On the Notts/Derbys border is a place called Toton. It’s not what you’d call ‘rural’, but it’s not in the city either. One of its poorer points is the fact that it has a railway going through it, and this involves ‘sidings’ which – as everyone knows – is railway-speak for “a bloody great Victorian mess that can only be described as a scrapyard”. Mind you, another bad point is the number of anoraks who spend their weekends with cameras and binoculars watching the trains… but that’s another story.
Anyway, near the sidings there was a large expanse of land which was filled with Silver Birch trees. Just look at the slideshow below to see what it looked like last week (in the snow)… then look at what they have done to it now.
Apparently, the rail company sold it on to someone (who has not yet been identified), and they ripped all the trees down without warning. Obviously they are going to build something.
As the news report makes clear, no laws have been broken. But it is a shame that there are no laws which prevent this kind of thing.
The story is also covered by This Is Nottingham, and there they claim they spoke to two men who said they were the owners but who wouldn’t identify themselves, but who said they were doing a ‘mineral survey’ (what a way to do it, eh?) There is a suggestion that the site is going to be mined for low-grade coal!
I was out in the snow last night not long after it had really started to come down (around 6.30pm). I was travelling along the A60 in Bunny.
The snow had covered the road, and I was doing about 25-30mph in a 40mph zone. However, in my rearview mirror I saw the usual twat appear – obviously going a lot faster than me.
He came up right behind, then when he got the chance with no oncoming traffic in the short distance between where we were and the right turn-off to Keyworth he swung out on to hatched markings (which were not visible under the snow) and overtook. He disappeared at speed – well above 40mph, and then well above 50mph when the limit changed.
It was a red pratmobile, registration number FE51 UGY.
You really do wonder how these scum manage to stay alive.
EDIT 7/1/2010: And another one tonight. During the rush hour, heavy traffic on Wilford Lane. Traffic queuing through the Compton Acres lights for some reason (which turned out to be a bloody cyclist riding in the middle of the road further down). This tosser in a Silver Mondeo (reg. no. LC03 VVT) came flying down the outside lane and forced its way in front of me outside the ROKO creche, causing me to have to brake in sub-zero conditions. It then tailgated the car in front and once it got on to Loughborough Road it drove off at well above the 30mph limit. I passed it at the Radcliffe Road lights – so what the hell was the point?
EDIT 8/1/2010: And two more. This morning I was on my way to a pupil – it was -3°C and icy. I was just approaching the Nottingham Knight roundabout when an Erewash Commercials lorry (reg. no. FJ04 UAU – going bloody fast: I thought those things were speed-restricted) being driven by a chimpanzee pulled out just in front of me, without any regard for anyone else. He caused me to brake sharply, and then proceeded to break the 60mph and 40mph speed limits on the A60 as he headed towards Bunny.
The tonight, a prat in a grey saloon (reg. no. A14 AGB) on Clifton Lane from Ruddington overtook me on a road which has solid white lines and signs saying “It’s 30 for a reason” (the reason being someone was killed there a few years ago) in snow and sub-zero temperatures. I made sure he knew what I though of his sexual DIY skills when I caught up with him at the CliftonLane/Green Lane roundabout a few hundred metres later.
Another story from The Sun, to do with the weather again. There is also a fuller write-up in The Telegraph:
Look how slick the road is with ice, and the locals had warned the driver not to try and move the car. People could hardly keep their footing on the pavements. This is why… a video taken in Paignton, Devon.
Again, it reminds me of those dickheads who advocate going out in really bad weather to teach pupils, no matter what. At some point conditions become such that skidding avoidance is impossible (unless you just stay indoors).
Mind you, once again the decision to hold back on any road treatment by the local authorities has to be questioned (by the time this happened, the temperature had been at or below freezing for over a week).
This is a classic case of what I call a Weasel Boy – imagine him behind you in traffic: you see a black pratmobile, spotty little oik barely able to see over the steering wheel, ears sticking out so in silhouette he looks like a wingnut, trying to get past you in any way he can.
But Ajmal Khan contacted The Sun to boast that he’d passed his test first time purely from skills learnt during joyriding. He even boasted that the car he passed his test in was not insured. The Sun has reported him to The DSA.
Khan wasn’t happy with the article, and according to this other story in Luton Today he is going to sue. The Sun says it taped the interview and is confident it can deflect any claim. But better still, Khan claims in this further story in The Bedforshire News that his call to The Sun was a hoax.
