Diary Of An ADI - A Driving Instructor's Blog

Men’s Winter Olympics

11/02/2018

Feminist Olympics Anyone tell me when it starts?

I mean, I know all about the GB women (well, I would if I’d bothered to read it), the South Korean women, the North Korean women, the synchronised North Korean cheerleaders (women), the joint North and South Korean women’s ice hockey team, a bronze medal a British woman won in Sochi in 2014 in something that’s nearly a sport, and women from a few other countries who have already won medals this year. Oh, and a woman from Britain who won’t be taking part because she broke her foot. And a pointless vlog by some woman competing in something else that’s also nearly a sport (look, winter sport is caning it downhill as fast as you can on TWO skis – long ones – and maybe weaving in and out of some poles stuck in the snow, perhaps even ending up in intensive care – not poncing about on short skis (or even just one fat one), doing somersaults, or doing it to music).

But I was, like, wondering when the proper sport begins.

Graduated Licences (Again)

09/02/2018

DOAADI

ADI, DVSA, News, Training

The media is having a hissy-fit over the possibility that new drivers could face restrictions after they pass their tests.

Possibilities include:

night-time curfews
speed limit restrictions
restrictions on number and age of passengers
lower drink-drive limits
restrictions on engine sizes

No one should worry just yet. With such organisations as the RAC and Brake poking their oars in, each with its own preferred set of restrictions, any changes are unlikely to happen at all – let alone quickly. Add to that the fact that this was raised in Prime Minister’s Questions, and all that Theresa May has said is she’ll “look into it”, and the likely date of implementation is well over the horizon.

If it happens, Theresa May won’t still be PM. That you can be certain of.

I don’t have an issue with some form of graduated licence. If it were up to me, no one would be allowed to drive an Audi or BMW (ever), any car with any sort of modification, or when wearing a baseball cap or hoodie until they’re at least 30 and have taken an IQ test to show that they’re smarter than, say, a squirrel.

Anyone who is learning to drive now can forget about it affecting them. Remember that some time this year, learners are supposedly going to be allowed on motorways with ADIs (driving instructors). This was announced officially in August 2017, following “government proposals” in January 2017. There was a consultation circulated in December 2016. But this was the fulfilment of something that started back in 2011, which announced that learners were going to be allowed on motorways in 2012. A total of well over 7 years.

And we still don’t know when in 2018 it will happen. It requires an Act of Parliament to implement, and there is no sign of this happening. The government managed to get itself voted into a minority at the last election, Brexit is causing more and more headaches for an increasingly aged-looking May (the worst of these being Boris Johnson), and autonomous electric vehicles will apparently be the norm from sometime next summer (if you believe some of the crap that gets written).

Graduated licences are probably way off.

The New Driving Test – One Month On

15/01/2018

DOAADI

ADI, Driving Tests, DVSA

Anyone due to take their first driving test in the new format, a bit of advice.

make sure you can handle roundabouts and multi-lane junctions competently when following satnav instructions
make sure you can do it on roundabouts and junctions you may not have driven on before

The satnav gives instructions differently from the verbal instructions your instructor or an examiner might have previously given. Whereas you might previously have been asked to “turn right, third exit, follow the signs towards Nottingham [or whatever], the satnav will say something like “go around the roundabout, third exit, A52 [or whatever]”.

Although the examiner might give some limited guidance in some situations, you need to be able to use the satnav display and any road signs to work out where you want to go. In a way, you have got to construct the old-style instruction in your head from the new-style one.

All the manoeuvres (edit: a reader points out that the reverse bay park is still done only at the test centre) can now be done away from the test centre, and that means the test can travel further before having to head back. Some of the routes are MUCH longer than any of the ones from pre-December 2016. Consequently, if your instructor doesn’t know about them, you may not have driven on many of the roads and roundabouts.

The new test is actually easier than the old one if you look at it objectively. However, the details above mean that SOME people will inevitably find it harder.

I’m going to do another article about the satnav, and I’ll add a link to it on this one once I’ve written it. Here it is.

Lewis Hamilton May Just Have Destroyed His Career

26/12/2017

DOAADI

Assholes, News, Sport

Or, he will have if some people get their way.

He told his (young) nephew, who was wearing a pink princess dress and holding a magic wand on an Instagram post, that “boys don’t wear dresses”. He’s since apologised, etc., etc., etc. But as you can imagine, that’s not enough, and more blood needs to be extracted before he can still not be forgiven.

The world gets madder by the day, and there are calls for Hamilton to be stripped of his MBE.

