC). The author in this case lists “Master of Arts in Advanced Driver Education (1997); Doctor of Professional Studies in CPD in Education (2001); Fellow of the Institute of Master Tutors of Driving (1969-2011); Chief Examiner AEB /AQA Diploma in Driver Education (1983-2011); Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Educational Assessors (2003-2011); Tutor of NHS Counselling, Coaching and Mentoring Degree Courses (2002-11); Member of the Parliamentary Advisory Council for Transport Safety (1980-2011)”. It appears that he WAS teaching in the 70s, so read into that what you will.

It’s worth pointing out that some people have A levels and degrees in “Critical Thinking”, “David Beckham Studies”, “General Studies”, “Celebrity Journalism”, “Drama Combined with Waste Management”, “International Football Business Management”, and so on. A lecturer in these subjects could easily become a “professor”.

I think you can see my point, here. So, anyway…

Much of the booklet is just information and statistics. But there are some outrageous statements in there. To start with:

…each case where the examiner takes action is a terrible indictment of the skills (or otherwise) of a relatively few ADIs.

Remember that, then. If you ever get an ETA for one of your pupils, it is a “terrible indictment” on your skills (or lack, thereof) as an ADI. He even reckons that the test SHOULD be abandoned at that point (so a walkback). This is an idiotic blanket statement, and is plain nonsense except in a small number of cases.

Apparently:

Any instructor may occasionally bring a pupil on test who suffers from nerves to such an extent they cannot cope. This may happen say once or twice a year…

That girl I once taught who took five tests before coming to me, and four with me before passing, and whom we had to stop for on test day for her to be physically sick, must be another “terrible indictment” on my skills as an instructor. The real facts are that about 80-90% of pupils are absolutely shitting themselves when they take their tests, and quite how this manifests itself out there with the examiner on the day is not going to be decided by some old geezer with an ego problem.

But this part is just utter nonsense:

First of all there is an absolute need to establish two basic teaching principles:

Dual controls are not an aid to teaching; they are a safeguard, only for use when learning needs are overcome by safety considerations

Instructors who make excessive use of dual controls, are obviously not suited to the job

That first one is just complete crap. If wearing full clown make-up and big clown shoes worked as a tool for teaching people, some fossil saying you should only wear a suit and tie would not alter that fact. Exactly the same is true here.

It is an absolute and definite fact that, if using the dual controls for teaching and demonstration purposes can be beneficial, then they should be used as necessary. The author of the booklet is totally wrong to state otherwise, and is expressing an opinion only.

The second point is, again, a poorly worded and badly expressed blanket statement. If an ADI is forever using the duals to prevent imaginary problems, then I agree that overuse in that case would be a problem – though I would stop short of such idiotic statements about his or her suitability for the job without knowing a lot more personal details.

It is clear that the author has some sort of historical love affair with BSM. Apparently it was THEY who had this nonsense in their training manual in 1980. So what the author is neglecting to mention and explain (or doesn’t understand) is that all we have is BSM’s bespoke internal training manual – not a Universal Law – that dates from more than 30 years ago! You can guess where he started out, can’t you?

As an aside, he bemoans the “sale” of BSM to the AA for a nominal “£1”. So, something else he doesn’t understand, either – the fact that that “nominal” sum effectively purchased a huge number of debts and liabilities.

You can make your own mind up about the rest of it. Some of it might actually turn out to be useful for some people, seeing that it is basically a “how to be an ADI” manual from someone with very old-fashioned (30-year+) views, and who apparently hates the profession as it stands today – but some of the crass opinions expressed as fact in it make it completely unreliable as a reference manual of any sort.

Still Think 80mph is a Good Idea?

07/11/2011

DOAADI

ADI, Bad Drivers, News

I commented previously on government plans to increase the motorway speed limit to 80mph – first of all in February this year, then in September, and most recently in October.

In my first article, I made it clear that it will not shorten journey times – the main argument from the government for doing it. All it will do is make people arrive at the next bottle-neck quicker, with the associated increased accident risk that will create. I stressed this in the second article. And the third was based on some extra evidence derived form the very people most at risk: young or new drivers.

Car freaks (many of whom are ADIs) and people who think they’re a whole lot better drivers than they actually are are drooling at the prospect. In that third article, I wrote:

One of my pupils asked me for my thoughts on it today. I told him that I don’t have any issues with an increase in speed limits from my own perspective – but I have a major concern when it comes to trusting other drivers to handle it properly.

You can maybe guess where this is heading. I doubt that many people in the UK are unaware of the events on the M5 Motorway over the weekend. Unsurprisingly, it has reopened (was it ever closed?) the debate over plans to increase speed limits.

Now, we don’t know what speed those cars and lorries involved were doing, but the severity of the outcome suggests they weren’t going at 30mph!

Let’s assume for a moment that at least some of them were breaking the current limit, and some were driving somewhat shy of that due to the alleged poor visibility. The outcome was total carnage.

Now imagine an upper limit of 80mph. What difference would there have been in the outcome? At best, absolutely none – it would have been identical. But at worst, some of those involved would have crashed at a higher speed than they are allowed to travel at legally at present.

Those going at the slowest speeds would have been doing so no matter what the upper limit was set at. So raising the limit would have added 10mph to the speed the crashes occurred at, and as I said in a previous article, the relative speeds of the cars involved in a collision are the seed for an accident, but the absolute speeds involved dictate the severity of the outcome once the vehicles are at rest (and the mass of the vehicles involved also comes into it, as well).

In other words, if two cars touch each other when one is going 5mph faster than another, the initial contact damage is slight. But if they are going at 70mph and 75mph respectively, loss of control is likely, and the outcome is unimaginably more dramatic than it would be if you merely clipped the wing mirror of a stationary car at 5mph – the same relative speed difference.

In spite of what some anorak advanced driving groups are claiming, speed DOES kill. Losing control at 80mph is definitely going to be worse than losing it at 70mph – and even 70mph is bad enough.

Of course, the M5 case is rather unique and spectacular, but the solution is still to enforce speed limits and prosecute offenders – not to raise the limit so they aren’t offending anymore.

Another Annoying TV Ad: Strongbow Cider

07/11/2011

DOAADI

Movies & TV

The latest Strongbow ad is driving me mad. It didn’t, until I noticed something… and now it does.

Take a look at the end bit (about 50 seconds in).

To start with, they’ve been doing the heaviest job imaginable, and they’re desperate for a drink of cold, refreshing Strongbow. So the weasly little guy takes a tiny, girly sip – it probably evaporated faster than he drank it – and makes a growling “Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!” sound, as though he’s just swallowed a sink full of the stuff.

I mean, you just don’t go “Aaaaahhhhhhhh!” when you’ve taken such a small drink, and it certainly wouldn’t quench any thirst you might have acquired from humping a sofa up 20 floors of a tower block where the lifts are broken.

I’ve gotten a taste for Stella Artois Cidre when the fancy takes me, and if I’m thirsty I can knock back a whole bottle of the stuff in 15 seconds flat. THAT’S how to quench a thirst, and justify going “Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!”