Khan had better make his mind up which story he’s going with, as it seems he has three different ones across three newspapers. The bit I like is where it describes him as ‘a student’. One thing you can be sure of, if he IS a student then it will be at one of those fun local colleges that do joke courses, and not a proper Uni.
I was playing with my new in-car camera last week and came across something you don’t really see very often when you are driving along.
moobarb Cow On A Trailer
I had to do a double-take when I saw it… but I also had to look it up when I got home to see what moobarb was all about (the van gave no clue, as far as I could see).
I thought it might be an organic dairy, or possibly some refreshing new yoghurt drink… something like that anyway.
It’s actually pretty boring (to me, at least): they are a furniture supplier.
However, it goes to show how effective some forms of advertising can be. This particular one might be lost on some people: I am definitely not one to be taken in by hype and most advertising leaves me cold, but seeing this really got me wondering what it was all about.
Maybe driving instructors could learn a thing or two here. Driving school advertising tends to be either very Victorian (plenty of flowery language because you are old and speak like that anyway) or very Antipodean (state the obvious – and only the obvious – because your audience is stupid). In other words: basic.
…And yet another Judge shows himself to be only one level above plankton on the evolutionary scale.
There’s been a story in the British press over the last few days ( Sunday Express version here). What happened was that Munir Hussain and his brother Tokeer came home to find burglars with knives in the house. The burglars threatened to kill his family.
Munir and Tokeer chased them and beat one of them up (a story in another paper says they used a cricket bat to hit Walid Salem – and they hit him so hard it broke). Salem has 54 previous convictions (that’s convictions, not attempted crimes – heaven knows how much he has gotten away with).
Now, here’s the question: what happened next?
Munir and Tokir have been jailed, and Salem has been let off with a 2-year supervision order – during which time he’ll undoubtedly add to his 54 previous convictions!
You really couldn’t make this up, could you?
The Judge (John Reddihough – the surname itself is enough to explain the gulf between his class and reality) said:
The prosecution rightly made it plain [he can’t even use normal English] that there was no allegation against you, Munir Hussain, in respect of the force you used against Salem in defending your own home and family or of the force used by either of you in apprehending Salem.
However, the attack which then occurred was totally unnecessary and amounted to a very violent revenge attack on a defenceless man.
It may be that some members of the public or media commentators will assert that Salem deserved what happened to him at the hands of you and the two others involved and that you should not have been prosecuted and need not be punished.
However, if persons were permitted to take the law into their own hands and inflict their own instant and violent punishment on an apprehended offender rather than letting the criminal justice system take its course, then the rule of law and our system of criminal justice, which are hallmarks of a civilised society, would collapse.
I wonder if this imbecile realises that Salem and his associates would have got away and not been dealt with by “criminal justice”, and so would have become part of the “civilised society” – of which Reddihough’s class is above, anyway – that justice is pontificating about?
What makes it worse is that the Police said at the trial that they didn’t want Munir and Tokeer jailed.
At least Salem appears to have been put out of circulation by the two heroes. Someone had to, because justice appears incapable of doing anything other than changing its own coleostomy bag, it would seem.
Given some of the idiotic decisions justice makes on a regular basis, it would have been easy to have freed the Hussains. But here we have yet another case of some geriatric panto dame demonstrating his skills at the expense of normal people.
I was on my way to a pupil last night during the rush hour. I was travelling south along the Nottingham Ring Road, just at the junction with Nuthall Road – here, the road is temporarily three lanes wide (or four if you include the right-turn only lane towards the M1), but it merges back to two as soon as you get past the traffic lights. I was in the 2nd lane.
The lanes were just merging when I saw this dark grey or black Volvo V70 approaching at extremely high speed in my mirror in the outside lane (reg. no. YP09 ZTF ). The guy driving it literally forced me into the left-hand lane. He had no intention of stopping or of giving way.
Obviously, I used a variety of hand signals to explain to him the inadequacy of his genitals and the absence of anything between his ears. He seemed to understand this, because when I passed him he was holding his finger up in such a way that he recognised what he was. I should also point out that his physiognomy was most typical of his kind.
"Crybaby" Jim Breaks
I don’t know if anyone remembers a wrestler in the 70s called Jimmy Breaks (nicknamed “crybaby”). I don’t want to be disrespectful to Jimmy, because he was a great entertainer, but he did have a certain appearance which went in tandem with both his image and his profession. Essentially, he had a face which looked like it had just encountered a wall at high speed.