What’s funny is that if he’d have said boys must wear dresses, no one would have batted an eyelid. Or, if they had dared, they’d have quickly been slapped down.

And This Is What Brexit Was (And Is) All About

25/12/2017

DOAADI

Assholes, Brexit, News

It’s funny when you look around various discussion forums, and see how the attitudes of Brexiters have developed since June 2016.

Brexit, of course, was the stupidest decision this country has ever made – marginally ahead of the decision to hold a referendum in the first place, and so allow morons with serious problems in their heads to decide on something that is so far above their understanding, it’d be more likely that someone could throw a stone into the sun than these people make a rational choice.

As any objective person will already know, the voting demographics show clearly that (and these are general conclusions):

older voters voted to leave
younger voters voted to remain
people from deprived area voted to leave
people with no qualifications voted to leave
people with higher education voted to remain
at least twice as many older voters voted than did younger ones

I know this will upset Brexiters, but no matter where you look the demographics throw up the same general conclusions. Like it or not, the result was, overall, strongly associated with educational achievement, age, ethnicity, and position on the social ladder.

The narrow victory by “leave” emboldened people overnight, and the underlying reasons why many voted as they did became clear. A primary reason was effectively racism, and Brexit Neanderthals became active immediately. Although the media may have played things down since then – and they have – it hasn’t gone away, and this latest story just shows what bigots we have in this country, and how Brexit has made them all big and brave.

A sign was put up at a fishery in Oxfordshire by the owner, Billy Evans. It said:

NO VEHICLE ACCESS

NO POLISH OR EASTERN BLOC

FISHERMEN ALLOWED

NO CHILDREN OR DOGS

I’d bet any money that Evans wouldn’t have dared put that up prior to June 2016, and that the Brexit result gave him the wings to do it now. However, his use of the term “Eastern Bloc” – which ceased to have anything much other than offensive overtones in the early 90s – belies his age and educational background.

Evans appears to have put the sign up based on second-hand information from like-minded people, and has been forced to take it down. He could still face legal action, since the Equality and Human Rights Commission has said it was “unlawful”. What’s really frightening is that there are actually people in this country allowed to go about unsupervised who couldn’t see that right from the start.

Evans is quoted:

I do not tolerate thieves, wherever they come from.

I will stand up for what I believe in. If they want to call me a racist for stopping thieves coming on to my property then that’s what they’ll do.

He is obviously too stupid to realise that he has declared ALL Polish and “Eastern Bloc” people to be thieves with his sign.

His solution now appears to be to threaten to close down the fishery completely so that no one can use it.

Wagamama Upsets Union (What Doesn’t?)

24/12/2017

DOAADI

ADI, Food, News

Every year now, I make a concerted effort to fill my diary up to the rafters in the weeks running up to and during Christmas. I do this because I know from past experience that – without fail – as soon as Christmas starts to bite, people are going to start cancelling due to “illness”.

I don’t mind so much if they’re honest with me, but in the vast majority of cases any “illness” is simply a front for wanting to go Christmas shopping, do overtime, get pissed, recover from being pissed the night before, or to save money at this expensive time of year. Over-filling my diary means I still have a relatively decent amount of work remaining. This year has been better than most so far, but in the last two weeks I’ve had at least half a dozen last-minute cancellations and two no-shows (followed by profuse apologies, and claims of mortal illness).

Unfortunately, it is a sign of the times. With every year that passes, the trend is for people to get lazier and more dishonest. Which is probably why companies like Wagamama have strict working policies. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally against zero-hours contracts (they cost me a small fortune over a typical year if I have teenage pupils who work at McDonalds), and Wagamama’s apparent rule that you have to get someone to cover for you if you can’t get in stinks to high heaven. But I guess it is one way of managing lazy, lying scumbags you’re unfortunate enough to have working for you.

But it is this message to staff at one London branch which has upset the union. The Christmas week rota has the following attached:

No calling in sick! may I remind you that if you are unable to come for your shift it is your responsibility to find somebody to cover your shift (as per contract and handbook). Calling in sick during the next 2 weeks will result in disciplinary action being
taken

Naturally. Wagamama’s head office as distanced itself from the message. The Unite Hospitality union, of course, has more to say:

To threaten workers with disciplinary action for being sick is not just morally reprehensible, it may be unlawful under the Health and Safety Act and Equality Act as it discriminates against those with long-term physical or mental health conditions.

The irony in the fact that the message targets lazy liars, whereas the union supports them, is lost on Unite Hospitality.

Examiner "Strike" Action – December 2017

24/11/2017

DOAADI

Driving Tests, DVSA

Various alerts from DVSA over the last week. These are summarised here. Not so much a “strike” but a “work to rule”.