Well, the zygote driving this Volvo had exactly the same appearance – small and inferior-looking, with piggy little eyes close together. He also had the kind of hair and fringe which looked like someone had run some masking tape around his head, then farted on it whilst suffering from the biggest dose of the galloping gazungas ever encountered. You know what I mean: cropped short, dead straight fringe with no deviation, extremely dense (just like what was underneath).
But the speed he was doing in that 40mph zone must have been close to 60mph (they do it between the speed cameras when they try to queue jump in heavy traffic) and his driving so dangerous that if it were caught on film he would be looking at a jail term. Seriously, you had to see it to believe it! Oh, yes. And he had a woman in the car with him. I bet she was dead impressed.
Now, I know that this sort of behaviour is a growing problem – especially with the sort of pondlife which drives like the guy in the Volvo (reg. no. YP09 ZTF – I’ll mention it again so the search engines pick it up well). But I was out with a pupil today, and bearing right at Trent Bridge to go down Radcliffe Road there was this woman in a blue Renault Scenic (reg. no. FD07 POJ ) who was in the left lane, and she forced us out in order to get past parked cars without stopping.
Once again, I used hand signals to explain the obvious weakness with whatever it was which passed for intelligence in her species – but I don’t think she saw because she was deliberately not looking in the mirror (like they do). I caught a glimpse of her face and she, too, bore a striking resemblance to the guy in the Volvo (with the exception of longer hair and no doubt something defining her femaleness (which would need to be determined in a laboratory, seeing as it wasn’t that apparent otherwise).
At the Lady Bay traffic lights she got behind another learner. I can imagine the cursing which was emanating from her front orifice – she had what appeared to be a young girl in the passenger seat – and when the lights changed she forced her way across several lanes to both over- and undertake at more than than the 30mph speed limit in force on that road.
These kinds of people – who really should be prevented from breeding – are a frighteningly growing phenomenon on our roads. They aren’t just dangerous, but dangerously illegal in their behaviour. Something really needs to be done about them.
You read a lot about the state of the planet these days. Closer to home, much is made of the decline of the British hedgerow .
Hedgerows can be very old – often marking important boundaries. But their most significant features are their aesthetic appeal, and the amount of habitat they provide for various important flora and fauna. Many of the flora and fauna are endangered, and hedgerows are the only habitats in which they can survive.
The law surrounding hedgerows is both vague and complex – something the authorities like to make use of. You can read much more about the subject on Naturenet.
One of the most annoying aspects of hedgerow – and, indeed, any natural area’s – maintenance is the JCB (or tractor)-mounted Hedge Trimmer, like this one.
Note the idyllic setting… spring or early summer, overhanging trees with blossom. Quiet rural road.
You can almost imagine wood nymphs frolicking naked in the adjoining fields, as local peasants draw water from natural wells or bathe in crystal-clear springs, before heading to the fields to sow their crops.
The reality is somewhat different, though. The picture here – taken from a sales brochure – doesn’t tell the true story. Not by a very long way indeed. After the passing of one of these damned things, it looks like someone has dropped a bomb!
These destructive machines are not just used to mow the grass. They can be used for that, of course, usually after they’ve been adjusted to cut to about 5cm below ground level to make the trim last longer. But they also tend to ‘mow’ anything that gets in their paths, and that includes all kinds of rubbish (i.e. plastic bottles) that the sanitised picture here doesn’t show. They’ll pulverise a Coke bottle, discarded wheel trim, or traffic cone into fragments in seconds – which brings me on to the subject of what they do to hedges.
I must admit that in the past I have been amazed by what local councils – and other "responsible" bodies, such as the National Rivers Authority (NRA) – do when they ‘maintain’ areas which fall under their jurisdiction. Forcing tarmac footpaths through every patch of green is one of my least favourite – how on earth attracting people into the middle of previously inaccessible natural areas (with their bikes, dogs, motorcycles, household waste, and so on) is in any way conducive to ‘conservation’ is a form of logic which escapes me. I think with councils in particular there is a huge chasm separating what they say they will do when they want to be elected, and what they actually do once they have been. So… are you ready for this?
Don’t forget that idyllic scene in the picture from the sales brochure…
Over the last few days I have driven a number of times down a single track road in Bunny, Nottinghamshire, with pupils. They are "trimming" the hedges.
The result is shown on the left.
Until they started, the trees were up to that fence. But look more closely and you’ll notice that we aren’t talking about a bit of pruning – this is wholesale destruction.
The picture on below right shows some of the damage and debris in more detail.
You can see how entire trees have simply been ripped apart – partly by the pneumatic jaws of the trimmer, partly by the sheer incompetence of the driver of the vehicle – who seems to have dragged some of them out of the ground as though he were in a hurry.
The trees were probably 20-30 feet high before they were killed.
It isn’t just this one area – a long stretch of the road which is apparently the responsibility of the Council is affected to the same degree (a stretch further down, and most of the opposite side of the road, is the responsibility of the local farmer, who makes a somewhat better job of things)..
This next picture on the left clearly shows soil, where the tree has effectively been uprooted. It’s just been dragged out of the ground.
The tree – a willow – was clearly a mature specimen. The trunk thickness is a guide to that fact.
This next picture, below right, shows the typical damage caused by these devices to smaller branches – even when they are being used correctly. They simply smash the branches apart, and they are hugely powerful – meaning they can do the same to almost anything that fits between the jaws.
This is why I am against them – because even if they’re being used properly as “trimming devices” they still cause huge damage to the trees they’re used on.
The next picture below shows a tall – but now, very dead – willow tree It just looks like it has been blasted apart.
Even when a tree is left standing, as is the case when it won’t fit the jaws, branches that do fit are torn off, along with long strips of bark. Or the jaws will nip the trunk and shave the bark off one side, which is obviously going to weaken any tree that survives the immediate onslaught.
Finally, below right, another willow tree. Randomly selected from numerous more destroyed examples, the thickness of the trunk suggest a quite mature specimen.
Again, just look at the thicknesses of those trunks. This is not pruning or trimming. It is tree-felling. Hardly the rural idyll depicted in the brochure, is it?
I have long held the belief that council (and other authorities) workers who operate these machines, chainsaws, strimmers (or any other piece of equipment the general public wouldn’t normally have access to) have the kinds of intellects where they really get off on using them. The workers in this case had "NCC" on their backs, which I assume stands for "Nottinghamshire County Council".
Ironically, this particular road became overgrown to a significant degree way back in spring. So overgrown, in fact, that it was dangerous to drive down – and yet nobody did anything (well, a farmer did trim his section, and I noticed today that the NCC workers have left that section alone). Also ironically, Nottinghamshire has had a major issue this year with foliage hiding road signs – no one responsible for this serious problem got off their backsides and did what they’re supposed to.
Indeed, the proliferation of those "Your Speed" signs around here has, on occasion, raised smiles with me and my pupils when we have seen them being erected behind trees – thus necessitating pruning (some months later, naturally: it’s a different department) so that the branches don’t trigger the things falsely! No doubt there is some huge bureaucracy shielding any single person from that sort of cock-up, though.
I suppose the obvious conclusion is that complete stupidity obviously doesn’t just drive a tractor with a pneumatic strimmer on it. Stupidity also organises things from behind desks at County Hall (or any other place where responsibility accompanies it).
Less than a month ago, on this same road, I had to slow down to avoid a large grass snake – the first time in my life I have ever seen a live snake in the wild in this country. Yesterday, I saw a stoat (or weasel – I can never tell which, as they go so fast) dart across in front of me. I see various hawks daily, and in spring and summer it is common to end up following a hare as it seeks to find a gap in the hedge (though it shouldn’t have much trouble now). Owls occasional flit across your headlight beams at night. During summer days, bright green cuckoos are often disturbed by passing cars. Nottingham County Council is doing its level best to screw all that up.
Another aspect of these voracious cutting machines is that hedge-trimming is now often done more frequently. What was once a chore is now a doddle for farmers and landowners. As a result, hedgerows consisting primarily of Hawthorn have their new growth removed in early spring (and so look awful for a large part of the time), and then all the berries are removed around September/October – and these are (or were) a food source for some of our native birds. The same applies to hedgerows containing Elderberry – these have weak stems and the thrashing they get up to three times between spring and autumn prevents them being able to produce flowers or fruit. At the moment, most rural roads with hedgerows around here look sterile: all the yellowing leaves have been shaken off and the berries are gone. All that’s left are shattered twigs and geometrically-shaped woody columns for mile after mile.
In defence of farmers, at least they have the sense to fit their machines with the right kind of flail head. You see, those tractor-mounted cutters can have a variety of ‘hammers’ installed which deal with anything from grass up to things the size of cooling towers. Nottinghamshire County Council appears to operate on the ‘one size fits all’ principle, and that’s why its machines can do the kind of damage to whole trees shown in those pictures above.
I wonder if anyone will realise the damage being done before it’s too late? And I wonder if Nottinghamshire County Council actually cares?