It’s the same advice as usual. Not all examiners are union members, and not all those who are will necessarily be involved. Turn up for your test as normal, get a free rearranged date if it doesn’t go ahead. They also include advice to consider changing your test now to avoid problems – which sounds more ominous.

The action is scheduled to start 23 November 2017 and no end date is given.

From what DVSA has said, the action is primarily a continuation of that we experienced over a year ago, but with the added complication of the new driving test due to become active on 4 December. The union is apparently “trying to link the dispute with health and safety risks” associated with the new test.

As I have written elsewhere, I have no issue with the additions to the new test per se. However, I have huge issues with the removal of the turn in the road and corner reverse manoeuvres. The new manoeuvres are so simple that my cat could do them, and they in no way represent a like-for-like replacement. But they are not dangerous.

As I’ve said before, the PCS union is a fossil, and thank God that only a small number of examiners are thick enough to belong to it.

Cannabis Plants Dumped

12/11/2017

DOAADI

News

I just saw ~~this on the BBC website~~ (unusually for the BBC, that link is now dead – they usually archive old stories) Apparently, someone dumped some bin bags full of cannabis plants at the side of the road near Harrogate in Yorkshire. Police are asking anyone with information to come forward.

It made me smile. You see, about 3 years ago, I’d stopped on a quiet road between lessons to grab a sandwich and do some emails, and I was aware of some dumped vegetation in the gateway I’d parked in. I did a double-take, and realised it was three large bales of cannabis plants – probably several kilos.

I phoned the police and they weren’t interested, citing something about only being interested if the plants had buds on them. They said if I was concerned I should call the council, though they didn’t have a number. I looked one up and called. After about 50 phone options – none of which came even close to covering such a find – I plumped for one which sounded as though they might be able to help. I tried to explain what I’d found, then the line went dead.

I thought: f**k them. I didn’t try again.

Over a period of about three months, the bales gradually decomposed and that was that.

It’s (Not) A Man’s World

12/11/2017

DOAADI

Movies & TV, Training

As I’ve mentioned in the About Me section, I seriously considered becoming a teacher before I went down the route of being a driving instructor. I like teaching people.

I saw an advert on the TV just now from the Department for Education pushing its Get Into Teaching campaign.

I think it’s fair to say, judging from those in the clip, that I wouldn’t be able to do it now. The advert clearly implies that only women and possibly those from minority groups are eligible. The video above carries interviews with seven people (six women, one male). The second video in the series has ten interviews (8 women, two men).

It’s funny, isn’t it? If it had been the other way round, World War III would probably have started.

I hate positive discrimination. It is usually far more deliberate than the usual type everyone gets worked up about.

Annoying TV Adverts – 2017

12/11/2017

DOAADI

Movies & TV

I’ve not done one of these for quite some time, but I am currently being driven to distraction by the most annoying TV advert of the year. It’s for TUI Holidays, and it features an irritating, gap-toothed woman, and a thin, whiny female voice singing an already-irritating song (“Ain’t Nobody”, by Rufus and Chaka Khan). According to one source I used, the actress in the ad, Bethany Louise Slater, is also the singer. However, a reader has recently written to me to inform me that they used a separate singer. Whatever and whoever, the singing is crap.

It’s made worse by the fact that TUI appears to be sponsoring Sky One this Christmas, so the bloody thing is on at least twice every 5-7 minutes – i.e. at the start and end of every ad break.

Edit: And it’s not just me. TV Ad Music refers to the music thus:

Such a shame, then, that they’ve chosen to soundtrack the ad with a terribly insipid cover version of… The trend for anaemic covers of classic songs in TV ads is long established…

Campaign describes it:

Turkey of the week… It’s a cheesy ad with poor singing and dancing…

And a lot of others feel similarly.

Incidentally, after a few weeks, Sky toned it right down, and although the annoying muted piano intro still appears with the same regularity at either end of ad breaks, the full version is thankfully much less frequent. I wonder if Sky will ever realise that they could well lose customers if they persist in showing really annoying sponsor adverts at saturation levels every year?

When will it stop?

Well, I’m writing this update in mid-February 2018, and the bloody thing is still being shown. Every ad break. And I’m getting more and more people finding the blog on search terms amounting to “when will Sky stop showing it?”

The short answer is that I don’t know. But one thing I do know is that I have been avoiding Sky One like the plague, and switching channels when the ad comes on. Furthermore, I will never book a holiday through TUI now on a point of principle. And I very much doubt that I’m the only one.