Footnote: I reported it to the Council at the time. They responded with a load of guff about "maintenance", as usual, but admitted that they would tidy up the debris. They never did. And that was more than two years ago!
Supermarkets’ ‘own-label’ foods contain less salt than the leading brands, the food watchdog reveals today.
Now, ‘leading brands’ are called that because they sell more than other (non-leading) brands. Hasn’t it occurred to anyone that ‘leading brands’ hold that position because in spite of costing more, they actually taste better?
Kingsmill White tastes better than Tesco Wholemeal (although comparing white bread and wholemeal is a bit pointless).
Kelloggs Cornflakes taste better than Tesco’s own brand.
Kelloggs Rice Krispies taste better than Sainsbury’s own-brand version of puffed rice cereal.
Heinz Tomato Ketchup tastes better than Asda’s Smart Price version.
Why? Because they all contain more salt. And salt makes food taste good. It’s also why so-called ‘junk food’ also tastes good – or it used to, until they started taking salt out. As an aside, Heinz Baked Beans taste better than any other baked beans on the planet, yet even Heinz has screwed up by removing most of the salt. I just put it back in when I cook them.
Furthermore, the Food Standards Agency recommends bread should contain a target level of 1.1g of salt. Kingsmill bread only contains 0.08g more, but Tesco’s offering contains 0.4g less. Does it actually need to contain this much less?
This is the problem: people have got it into their heads that salt should be eliminated completely – or as near to completely as possible – from our food. The only reason bread still has it in is that it won’t rise properly if they take it out altogether. It would also taste totally crap, but that doesn’t bother them.
The human body needs salt – a totally salt-free diet would be unhealthy. But worse than that, a totally salt free diet would lead to the blandest food imaginable. And that reminds me of that Goodness Gracious Me sketch and ‘going for an English’:
Around here, takeaway Chinese meals often taste rubbish because the salt is gone (egg-fried rice made with rice cooked without salt is awful). I even had a pizza last week and I didn’t know they made salt-free tomato paste and pepperoni until now. Thank God most Indian takeaways haven’t succumbed yet.
I’ve noticed a new and worrying trend amongst certain drivers as I’m travelling around each day, involving sat nav devices.
The manual for TomTom sat navs is quite clear on how and where to mount the unit, and why.
I am seeing more and more people with these things mounted right in the middle of the windscreen – presumably so they don’t have to move their heads to look at it. Only last night I was behind a woman in a black Mini Cooper and the sat nav was mounted right in the vertical centre of the windscreen and considerably to the right side of the rearview mirror.
The problem is that it always seems to be a certain kind of person – a development, if you like, of the chavs and boyracers. I guess the boys like to think they’re riding around the universe in Fireball XL-5 or something. Not sure what the girls do it for (I won’t say anything about navigational ability here).
Joking aside, it’s only a matter of time before someone has an accident and it is lack of visibility that has contributed. The girl I saw last night – and she is one of several this week – flew through a 20mph zone at well above the limit, and zoomed around a corner at traffic lights in typical try-to-rip-the-steering-wheel-off-and-do-it-on-two-wheels chav-like style.
I was out in the snow last night not long after it had really started to come down (around 6.30pm). I was travelling along the A60 in Bunny.
One of the most annoying aspects of hedgerow – and, indeed, any natural area’s – maintenance is the JCB (or tractor)-mounted Hedge Trimmer, like this one.
Over the last few days I have driven a number of times down a single track road in Bunny, Nottinghamshire, with pupils. They are "trimming" the hedges. 
You can see how entire trees have simply been ripped apart – partly by the pneumatic jaws of the trimmer, partly by the sheer incompetence of the driver of the vehicle – who seems to have dragged some of them out of the ground as though he were in a hurry.
ost of the opposite side of the road, is the responsibility of the local farmer, who makes a somewhat better job of things)..
powerful – meaning they can do the same to almost anything that fits between the jaws.
s obviously going to weaken any tree that survives the immediate onslaught.
piece of equipment the general public wouldn’t normally have access to) have the kinds of intellects where they really get off on using them. The workers in this case had "NCC" on their backs, which I assume stands for "Nottinghamshire County Council".
I am seeing more and more people with these things mounted right in the middle of the windscreen – presumably so they don’t have to move their heads to look at it. Only last night I was behind a woman in a black Mini Cooper and the sat nav was mounted right in the vertical centre of the windscreen and considerably to the right side of the rearview mirror.